[imconfused1]

Moved to its own thread, and edited



Someone please help me though... lol... this is completely bad well not on my part anyway...

I am still not over my fling of two years ago... now I call her a fling because that is clearly all I was with the words I love you attached... grrrrr and that is what frustrates me more than anything in this world.

I started work in the industry that I used to love and well met a couple and they invited me out... we shall call them fire and water... not a good match... so fire was showing a lot of interest in me and we hung out went out without water a few times and nothing happened but I did start developing feelings for her... and I could see that fire was developing feelings for me... but no matter what I maintained my dignity and said that I was not going to do this because water was still involved.

So one night fire called me and we went out to the local club and things happened they happened very fast and we ended up sleeping together and talking about future and what it held for us and how we felt and she would follow me into the washroom at work and it would be a makeout session etc. She would send me emails to my phone telling me she loved me and I would do the same thing... fire and water broke up she found hair in the bed etc and in the shower... it was mine and we denied the fact that it was mine... I felt horrible especially because fire was telling me that her and water had broken up and all that fun stuff.

Come to find out they actually had broken up because water filled me in on a whole bunch of stuff... so while I was thinking everything was okay between me and fire and she would message me constantly telling me that she loved me. I got butterflies in my tummy and the whole works lol I know silly right... however we had plans for pride etc... we all ended up taking time away and ended up in a community and spent the night we went to one of the greatest gay/lesbian clubs my personal fav. The whole time there her supposed x water joined us... and they were "broken up" anyway the three of us shared a bed... ugggghhhhh awkward... anyway I was in the middle go figure not that I already was not in the middle of things... and fire kept touching and kissing and whatever we get back and I get an email to my cellphone telling me it is over.

I questioned it... sent email after email to explain to me what I had done wrong... I felt that water and fire were still together but I think it was more of a denial thing for me... and so I attempted on several occasions to break it off with fire... she would not let me go... so when she did I questioned it through email and I was scared crushed you name it I was a mess... so what happened was she did not return my emails not once... so I emailed a mutual friend and told her the entire situation... none of them speak to me anymore... I'm the bad one.

Out of the millions of people who visited pride two years ago I turn around not one time that day but severaltimes and who was standing there but fire and water. Fire watching my every move and at this point she looked sad because I was with someone else and I thought there was still a chance... nothing from her... she blocked me on places like Facebook etc... I did not try to talk to her I did not try to make ammends with her nothing I let it go...

then just a couple of weeks ago I am at a club that my new girlfriend and I go to every Friday and I have never seen fire there however this night I did... I saw her without water and with X whom I had emailed about the whole situation... Fire made it abundantly clear that she was there and watched me I could feel it... I didn't show that it bothered me... but clearly it did bother me and clearly I still have feelings for her and I don't know why when I was used.

However I do want her back and I am not even sure if her and water are together anymore... it upsets me enough to see her so I must still have feelings for her... I love my girlfriend a lot and don't want to lose her at all but I still have feelings for fire...

what do I do... I think that I still love her and want to be with her...

[talaniman]

You got used and dumped, but still listening to your heart, That's too bad because your brain would tell your heart to shut up and leave fire, and water alone and enjoy what you have. Old memories of yours are so selective, you remember the good feelings of attraction, and ignore the bad ones of being unceremoniously DUMPED.

Tell the heart to shut up, and listen to the brain that has ALL the facts you need to leave her alone and stop dwelling on fire, and letting her live rent free in your heart.

Your whole post is about feelings, yours, hers, and everyone else's, none of your feeling are backed by facts, however everyone's actions are quite clear, and the facts say that you ignored all the red flags, and assumed someone's feeling were the same as yours. You based all your actions on her words (pillow talk is so convincing), and fell in to deep to get out without being hurt.

You got hooked, and dumped, and seeing her at a club just stirred up old feelings, and you are feeling yesterdays love again. Let it go. Deal with the feelings, but don't let them get you carried so far away again.

Don't follow her to the bathroom either.

[answerme_tender]

Would someone please explain to me why someone makes a statement like" I love my girlfriend alot and dont want to lose her" , and yet want to get back together with this other woman who used and dump them back!! You don't use the word love and yet would cheat on your girlfriend in a freakin minute if you could with this other woman. If no one has ever explained that isn't love, that's makes you no better then the woman who used you and dumped you like you were nothing more then trash to be thrown out!!

If your ex is unhappy, then all I can say is--YIPPY. She deserves exactly what she gets. She was cheating on him with you. If she is unhappy and you got dumped by her so you both a taste of Karma!

Don't be stupid again! You have a woman wants to have you by her side. That should been more then trying to have another fling with a woman who obviouisly doesn't want YOU by her side, well at least not outside the bed!

Take care

[sharper11]

Put the FIRE out. Get on with your life and don't look back. If you are happy with your current GF, why ruin it by bringing DRAMA back into your life.

Flings typically stay Flings

[roxypox]

The whole thing seemed to be doomed from the start if you ask me...

You getting involved with a person who was involved
You carring on with that person
Fire dumping water for you
Fire dumping you for water

You should let this girl be. Like Tal said: you seem to hold on to a lot of the positive memories. The mind and the memory are selective and over time we do seem to be left with a lot of the positive aspects of things, but that dosen't imply that that thing is or even was good for you.

How do you move on? Well if I was you I think I would remind myself of the bad stuff. You got involved with a person who already was involved and you got used and dumped. It won't help you to cry over spilled milk, will it? While reminding yourself of the bad you can also throw in:

I deserve better than this! Cause you do!

For get her!