[Mysavior102]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...lk-303157.html

Im very confused at this moment my boyfriend and I have been datin for a year&5months... We have had our ups and downs, nothing really big but last Saturday I saw a comment he wrote on a girls pics saying he loves her ***, that just simply disappointed me big time because I'm always so honest and respectful to him& I just thought he was too.

Although I didn't want to make this a big deal I asked him about it and well his exact words were I'm sorry I know it was a mistake, its just that I was so lonely that night because you decided to do sometin else & I mean I was like its not my fault I couldn't talk to you that night it was on a school night&& wow that just made me feel like his second option , so I flipped out on him I was like listen ik your a guy and guys will be guys & u can look and like but not take any actions that will than lead to my madness, you're the one who said thr you want honesty in our relationship so where did that all go?" I'm not your second option, if you do this on Facebook knowing that I could find out than how are you when you're in school and I can't see what's goinq on ? How do I know you don't flirt? & etc.. & well you guys you see the thing is he'll get a little upset when guys talk to me.. But he can do this? And I can't even barely talk to a dude because he gets worried of losing me.


I don't know but I now have trust issues I just can't trust him anymore and that hurts me more then it hurts him I can guarantee that for sure


https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...lk-303157.html

Please help:(

[adviceishere]

So is he telling you when you've got things to do that don't include him then he's going to look elsewhere for attention? LOL tell him to get real! You shouldn't feel paranoid when you've got your own things to do... them socail networks site are evil! They just cause so much trouble in relationships.. maybe you should both stop using them, could you both agree to that? This may be the only time he's done anything like this and you were pretty laid back and mature to say guys will be guys, you can look but don't act on it and he just HAD to take it a step further... my advice would be to come off that website and if he makes some excuse why he can't then he clearly doesn't want to fix this, he suvived without it at one point in his life before he joined. Anyway its your choice on what to do but just makesure he knows if anything like that happenes again there'll be no second chances.

[Mysavior102]

That's what I asked him. I was like hmm so when I can't talk to you because of other things I have to do , than you're going to entertain yourself with a other person? And well you see the thing is, he asked for forgiveness&said it will never happen again, but truth is that I don't know if I should believe him or not, I'm afraid ita going to happen again or maybe even worse.. :/. There are2things that are bothering me at the moment
1: I don't want to leave him just like that because he made a mistake that he realizes.

2: I don't want. To just stay with him pretending it didn't hurt me,& having to fake that its not going to come back as a flashback, because1: I wouldn't just be hurting him but I would be hurting myself as well, 2:: me & him do not go to the same school, we don't c each other like at all& if he likes getting entertained with other girls when I'm not around, than its going to happen more than just once because he goes his own way and I go my own way since we go to different schools.

Oh&3: we are both very young to be stressing out about things.

& about the Facebook thing, it's the same thing I was thinking about last night. those kind of websites do cause a lot of problems in relationships. . & I've decided to leave it alone for a while& I might ask him to do the same thing but hey listen if he knows that I found out about the whole fb thing than hmm he's not going to flirt on there anymore but he could on text

See what I mean its haunting me I can't seem to trust him again. . Maybe with time I will learn how to gain trust in him but its just too sooooon.


& thankkkks you give goood advices.

[southern_raised]

My best advice would be to keep doing what your doing and don't stop being you. If you want to go out with friends or study or just chill by yourself, your dude should be OK with that as well. Im pretty sure we doesn't panic when he does his own activities and you can't tag along.

And I may be wrong, but it seems like your really upset about the trust issues your having and in my experience, people usually are upset about those type of things because they reside on well founded ground and that person KNOWS that they should not trust their partner or that their partner is not in their best interests.

I think that deep down you know this guy is not ready for the type of commitment that you are ready for, but that you really want it to work.

If that is the case, drop the guy. As of now, just by the tone of your words, I can tell that you have invested a lot of emotions into making this relationship work. And it doesn't seem like your guy has invested half as much. You have a good heart and you understand that trust is one of the key foundations in any relationship. Find somebody with a like heart and be patient. You might not be religious, but find some quiet time and prey for discernment, resovement and peace. If you aren't then just use the time as a kind of pep talk for your future.

And holding on will only make the situation worse. Cause stopping the social networks won't help your relatioship, it will just mean he has to find his trills elsewhere. He will become a smarter cheat because he will know that a little sweet talking is all that is needed to get you off his back and another girl on his junk. You deserve stability. Find it with someone who respects and apprecieates your commitment and heart.

[Mysavior102]

Thnk you very much, all I can say at the moment is that its not working out at all anymore , today he got upset at me because I told him that I wasn't ready to go back with him
Because I think its too soon to trust him again& well he said that if that's what I want than okay, he says I'm playing with him& that I'm not ready for a serious relationship and he also told me to do whatever I wanted to do which hurt me so much more never in his life has he talked to me that way he's a passive guy and although he has his downs, he's loving and I just miss the way we used to get along I miss how we used to laugh and talk the whole night and I miss everything
His hugs :( & etc , but he now does not want to talk to me , he wnt text me back or reply my fb message. I know he's doing this because he's trying
To make me go to hiim, but I've decided to not go seek him
Because I don't want to seem so desperated when he feels it's the right time to talk than he'll do it because he
Wants to & not because I insisted. I guess I'm goinq to stay single for
A while I don't need drama and I don't want my heart to keep on breaking
Into little pieces. </3 :(.. .
& about the relegious thinq

I am relegious , I'm christian&therefore I do pray to god he gives me strength , patience & happinness, I also ask him to fix my broken heart & to fill me with his love&his love only I ask him to help me forget about him & I tell him that I know that there's always a reason for the things he does in life it may hurt us but its only for the best, so I leave all my
Problems in his hands<3


& thank you once
More.

[adviceishere]

Wow he's a pretty imature boy, your not ready for a serious relationship? Haha so he is? By mailing other women? Be strong girl! You don't need him! Of course you miss what you used to do together because of course at one point you both really liked each other but its in the past now, he's acting like a ****, he knows he's in the wrong and he's putting the blame on you! Are you going to let him do that? No way! Move on lady, there are plenty of thrustworthy people out there and by being with him your missng your chance to meet one, be single, mingle and have some fun, stay off Facebook and when you do eventually meet a new guy makesure he isn't on it or addicted to it LOL.