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sammie71 · May 5, 2011, 11:47 AM

I've been with my boyfriend for 11 months. He has always been very affectionate, cares about my feelings, very loving. We got into an argument over a touchy subject that we have periodically fought over for the past few months. I know he is frustrated beyond belief with me. The argument quickly flared up, and as I was sitting on the bed in front of the wall and he was standing in front of me. Very quickly, before I even knew what was happening, he pushed me on the shoulder hard enough that I whacked my head pretty hard on the wall behind me. I was totally shocked and never suspected anything like this from him. He's has always been so sweet and caring. He instantly felt bad about it, and I was very upset and crying, I was just so stunned. Now, I don't know if I should stay with him or break it off. Was hoping to get some opinions. Thank you.

amicon · May 5, 2011, 11:56 AM

Eleven months isn't all that long a time to get to know someone.

What he did is totally unacceptable;violence never is.

My opinion-break it off and save yourself future heartache.

kctiger · May 5, 2011, 12:20 PM

Simple Answer: Yes, you should leave

Simpler Answer: RUN!

Ain't no affection in the world enough to make up for a violent reaction. Don't make excuses for an absolutely stupid decision on his part.

spitvenom · May 5, 2011, 12:44 PM

Think about it this way what if he pushed you and you fell and cracked your head on the corner of a coffee table? Or if he pushed you near the top of the stairs. I have been in arguments with Ex's where I felt I was about to lose it you know what I did I walked out of the house I never put my hands on them. Leave now it has only been 11 months.

thadevilsadvocate · May 6, 2011, 06:43 AM

I'm not going to disagree with any of the previous posts. I do not in any way support violence. However, if this is the first time it has ever happened, perhaps you could suggest that he talk to someone about it. Perhaps there is a lot of built up anger inside of him. After all, you mentioned that this is an argument that has come about often, and you mentioned that he is extremely frustrated with you about it. Perhaps this is a very big deal that is affecting him greatly, and he has perhaps been holding his real feelings of anger about this inside of him for a long time. I feel that if he is someone that you feel strongly about, then weigh your feelings for him and see if it would be worth you making this suggestion to him, and giving him a chance to seek help, before you leave him. Again, I don't support violence in any manner, however, I think patience and handling pressure situations is a learned trade, not one we are all born with.

Cat1864 · May 6, 2011, 06:57 AM

Sammie, before I give my opinion, I was wondering if you would give your ages?

Have you ever seen him lose his temper with other people, animals or in other situations?

talaniman · May 6, 2011, 07:16 AM

Violence is unacceptable in dealing with any issue between partners. Things will get worse not better, unless something is done to address this pronto. This is not something to be ignored, or swept under a rug. Address it, and make no mistake, he better know it will not be tolerated, and "I am sorry" is never good enough after the fact.

Be warned that this may be how he acts when he is angry, frustrated, or just tired of talking, and it's a BIG RED FLAG to pay careful attention to.

Don't let love, affection, or, and "I will never do it again", blind you to the obvious. He may hurt, or injure you, maybe seriously, and not mean it, but you will still be hurt, and injured, right?

mmresd · May 6, 2011, 10:25 AM

I don't think that it is acceptable when a male touches a female with any strength involved unless is during sex (with consent of course). So therefore, I would agree with the posts that says to leave him, today you hit your head a little, next time it might draw blood. It is a definite red flag, him feeling bad about it means that he lost control, but how much control he is able to lose is anyone's guess.

Good Luck,
Javi

sammie71 · May 6, 2011, 12:38 PM

We're both 40. Old folks. Lol

amicon · May 7, 2011, 12:26 AM

Again,you've only known him eleven months-sometimes it takes a while for the 'true' self to surface.

One blow is one too many.

Walk.

pattygrown40 · May 7, 2011, 07:06 PM

Girl run like hell!! Why even ask the question. Oh this sickens me!! I don't care how old you are someone making you hit your head up against a wall OMG!! What's next an accidental gun shot to the throat and then he turns the gun on his self!! Typical and it coukd happen RUN LIKE HELL!! GET OUT!!