[djflawless]

Hi everyone! My situation is so complicated. I've been with my girl for almost 2 years. It's been amazing emotionally and intimitely but like all relationships we had our ups and downs. We both felt like we were destined for each other. I knew it in my heart that I've found the one for me and she felt the same. She's a single mother with a 5 year old boy. We got alone very well and he really looked up to me and I played the father role. I did above and beyond in this relationship. I pretty gave her the world and we had a lot of first times together. I pretty much set the standards pretty high and I know that I'm incomparable. Anyway, we've been fighting at least once a week. We make up and everything is good again. I only get to see her on weekends and during the week we're always on the phone. So, we get into a fight 2 Saturdays ago and didn't call her but went to see her on Sunday and we made up. The week went by and I was hoping to see her for the weekend but she spent time with her sister cause it was her birthday. She said she would come over on Sunday to see like old times. So, I call her Sunday morning and she doesn't answer I figured she was still sleeping. So I than decide to drive to her house and surprise her and I find out she wasn't even home. I asked her son and he told me she left. So I asked her sister if she even went out with her and she said no. So now my mind is going crazy and worrying about her. I tried to call her and she never picked up. I would leave her messages and still nothing. So I stayed at her house and played with her son and just waited for her till she came home. She didn't even come home until 1am. I confronted her asking her why the hell she dissed me and not answering my calls. Asked if she was cheating and why she lied to me. This was just not like her and I was just totally blinded sided. Apparently we made up but it still felt weird. Come Monday I call her but I get the impression she doesn't want to talk to me. So I go over to her work and surprise her with flowers. After that I still felt like it didn't change anything. So the days goes on and she never calls me. So Tuesday comes and I come over again to try to surprise her and take her son to school. She got mad and said when are you going to leave me alone. So later we meet up at her work and we just argue like crazy. She says all this meanful things like I lost feelings, leave me alone, I don't love you, I wish you just die... etc. So than I just chill in my car and just throw out all the pictures of us and take off for a long drive to clear my head. She would than call me every one or so. I thought she wanted me to leave her alone but why is she still calling. She said she cares about me but I respond, "that's all it is." Okay come Wednesday I went over to find my answers and if we are broken up than I need my closure. For the most part I got my answers. We had a mutal conversation. Asked what is going on why are you pushing me away. Do you miss me or even think on me and how much this is hurting me just leaving me high and dry for no apparent reason. She wouldn't even let me hold her, kiss her or touch her. When she gave me a hug it was like she did it cause she had to. Well, I asked her do you love me or are you in love with me. She said she loves me and that hurt cause everything was going so well with us I know she can't just throw away a really good thing so fast. She can't just loose everything she feels in a day or so. She asked for space and I respected her decision. She said all she wants to is do is go out and drink. I guess the time she went out she realized that she wants to know what's out there. In a way it's like she needs to test our love to see if I'm the one for her. So it's been 5 days now and I haven't called and she hasn't either. It's torture and I think that she's cheating on me but my heart and my gut feeling says no. Hopefully the space can either make us or break us and I don't know how long to wait for her. I give it 2 weeks and if I still don't hear from her than I know it's truly over. What sucks is the Valentine's day is coming up. I'm doing the No Contact rule but I want to surprise her with simple flowers just to acknowledge the day and show I care. But part of me says to just move on. All my friends say just give her her space cause they get like that and one you leave her alone she will come to realize that I'm the only guy for her. Has anyone been in my shoes? When everything is going on a magic carpet ride and out of no where things get blind sided. I know I can't wait forever and all I can do is just focus on myself but I know for a fact, she will realize how good of a guy I was to her and whoever she moves on with she will regret letting me go. It's her lost but if it's true love she will find her way back to me. Any opinions will help me a lot cause I'm so confused and hurt... thanks

[rol]

<<Has anyone been in my shoes? When everything is going on a magic carpet ride and out of no where things get blind sided>>

I think most of us here have been in those shoes...
Give her space, do not send flowers, nothing.. it will drive her further away.
Let her contact you when she is ready.

[valinors_sorrow]

You are so caught up in the insignificant details, you don't hear yourself in this. A solid relationship doesn't fight once a week. A good relationship is loaded with communication. People who really know each other intimately don't blindside. As I see it, you both need to do a little growing up so that you can make sure honesty and trust accompanies any love -- trust built on personal integrity where you say what you mean and mean what you say, with all your cards on the table.

When she asked for space, those are the details you both should have been paying attention to -- the how and why and for how long. Not how many times you brought her flowers or if she would hug you or not. Now you're left wondering and you set that up. Tell your truth instead of arguing who's fault it is -- you both have a part in it, whatever it is. Open communication works so much better than this. In your next relationship, why not try some?

[talaniman]

anyone been in my shoes?

We all have at sometime or another,r and many of those that reply are going through the same thing you are NOW. Leave her alone and forget about Valentines Day flowers. Do not call or contact her at all, no way. She wants this break so give it to her while you get a life that you enjoy without her. Read some of the other stories on this forum of those who have been there.

[LBP]

It sounds a whole bunch like she's cheating on you... I'm not saying that's the case and I hope you know something different, but form what you've described that's my gut reaction.