[Fallen4rmGrace]

The name of this thread is "Will I ever live this down?" Meaning YOU.

It should be " Will my friend ever forgive me?" or " Is my friend plotting revenge after I sexually assaulted him?"

Is it always all about you in your world?

Do you not feel remorse?

Often putting the needs of others before my own, no, everything isn't all about me. Obviously, I feel bad over what I allowed myself to do. Otherwise, I wouldn't have bothered coming here.

[jmjoseph]

Often putting the needs of others before my own, no, everything isn't all about me. Obviously, I feel bad over what I allowed myself to do. Otherwise, I wouldn't have bothered coming here.

But do you feel bad for the guy? Or are you feeling bad because it didn't work out the way you had planned? And got caught?

You either thought that he wasn't going to wake up, or that he would wake up and go along with it. All because he kissed you before.

Just be glad that he isn't going to press charges, or plan an attack on you. And give us a break on which friends you are missing. Or if they think you are rude.

All of this will be in the past one day. I sincerely hope you are serious about going to counseling.

I hope that the victim does too.

[Kitkat22]

Fiirst the excuses about being high when you assaulted your "friend". Now another excuse as to why you have to move back in where he is. It's always going to be about what you want.

I honestly don't know why you keep pushing this. The answer is simple , find another part of town to live in. As for your friends I'm about one-hundred percent sure you told them. Have you ever considered they may want to see you get what's coming to you?

[Fallen4rmGrace]

But do you feel bad for the guy? Or are you feeling bad because it didn't work out the way you had planned? And got caught?

You either thought that he wasn't going to wake up, or that he would wake up and go along with it. All because he kissed you before.

Just be glad that he isn't going to press charges, or plan an attack on you. And give us a break on which friends you are missing. Or if they think you are rude.

All of this will be in the past one day. I sincerely hope you are serious about going to counseling.

I hope that the victim does too.

Once again, I never planned anything. I already stated that, yes, maybe I did subconsciously want it to happen, but I never planned anything out.

Do I feel bad for him? Absolutely! He and I were friends, we looked out for one another, and I betrayed his trust by making stupid decisions. I was molested by my 13-year old cousin when I was merely six years of age, and, even though I have forgiven, I've never forgotten. I don't expect my former friend to welcome me back into his good graces with open arms, not already having some knowledge on similar situations. I've already accepted that I may lose him as a friend, completely.

I'm seeking counseling. In a sense, I was already seeking counseling when I came here, professional or non. I'm used to harsh criticism, and I'd much rather someone give me harsh criticism than sugarcoat their commentary. The reason why I disagreed with KitKat, going off the site rules, is because he/she was, indeed, wrong by saying that I'm asking for trouble and "fanning the flames". I just feel like I'm being made to seem like an all-around bad person when I am not.

[Enigma1999]

jmjoseph is correct, once again... I would give a greenie, have to spread the love.

"Victim" Exacty, because after all, that's what he is... I too hope you get the help you need.

It's good that you see YOU have a problem! Now the next step is to get PROFESSIONAL help!

The next time you feel temptation arise, leave the room! Because next time, may be the last time... You could end up in jail, beaten, or even dead!

Good luck!

[Fallen4rmGrace]

Fiirst the excuses about being high when you assaulted your "friend". Now another excuse as to why you have to move back in where he is. It's always going to be about what you want.

I honestly don't know why you keep pushing this. The answer is simple , find another part of town to live in. As for your friends I'm about one-hundred percent sure you told them. Have you ever considered they may want to see you get what's coming to you?

That's nothing to consider, because I haven't told them. If I had, I wouldn't have to constantly provide reasons as to why I haven't been around, because they'd know the real reason. Again, you're constantly pushing what you *think* is going on with the situation as if it's fact.

[jmjoseph]

Once again, I never planned anything. I already stated that, yes, maybe I did subconsciously want it to happen, but I never planned anything out.

Do I feel bad for him? Absolutely! He and I were friends, we looked out for one another, and I betrayed his trust by making stupid decisions. I was molested by my 13-year old cousin when I was merely six years of age, and, even though I have forgiven, I've never forgotten. I don't expect my former friend to welcome me back into his good graces with open arms, not already having some knowledge on similar situations. I've already accepted that I may lose him as a friend, completely.

