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arianamay · Mar 23, 2011, 01:00 AM

How can I become virgins again? I am victim of rape when I was 6 years old and until now I can't get over it

Curlyben · Mar 23, 2011, 01:07 AM

You can't.

adviceishere · Mar 23, 2011, 01:38 AM

I wouldn't think of that awful time as losing your virginity (even though technically it was) but instead have your own personal way of losing your virginity, like when you meet someone and fall in love and make love for the first time. Typically that's the way people view losing their virginity, I don't see why you should be any different. :)

arianamay · Mar 23, 2011, 01:42 AM

Thanks for your advice

ScottGem · Mar 23, 2011, 03:48 AM

You really need to seek counseling to help you deal with this awful thing. But virginity is a physical thing. Once a penis has been inserted in your vagina, virginity is lost and can never be recovered.

On the other hand, in my humble opinion, your purity is intact. You were abused and violated. That doesn't mean you are less chaste.

JudyKayTee · Mar 23, 2011, 07:56 AM

Hve you talked to anyone about the rape? I realize you were a child when it happened but these things can come back and haunt us if we don't face them directly and get some closure. Was your rapist punished in some way?

This is a terrible burden for you to carry.

I was raped as an adult and I still occasionally have "flash backs" or wake up in a nightmare about it. I can't imagine what this would be like for a child!

As far as virginity is concerned - if a man loves you this will not matter. You were a child; this was NOT your choice.

Alty · Mar 23, 2011, 08:07 AM

I agree with everyone else. I too was molested as a child. My molester was female, so the actual act of "sex" didn't occur, but violation is violation, even if the violator doesn't have the necessary equipment to complete the act.

This isn't your fault. This is something that happened to you, not something you chose. You may not physically be a virgin, but you are still virginal. You didn't consent to what was done to you, and anyone that you fall in love with in the future should understand that. If he doesn't he's not worthy of you.

Do get into counseling, it really does help. I waited way too long to get help for myself, and one day it all came crashing in on me. Being able to talk to a professional about what happened, getting some closure, accepting that it's a part of my past but doesn't have to be my future, that really helped a lot.

Don't let this one act define you. There's so much more to you then this, it's only a small part of your life. The rest is what you make it, and that's entirely in your hands.

sharper11 · Mar 24, 2011, 08:14 AM

Great advice!! -- ScottGem makes a similar point, but making it "your own personal thing" is awesome. And why not. When you were six, you didn't have a choice, but now you do! Sorry for the horrible thing that happened to you, and realize it is not your fault.

JudyKayTee · Mar 24, 2011, 08:26 AM

Another part of this can be victim's guilt - even if it's NOT your fault there is a level of guilt involved. I think OP needs to speak to someone about several issues that are involved here.

Sex was forced on me. I had no choice and I was injured BUT I felt guilty for a very long time. Maybe I should have fought harder, maybe I did or said something, maybe, maybe, maybe. It's a long time before you forgive yourself.