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haleyjames · Dec 24, 2006, 10:47 AM

Yesterday I had a birthday party and I invited all my friends, but two of them told me they could not make it. My best friend in the whole world told me she would come, but she did not. The bad thing is she had her mom call and tell me they would not get to come. They had a christmas play to go to and she choose the christmas play over me. If she had told me herself that she could not make it that would have been OK. If you had a birthday party and your best friend told you she was coming, but then had her mom call and tell you she could not make it would you be mad? If you was in this situation and your best friend was having a birthday party and you had to be in a play, which would you choose your best frined or a part in a play that you had to perform? If I had to choose I would choose my best friend over any stupid part in a play.

Thanks, hope you can help me.

s_cianci · Dec 24, 2006, 08:26 PM

This is a tough call to make. The fact that her mother did the calling may suggest that her mother had something to do with her "choosing" the play over you. I feel that a lot hinges on which commitment was made first ; the party or the play? Did she accept the invitation to your party prior to agreeing to be in the play? If so then the play should never have been an issue and she should have never considered taking a part in it, knowing that it conflicted with the party invitation that she'd already accepted. If her mother forced her to be in the play then I don't think that was right either and her mother should have realized that she'd already made the commitment to go to your party and insisted that she honor the first commitment made. On the other hand, if she made the commitment to be in the play first, before being invited to your party, then she should have given you her regrets and explained that she'd already made a commitment to this play. Ultimately I think you need to talk about this with her. Tell her how you feel and give her a chance to explain her side of things. There's a lot of different possible scenarios here so hearing her out is the only way to get a grip on the situation.

manimuth · Dec 24, 2006, 08:41 PM

Since she is your best friend, it is important that you tell her how you feel. Let her know that she hurt your feelings. If you have a hard time talking to her in person, write her a letter. Maybe it will turn out to be a big old misunderstanding. It's best to hear her explanation of what happened as well. Hope it all works out. Good luck.

haleyjames · Dec 28, 2006, 11:17 AM

I think you

richsaha2007 · Dec 28, 2006, 02:14 PM

She told you she was coming. I would feel upset as well. Then you find out from her mother? Just talk to her and tell her how you feel. Hopefully she will understand and be more considerate.

J_9 · Dec 28, 2006, 02:33 PM

Oh, sweety, my daughter just had a similar thing happen to her, she is 13 by the way. I am so sorry this hurt your feelings. But let me put it in a different perspective.

Your friend was in the play, if she did not show up they may not have had anyone to take her place (this was the case with my daughter's friend), she had an obligation and responsibility to be in the play.

Maybe, just maybe, she did want to come to your party and her mother told her that she could not because of her responsibility with the play.

If she is your best friend she will be your best friend for a long time, a play only comes once. You can do something special for just the two of you for your birthday.

Yes, it is sad she could not come, but why don't you girls go to the mall, or something special just between the 2 of you to make it up. She might feel bad about it too.

jrussole · Dec 28, 2006, 02:44 PM

Haley, she probably forgot about the play or got her schedule confused. And then she probably didn't want to hurt your feelings, so she asked her Mom to call you. Other people probably relied upon her to be at the play. Or it may have been a commitment that she was unable to break. I bet you had a great birthday, anyway! Happy Birthday!

J_9 · Jan 9, 2007, 06:17 PM

Yes Haley, it does.

I don't understand your disagree

haleyjames disagrees: a special friendship like ours only comes once too.

I was just offering a different perspective, Just maybe a different way to celebrate your birthday.

I know friendships like this are one in a lifetime. My daughter has one too.