I'm seeking counseling. In a sense, I was already seeking counseling when I came here, professional or non. I'm used to harsh criticism, and I'd much rather someone give me harsh criticism than sugarcoat their commentary. The reason why I disagreed with KitKat, going off of the site rules, is because he/she was, indeed, wrong by saying that I'm asking for trouble and "fanning the flames". I just feel like I'm being made to seem like an all-around bad person when I am not.

Good people make bad decisions sometimes. This post here is more heartfelt than the others.

Go get help, and learn from this.

[Kitkat22]

I refuse to argue this. Say what you want. You asked for imput I gave it, "If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen"

I have worked with kids who have been abused and neglected and 99% of them have grown into wonderful mothers and fathers. Sorry it happened to you but by doing what you did to your friend, you are just continuing the cycle.


Really, please get help. I'm sorry for what happened to you . I hope you get help. Okay.

[Fallen4rmGrace]

I refuse to argue this. Say what you want. You asked for imput I gave it,. "If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen"

I have worked with kids who have been abused and neglected and 99% of them have grown into wonderful mothers and fathers. Sorry it happened to you but by doing what you did to your friend, you are just continuing the cycle.

Nothing to argue, really. Just don't act like you know the ins and outs of the entire situation.

Other than that, I agree completely with the second half of your post.

[Alty]

What I don't understand about the whole thing is this; You hear about date rape every time you read the paper or turn on the news. Usually it is a female. I think in this case had it been a female he would be in jail.
However the guy who was raped isn't pressing charges, because more than likely he's ashamed.

I think of all the silent victims male and female who have experienced this same thing and haven't spoken out because they are ashamed. They shouldn't be, it isn't their fault that there are perverts in the world. It isn't because he's gay that I say these things, that's between him and God. I feel sorry for the guy who's the victim.

Speaking from a victims point of view, it's hard to come forward and admit what happened. There is shame involved, male or female, but the major thing for me was guilt.

You're probably wondering what a 5 year old has to feel guilty about when being molested by a teenager. Well, the mind is cruel. I felt that I had somehow brought on her behavior, that I had said something or done something to make her do what she did.

The same is true of the rape. He was a friend of my ex, I let him in my house, he raped me in my very own bed. Yes, I said no. Yes, I fought him, but still, I let him in the house. Guilt.

One thing I know for sure, and it's a sad fact, victims of sexual assault that do take their assailants to court, well most times they're made to look like the bad guy, not the victim. Everything you've done, worn, said, every action is scrutinized. It's the job of the scumbags lawyer to make it look like you wanted it, you asked for it.

The rapes we hear about are a tiny percent of the actual people being raped each year. Most of us live in silence.

[Lucky098]

From what I understand from reading bits and pieces of this thread.. You're moving into the SAME apt. building?? WHY?? You might as well buy the bullets, load the gun and hand it to your former friend.

That's a pretty dumb move if that is indeed what is going on. Your former friend, if feeling threatened or uncomfortable, is going to get you for stalking him.

You need to take blame for your actions whole heartedly. You need to find a job that will take you away from this situation completely, if not for anyone else but yourself. Why do you want to antagnoize yourself? If you feel bad for what you have done, why do you want to look your mistake in the face every day as a huge, ugly reminder that you ruined your friendship by making a dumb move?

If I were in your shoes, I'd probably leave town for awhile and start a new life else where. I don't know if you're an active gay man, but you don't think that your former buddy isn't going to confide with someone who he trusts within your circle of friends? That's almost guaranteed.

How about you make this less painful for YOURSELF and just leave it alone and leave. You made the choices, now you have to live with the consequences.

[Kitkat22]

Please take the advice and do what is right. You know what the right thing is.

[talaniman]

You have stepped in a hornets nest for sure, not just by your actions, but even in coming here, but I give you props for staying and listening.

I think you will try to do the right thing by yourself, and others, and hope it works out.

Not an easy path to take, but I think you have made a major step in that direction because a lot of people can't even admit their mistakes, so end up repeating them, and hurt someone else.

You have a chance not to be one of those, so don't blow it.

[Kitkat22]

You have stepped in a hornets nest for sure, not just by your actions, but even in coming here, but I give you props for staying and listening.

I think you will try to do the right thing by yourself, and others, and hope it works out.

Not an easy path to take, but I think you have made a major step in that direction because a lot of people can't even admit their mistakes, so end up repeating them, and hurt someone else.

You have a chance not to be one of those, so don't blow it.

Listen to this advice. You need help!