[fluffyT]

My boyfriend of 6 years recently decided to start seeing someone behind my back, I guess (from what she says) they were dating for 1 week and then she moved in with him. He was still loving towards me, calling me, coming over, hanging out and then one day I had this feeling something wasn't right so I went to his house. She answered the door, he came outside and when I asked who she was and what was going on that's when he told me they were together. He didn't want me to find out, he tried telling me they were only friends, that he loves me he's just confussed, he said that he doesn't know what he wants but if he decides that he wants me then it will be for life, so I told him if that was true he needed to follow me back to my apartment so we can talk. Needless to say, he didn't come over. The next day, she called me and we talked for about 30 minutes comparing stories. She told me she was sorry, she didn't know he was with me. She also said that she knows he's a liar but she wants to stay with him so he can take care of her and her 2 year old (not his kid). So not only did I lose the man I love, I know she's using him and will probably one day hurt him and there's nothing I can do about it. He and I have bills, cars, credit cards and bank accounts together so I tried contacting him to see if we can settle all these things, again, he said he'd come over to take care of it but never showed. It has been 2 1/2 weeks since this all happened, I contacted him the first 2 days, but not since. His friends keep telling me that I was the best thing that ever happened to him and one day he will realize what he lost and try to come back to me. How likely is it that he will try to contact me again? Remember, he has her living with him but yet he won't settle our affairs and make a clean break. What should I do? I am starting to pull myself together, that's not to say that I don't miss him and want him back but I am making a huge effort to go on with my life. Like I said I haven't contacted him in 2 weeks, I finally stopped crying daily, I joined a gym to help with the stress and I have started talking to old friends more freguently. But I would really like to know what to do know and what are the chances of him contacting me?

[XxUntouchablexX]

You are definitely on your way to healing yourself. Friends are the best thing when you need support like this and you should definitely listen to them. You're better off without him for two reasons: once a guy cheats he is much more likely to cheat in the future, and you will never be able to trust him again. Every time he goes out or doesn't come home on time, you will wonder. Every girl deserves someone who will adore them. It's a really unfortunate situation but once you overcome this, the sky will seem a little bluer and the grass a little greener. Be strong and good luck.

[amicon]

You seen to have taken a number of right steps towards your healing,so well done!
Leave your ex in the past and let him sort out his own emotional messes.

Regarding the finances,if there is a lot of money at stake I suggest you contact your lawyer.

[fluffyT]

Thanks to both of you, the biggest problem is his truck (I think). It has both of our names on it, I had signed the title but he still has not changed it with the DMV. The insurance is in my name so I'm stuck with that bill. I talked to the police and they said if something happens, I am responsible. I'm not sure how to handle this, when we first broke up, I tried to contact him and he wouldn't answer. I did leave a message asking to sort this out but he never responded. I could have the license plates suspended, take the truck, or leave it alone for a bit longer and see what happens with us (like I said before it has only been 2 1/2 weeks). I know that right now, a mutual friend is borrowing the truck so if I suspend the plates and he gets stopped by the police I will feel horrible. At the same time though, if he gets in an accident or something, legally, I'm responsible. Any suggestions on what to do? I really don't want to do any harm to anyone, and I don't want to jeoperdize us possibly getting back together.

[redhed35]

Protecting your own credit rating and any legal proceeding against you should be a prioity..

Don't worry about hurting anyone's feeling,if their a good friend they will understand.

As regarding your boyfriend,he is living with another women,cheated on you,lied to you,now he is still causing problems as regards not sorting out the financial end of things.

This guy is not the nice guy he makes himself out to be,he was a coward,don't you deserve a better man then that.

[Newguy2009]

Who's name is first on the car loan? This is just a suggestion and something that worked for me. My ex took the car out of state. My name was first so I went to the bank and did a Re finance in just my name. Got the title, sent her an email proving I had the title and told her that If my car wasn't at XYZ location at XYZ time that I would report it stolen and she would face GTA charges. She responded peacefully and I got the car back.

