[bsambrano]

My girlfriend (28)and I (28) had been dating for about 1 1/2 years when she mentioned taking a break(this was 6 months ago). My instant reaction was that there was somebody else or that she wanted to be w/somebody else. When I told her that if we took a break that it would be over and I would move on she changed her mind (with some manipulation from me) and said that she thought we should try and work things out. To give you a quick summary of her history 3 years ago her brother 27 killed himself, her first boyfriend/high school sweetheart of 6 years got murdered (they had been broken up for a few years)& her mom died of cancer two years ago. Well I basically came into the picture 5 months after her mother passed away and it seemed that we connected and fell in love. Well then 6 months ago out of the blue she comes out and says that she wants to take a break... I did not like this idea so I manipulated the situation and we stayed together. She had mentioned the idea from time to time and said that she just need to reflect and maybe needed some contrast(dating other guys) to make sure that she wanted to be committed to me. Every time we dit take a break it lasted for a few days then somebody would break down and call and we would be back together. Most recently I went on a work trip to South America for 5 weeks and asked her if this would be a good time to take a break and not talk... She said no. During this time when I was gone(the last 3 weeks of my triP) she had a 3 week work trip to New York well after telling me how much she missed and loved me the last week of my trip and her trip she tells me that she thinks we should date other people. Well it turns out that she went out with some guy in New York and she swears nothing happened but she says he made her feel alive and that there was a spark there we no longer have. Well after her telling me that we don't have that connection she once felt before and that she is unsure if she loves me... she says that she just needs a little bit of time not to date others but to just be alone and figure things out. Should I give her the space she wants and tell her I will be waiting for her decision or should I tell her that I don't desire to be with her anymore. Lets see what you guys have to say ;)

[s_cianci]

Definitely give her the space she wants. Take the time to work on yourself and do the things that you enjoy and interest you. Meet and date other people. You might decide that she really isn't that great after all and find yourself happy to be done with her. I won't go so far as to tell you what you should do as you have to make your own decision. However, this woman sounds very ambivalent and doesn't really sound like viable relationship material as she seems much too wishy-washy. That said, I definitely feel that a "break" is a good idea and could be very beneficial to you. Make the decision to stay away for a while and have no contact with her and pursue your own agenda. Keep the ball in your court. Contact her again if and when you decide you're ready. See her when it's convenient for you and don't let her give you the runaround.