[spicegal2]

He had a fling once it happen, it was before we got together which he told me before we start the relationship now the child has arrived I don't know how to feel towards him and the child, we don't have any kids

[lea_09]

The girl that he had a fling with is not part of you and his relationship. This is a group issue basically. So we have a dyhad which turned into a triad because of her baby. It will be hard to adjust to because that is his baby. You can't let it effect your relationship. Just be strong and help him through it. It is not easy being a new parent.

[I wish]

He has to face the consequences of his actions. I'm sorry that you were dragged into it. This is an internal battle for you. His child will always be part of his life. If you can't handle that part about his life, then don't force yourself to.

He comes with a lot of baggage and you can't expect him to throw it all out the door. Either try to find somewhere to fix his baggage or keep him and his baggage out of his life.

[AmericanGirl01]

I'd like to point out to you that the only obligation you have in life, is the obligation for you to be happy. If you’re not happy, you can't make someone else happy. This pretty much means, that you have to set the borderlines for yourself. If you think that finding a way to cope with this baby is too much, than I strongly suggest that you rethink the relationship. I don't think that it would be wise to stay together, because you will always feel too much involved into his past.

However, while this situation will always be an issue, it doesn’t have to be a problem. Communicate your concerns with your boyfriend with the understanding that the situation is very new for him as well.

[chickie543]

If you don't want anything to do with the child, I would suggest leaving him, because he's going to have this child (every weekend or however its worked out) for the next 18years.

[Lucky098]

The baby is part of him and that's all you should be concerned with. He is with you. He wants to share his life, his child, his pain, his happieness WITH YOU. Not the child's mother. Who knows, Maybe you'll fall in love with his baby.

As long as everything happened prior to you, I wouldn't see a need to be too concerned. If you like kids, then what's the problem? Yes, it may seem awkward at times.. Maybe sometimes you won't know what to do.. But I am 100% sure that he is feeling the EXACT way you do.

And you have no obligations to say anything to the child's mother. She's his past that unfortunately has to stay in communication with him. There are tons of people in this world that make these types of situations work. It all comes down to whether you WANT to make it work

[talaniman]

If you can't accept the children your partner has, then you can't accept him.