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Nathan62 · Mar 4, 2011, 05:35 PM

Recently my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me, we are both 19 and were together through most of high school. She said that she wanted to figure out what life was like without a significant other, alone and mature and grow up. I've tried to talk to her and tell her to let me go but she continues to say that she doesn't know if things will work out in the future. Its just really frusturating because, I do love this girl and I know she loves me but she is overthinking everything and our former relationship is suffering even more. She is so set in her decision and has no way of changing it. I don't want to wait for her, but she won't let me go either no matter how many times I ask her to. I'm not going to ask if I should wait for her, because I'm not going to. I just want to know if what she is telling me makes any sense because it doesn't in my mind. I believe that if your in love, you would want to be with that person.

talaniman · Mar 4, 2011, 06:02 PM

You have a lot to learn about love, and you will find us humans can love what we had, but love something else more. I don't understand what you mean about being broken up, but she won't let you go. Hey if she dumped YOU, then let HER go, and start doing your own thing.

Sometimes they still love us, but not enough to stay together, because right now she is faced with a whole world to explore and find her place, BEFORE she settles down with one guy, and I can understand you being her only world all her youth so far.

mmresd · Mar 4, 2011, 09:47 PM

For starters, the reason why she won't change her mind is because after being with you for four years and getting used to being with you for four years, it makes it extremely difficult for her to make the decision to break up with you, but difficult or not, the decision has been made. You two are both young and there is A LOT to experience out there. She has had a good time with you but she is now done, and wants to try new things in life especially if she wants to go to college. Also, take this chance to enjoy yourself, now that you are "free" exploit it! ;) Just keep yourself busy and sooner than you think you will start to get over her, don't talk to her to let her know that her decision was final and that you are respecting her decision, and go do your own thing. Also, it may take a while, but you will enjoy being single again in due time, and at some point, you will meet someone better than the last girlfriend and get to experience a lot of new things.

Good luck,

Javi

Nathan62 · Mar 4, 2011, 10:39 PM

But, why would she be saying that she wants to work things out in the future? I've asked her to stop saying it a thousand times because it just hurts me more but she won't. It feels like she is putting me up on lay way... I've read questions on here so many times, and people are so quick to jump the gun and say move on. Well, moving on isn't always the best solution, you could miss out on something if you move on.

Is there any chance of us getting back together or am I wasting my time? As I said.. I'm not waiting around for her, but I would like things to fix in the future. And I think giving it time has a shot at fixing things, but I'm obviously biased. I'm not really in a position to meet new girls right now, as I don't a car and I live in a small town.

amicon · Mar 5, 2011, 03:38 AM

Hoping to fix things in the future sounds like you're about to put your life on hold,waiting for her to change her mind.

Bad move in my opinion-a better move would be to get on with your own life and actually go no contact with her-that would save you a lot of confusion.

Breakups hurt,but we get over them.

Every relationship is a learning experience.