Im not saying rush out and do this but If this joker isn't responding to your business demands, It might be an option. Good luck!

[fluffyT]

He completely paid for the truck, I never paid a penny towards it. My name is first on the title and then his, I signed the back of the title giving him the truck, yet he never changed it over. I have kept the insurance in case something were to happen, but like the police said... If something were to happen, they could still hold me responsible. I'm not sure if I'm just stupid, but even after all this I want nothing bad to happen to him. I just called his credit card and they let me take my name off the card but his bills will still be coming to my place (they said he'd have to call to change that info). I called the bank and they said I can go in and close the account, his mobile phone ( which I took back the day I caught him) contract doesn't expire till May so I am going to be stuck with that till then but at least he isn't using it. The only thing that will be left is the truck and insurance... should I try to give him warning that the plates will be suspended, should I wait a bit longer (since I do have insurance)?

[redhed35]

You need to make a few more calls.

Ring the post office and have his post forwarded to his new address.

Ring the mobile company and cancel the phone,he may say he is not using it,but there will still be charges on the phone.

He's a big boy now,if he can move on with his life,would it not stand to reason that he takes all of his old life with him,including the bills.

He has no pity for you.

I'm not saying to be mean about it,but he's an adult,the nicer you are about it,the more he is going to let things slide.

Ring the insurance company and find out exacty where you stand and what can be done.

No more miss nice girl when it comes to protecting yourself.

[fluffyT]

I do have physical possession of his phone. The insurance company said if I take the truck off now I will lose the multi-car discount therefore I would only be saving about $10 a month, they said it would be better if I wait till my new policy in April. I just contacted the mutual friend that is currently driving the truck, he said my ex is selling him the truck and asked me to give him a little time before I do anything.
Breaking up is so hard... I do have confidence in myself though (thanks to you guys and my friends) that I will get through this and become stronger with each day that passes but what if his friends are right and he does try to come back down the road... how do I handle that when I'm sure I will always feel love for this man that was once my world?

[redhed35]

it takes a lot of work for a couple to recoup broken trust.

I don't believe in once a cheater always a cheater,but what I do believe in,is intrigity,and courage,and mutual respect,this man showed you none of that and fed you a line.

breakups are hard,and you sound like decent nice women,don't let him set the relationship bar so low for you,aim higher..

you will learn a lot form this,and can put it to good use.

relationships need more then the love of one person to work,he does not love you nor want you,don't offer him what he places no value on.

[fluffyT]

Heading off to the bank, hope the really do let me close the account. I tried once before and they said we both had to sign the signature card but when I called customer service today they said that wasn't true...

[redhed35]

heading off to the bank, hope the really do let me close the account. I tried once befor and they said we both had to sign the signature card but when I called customer service today they said that wasn't true.....

Good luck,and remember its about protecting your future now,let him worry about his own.

[talaniman]

You seem like such a nice person to have such a lowlife treating you badly. You deserve better.

Just glad your handling your business to protect yourself, and frankly that ten bucks saving on the insurance isn't worth it as we never know what will happen. Take your name off his truck insurance, and let the driver of it handle his business. Why should you be at risk??

Good luck, and keep losers out of your life. Yes he is a lying, cheating loser, so let him be used by this new girl, but under no circumstances, give him a chance to hurt you again.

[fluffyT]

Thanks to all of you and your guidance and support. I just closed the bank account, no problem. I don't want to let him hurt me again, I am just so scared if he contacts me before I'm strong enough I will look at him and my heart will melt all over. I know I deserve better, I can honestly say that in the 6 years the only thing I'm guilty of is flirting with my regular customers, LOVING MY MAN TOO MUCH and getting emotional when he didn't spend enough time with me. Even he has told me that he will never meet anyone like me and he has commented that I love him too much.

[talaniman]

To bad he couldn't do the same for you, just remember that.