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    sarascrane's Avatar
    sarascrane Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 19, 2011, 09:10 AM
    How to answer girlfriend if she ask me, what's in it for me?
    I have approched a girl through dating site and she has asked me what's in it for me?
    How do answer this question and to get positive reponce
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
    		  
    #2

    May 19, 2011, 10:01 AM

    I'd avoid anyone who asks me what's in it for them-big red flag.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
    		  
    #3

    May 19, 2011, 10:35 AM

    An indication of high maintenance and high standards on her end.

    Why not just answer honestly? If she can't even handle your honest answer, then there's not much of a bright long term future together anyway.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
    		  
    #4

    May 19, 2011, 11:00 AM

    Give her an honest answer. What kind of response is a positive one for you? Is there something in it for you as well?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
    		  
    #5

    May 19, 2011, 11:06 AM

    I'm confused. What's in it for her, or what's in it for you?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
    		  
    #6

    May 19, 2011, 11:20 AM

    Like Wondergirl, I am confused, too.

    Either way, if you are unsure about what she is asking, ask her for clarification. Then answer truthfully. If you don't know, you don't know. If she is asking for something you aren't ready for, tell her.

    Go for an open dialog instead of attempting to manipulate the response and therefore the relationship.

    Good communication is developed from the beginning. The only reason you wouldn't need to develop it is because what is in it for you is a 'hook up' not building a relationship.
    ken007nielsen's Avatar
    ken007nielsen Posts: 288, Reputation: 211
    Full Member
    		  
    #7

    May 19, 2011, 01:13 PM
    I would have answered to that question: A regular seat in the kitchen and 2 times a week a place in the bed room..
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
    		  
    #8

    May 20, 2011, 06:48 AM
    There is a lot of reading (literally) between the lines, when you meet up with someone through a dating site.

    By her question, she could have meant- are you looking for an actual relationship? Or are you looking for a booty call. What's in it for her could also mean, should she invest her time in someone who isn't on the same page as she is. She could have been burned many times.

    If all you have done is communicate on the computer, it's time to move on a little. Exchange phone numbers, and talk. Then arrange to meet in a public place for coffee. Things that you would normally do with any new woman in your life. Start learning about each other, and see if you are compatible.

    Then go from there.
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