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Wondergirl · Dec 16, 2009, 01:08 AM

It's to a.m. here in Chicagoland and time for some beauty sleep. I didn't intend to be cruel, but wanted you to look at your situation realistically. Others will chime in as they wake up and turn on their computers. I look forward to reading other responses in the morning.

AmExp · Dec 16, 2009, 01:08 AM

Oh and your stock in the dating/relationship game is over once the face goes. The chances of finding a guy are dramatically decreased.

AmExp · Dec 16, 2009, 01:10 AM

Ok. Well thank you for your input. I do look forward to seeing some fresh opinions (if any).

Wondergirl · Dec 16, 2009, 01:12 AM

Originally Posted by AmExp

NEVER. Not sure what your genes are, but I dont have that in my DNA. Do you moisturize your face? That should NOT be happening at 30. Maybe the fact that I dont have a job makes a difference? I have no kids. Stress is ultra low?

I inherited excellent genes from my mom who at 85 looks like she's 60. I'm told I look half my age. If you have a job and children and take care of a home and pets and endure the usual amount of stress, your face and body will gradually change. But then there's a beauty that is in every age. One doesn't have to be in her mid-20s to be beautiful. Also, beauty is more than skin deep.

Good night.

Originally Posted by AmExp

Oh and your stock in the dating/relationship game is over once the face goes. The chances of finding a guy are dramatically decreased.

Oh, my dear! That is not true at all! What have you been reading and who have you been listening to??

thisonedude · Dec 16, 2009, 01:26 AM

There's plenty of dudes out there who will buy you all the stuff you want. And who "look good" . Go dig somewhere else.

AmExp · Dec 16, 2009, 06:48 AM

I never said I am looking for someone to "buy me stuff'"... that was an unnecessary comment. Gosh, I guess people never read anymore.

spitvenom · Dec 16, 2009, 07:20 AM

There is no doubt about it he is a controlling guy. How he rips apart the nice necklace you got for graduation just shows he thinks he has to buy you bigger and better things to show he loves you and that's sad cause that ain't love.

They way he talks to you about going out makes him sound like a knuckle dragging Neanderthal. I'm married my wife can go out to any lounge or bar she wants without me. I trust her and I know for a fact she would never do anything. And if I would say to my wife you are a slut or a whore because she wants to go to a bar with friends she would laugh at me and give me the finger on her way out the door! You should stand up for yourself when you want to go out and have some fun. Meet some new people this guy is your entire life it is not healthy at all.

AmExp · Dec 16, 2009, 08:34 AM

Thanks Spitvenom. I am confused because I am in the process of job hunting and I say to him sometimes that I am eager to meet knew people and make some friends. He seems encouraging and supportive. He will even chime in and say, "Don't worry, once you get a job you will meet new people." So it doesn't appear as though he is against my growth. I just have a feeling that if I were to come home and suddenly say I meet some new people and we want to go out for dinner (without him) there would be a SERIOUS problem. Furthermore, he prefers that if I meet up acquaintances it should be a coffee shop, an afternoon lunch, or the mall. Something that doesn't require doing much at night. He doesn't trust random men around m. Yet, he claims he trusts me... (rolls eyes)

spitvenom · Dec 16, 2009, 09:15 AM

It is funny how in peoples minds going out at night is a date but going out during the day is just friends. I don't know how he would react. I would assume if you did go out to eat with a new friend he would say something like oh that restaurant is horrible or why are you going there etc... Kind of like he does with the necklace.

AmExp · Dec 16, 2009, 10:03 AM

Yes, you are probably right. :( Why all the control then! He is a VERY handsome guy

spitvenom · Dec 16, 2009, 10:17 AM

I don't know why he would be so controlling. Maybe it is a power trip to have control over someone else. Maybe he is insecure about him being 14 years older then you and is afraid some younger guy is going to come in and sweep you off you feet. It could be anything really.

sabrewolfe · Dec 16, 2009, 10:19 AM

Originally Posted by AmExp

Yes, you are probably right. :( Why all the control then!? He is a VERY handsome guy

Because he is insecure with himself.

Wondergirl · Dec 16, 2009, 10:49 AM

Originally Posted by AmExp

Yes, you are probably right. :( Why all the control then!? He is a VERY handsome guy

"Handsome" doesn't mean anything. Don't you know anyone who isn't pretty or handsome but is someone you enjoy being with because he or she makes you feel special 100% of the time?

From how you describe him, any woman who knows him and has any amount of maturity wouldn't walk across the street to say hello to him. He is not handsome inside and devalues everything around him just so he looks good (but doesn't).

AmExp · Dec 16, 2009, 11:46 AM

On the contrary, women FLOCK to my boyfriend. We/he gets a lot of attention when we go out. In fact, we got many things for free because he is so charming and sweet to people. Most of the female (and sometimes male) servers/cashiers LOVE him. I step back and enjoy the freebies. He is respectful in front of me... doesn't flirt or anything. Harmless.

I definitely have some less "attractive" friends. I look for the person inside not what they look like on the outside. I am not sure why he is so insecure. I think he is better looking then me (sometimes he says I am better looking then him). Who knows. Apparently I try to make him jealous?

sabrewolfe · Dec 16, 2009, 11:55 AM

I definitely have some less "attractive" friends. I look for the person inside not what they look like on the outside. I am not sure why he is so insecure. I think he is better looking then me (sometimes he says I am better looking then him). Who knows. Apparently I try to make him jealous?

Who knows? Well who cares?
What wondergirl is trying to tell you is that he is not so attractive on the inside. The outside of a person is just the cover of a book. And sometimes it's just a front. On the outside he may look like a very confident man, but on the inside is a whole other story. He's not so confident in himself, and shows acts of desperation. Understand?
He's very insecure with himself. That's why he is so controlling. Not a very attractive quality at all.

thisonedude · Dec 16, 2009, 12:03 PM

I wasn't trying to be rude, just seems like those are the only good poitns he has.

AmExp · Dec 16, 2009, 12:11 PM

This is all interesting guys... people love this guy ( yes he is a braggart at times ( typical jock type of guy). However, I treat him like a KING. I clean his house, cook, do the grocery shopping, take care of the dog, load the dish washer, do the laundry. I pitch in where I can because I am basically living with him rent free ( yes, I have my own place) but we like spending time together ( a lot of time). Anyway, everyone thinks he is the sweets most caring person. He claims the reason he is mean to me sometimes is because I disrespect him and talk back... hmmmm

amicon · Dec 16, 2009, 01:20 PM

You treat him like a king,do all the housework and he's mean to you because you disrespect him and talk back?
He's beyond controlling,he's emotionally abusive.
Whatever his issues are,and the reasons for his behaviour are,you shouldn't put up with any of this.
Never mind that he is, according to a previous post of yours, a sweet talker and sexy.
Personally I would walk,no run.

spitvenom · Dec 16, 2009, 01:34 PM

So what is it that you do that he finds so disrespectful that he has to be mean to you? Personally if I were you I wouldn't do a damn thing for him. You have your own place which is your responsibility he has his own place which is his responsibility stop doing anything for him. If he doesn't like it simply stand up and go home.

AmExp · Dec 16, 2009, 02:27 PM

I have! MANY TIMES! We have broken up at least 6 times. However, what usually happens is by the time I get home we make up and I drive back to his place. Sometimes I just say I will see him in the morning. Our break ups have never lasted more than a day. I do things for him because I enjoy it, but only when it's appreciated.