[dixiegrl83]

I have been in a relationship with this guy for like 5 years now. We have a little girl who will be 2 in July and I'm currently 10 weeks pregnant again. We have been off and on. Dating since I was 18 and he was just 16. He is now almost 21 and I am 23. We have had good times and really bad times. He has had this pot problem that came and went. Then he was sober for like 2 yrs. Its all coming back and he leaves me often. He used to cry at the thought of losing me. Then things flipped and I did all the crying. He wasn't really there for me when I was pregnant with Madison but I think its because he is so young. I was a b***h a lot I agree and would push him to leave home sometimes to stop arguing. Then we'd apologize and things were OK. Well our start to our relationship was good. We had A lot of sex and its always been a very sexual rship. I hang on to him every time we split and I feel like I lose my mind missing him. He left for the longest after madison was 7 mo old. He dated another woman... got back into drugs and I didn't hear from him in months. I found out he had gotten engaged to her too and then he wanted me back. He would call and cry and tell me what a mistake we made splitting up. Sure enough... as always... I took him back this past October. Well things were OK until right before xmas. I found out he had been lying about smoking pot. I was furious. He was watching our daughter while I worked at night part-time. He worked durning the day while I went to nursing school. I was making something of myself for a change. I no longer let him keep her alone. He got mad and would leave home for a day. Then it was longer. Each time he came back crying saying he wanted to quit and would. Robert was never one in the past to cheat on me... or even date on the weekends we would split up. He dated 2 girls besides me the whole 5 yrs we've known each other. I keep thinking he really does love me. But then why does he choose this drug. He says he was just being stupid when he was dating the other woman and was tired of us arguing like we did. He said he always thought of me and would cry when he heard certain songs. After talkint to her one day... she told me he did say he would always love me. What does that mean? Every girl that's ever known him knows all about me. Even his buddies. But if I'm so great why the hell is he not at home with is family being a man. I mean I've been sick during this pregnancy and he missed the 1st apt. because his dad had him put in detox. He was very angry and I feel like he blames me too. He left recently after I refused another engagement ring and told him I wanted him to stay clean before I married him. He says I crushed heis feelings so he left to his friends house. I don't want to let go of him. It hurts too bad. I want to believe in our love. I want to believe he really really loves me. I don't know what todo. Don't get me wrong he's been really really good to me at times. I just don't know anymore. I need advice.

[squidward]

Hello,

Its sounds to me that he has depression issues like me. On top of that,he smokes pot(depressant). It causes moods to go from one extreme to the other. You act irrationaly and lash out,then you gain your senses back and appologize. He chooses the drugs over you.Men hate ultimatums, but you also have a child and pregnancy now. You need to do what is best for you and your baby.There is the arguemnt that a child needs it's father. However, that said, a child needs a stable environment to develop. A up and down rollercoaster ride with a man that does drugs is NOT stable. Two year olds are very impressionable, and they aborb everything they see and hear. He needs not only drug rehab, but counseling as well. There are more issues deep down that he is using drugs to help cope with the pain.

Im a F/T university student majoring in Criminology/Psychology.One of my courses Im taking now is Child Development. So I have book knowledge, as well as I myself am going to counseling to deal with sexual abuse when I was 12.Only thing is, I don't use drugs or drink alcohol.I address it directly in counseling because its negative affects have affected my current life.

If he really loves you, he will seek help ON-HIS-OWN. If you push him too hard, he will bolt.

Hope this helps

Dale
[email protected]

[talaniman]

If pot smoking is an issue then stick to your guns and don't waiver. Just know it may take him awile to see things the way you do, if he ever does. Raise your kids and let him make his own choice.