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shifes · Sep 30, 2009, 06:06 AM

My four year girlfriend brokeup with me suddenly. Her reason was she like me but she can't love me. How can this happen?

redhed35 · Sep 30, 2009, 06:14 AM

I'm sorry to say but it happens all the time...

I doubt that she never loved you,perhaps there were some problems that just piled on and in the end she just left...

That does not ease the shock and hurt your feeling,and over the next few weeks things will emerge that may further hurt and shock you... you need a few days to gather yourself.

Tell friends and family what has happened,you need support...

You don't give any details about your relationship,that's OK,sometimes there are no details.. but you can be sure,that she did not break things up on the spur of the moment,she has thought about this for a while.

I wish · Sep 30, 2009, 06:15 AM

I'm really sorry for your lose. Sometimes feelings change. It's not something you did or didn't do, it's a natural occurrence. You're just going to have to respect her feelings.

talaniman · Sep 30, 2009, 08:04 AM

It happens all the time, when, for whatever reason, the feelings change about your partner.

Tinkerbell2004 · Oct 4, 2009, 12:28 AM

Things like that do happen all the other time, as said by the others. I myself was the girl leaving my boyfriend of four years. I can honestly say that I didn't love him. He was a nice enough guy && we usually got along, but after a while of being with him, it just became a daily routine I lived with, I never really considered it going anywhere, but for the time, it was nice just having someone to turn to.

I'm guessing redhead is right, your girlfriend was probably thinking it over for a while && in her mind building up any little thing that has ever bothered her about you && made it a bigger thing in her head then it actually was. Girls tend to dwell on things longer then they let on.

This wasn't either of your faults, it happens.

Good luck!

gurinderc · Oct 4, 2009, 03:31 AM

I don't have any answer but exactly same happened to me, its over 2 months and still confused what I did wrong, it was all nice and lovely but suddenly...

I try to get answer over the time from her (atleast ask the question more than few times) but told me she don't feel it to be answered and question me why I need to know?

I give up now and entered into NC, for the best of all involved.

shifes · Oct 10, 2009, 02:10 AM

Originally Posted by Tinkerbell2004

Things like that do happen all the other time, as said by the others. I myself was the girl leaving my boyfriend of four years. I can honestly say that I didn't love him. He was a nice enough guy && we usually got along, but after a while of being with him, it just became a daily routine I lived with, I never really considered it going anywhere, but for the time, it was nice just having someone to turn to.

I'm guessing redhead is right, your girlfriend was probably thinking it over for a while && in her mind building up any little thing that has ever bothered her about you && made it a bigger thing in her head then it actually was. Girls tend to dwell on things longer then they let on.

This wasn't either of your faults, it happens.

Good luck!

Thanks for your comment, It helped me a lot.

I didn't mention the details in my question. We both had strong affiliatoin for our religion because of this we had decided to abstain from pre-marital sex. We were not together for about three years because of education. But we almost daily communicate through phone calls and meet in the summer and semister breaks. 10 days before we brockup we met and discussed about our marriage ceremony that we are going to do after a months. She also told me that she longs for that speclial. Lots of promises. She also accepted my gifts, I bought her clothes as usually I did. Then I returned to a city where I work. It is then when I ring her to say hi - she told me the news- "I'm thlinking to breaking up with u". When I ask her why? Replied generally "we can't be friends". Why you stayed until now? I was trying to love you but I couldn't that's why I staid. That day on I stopt callling her. I got mad. It has been about 20 days since we brockup but it is still a nightmare to me. I did not expected this from a claiming christian Girl.

talaniman · Oct 10, 2009, 07:12 AM

What!? A nice Christian girl can't change her mind? Feeling change all the time, it has nothing to do with religion.

Tinkerbell2004 · Oct 11, 2009, 04:07 PM

I'm happy my comment helped.

At the time you bought her the gifts she probably wasn't sure exactly what she wanted to do so just decided to let things continue on as they always had. She probably hadn't made up her mind on anything at that point, && figured if she had refused the gifts you would have thought something was wrong && she would have to explain herself. But at that point it probably wasn't something she was able to explain, because she herself had no idea what she was going to do.

You can't dwell on the past, live in the now, && live towards the future.