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silvermouse · Oct 13, 2006, 07:39 AM

I want to live with my mother and my parents won't go to court and my father is agenst me living with her. She has a boyfriend that is very nice and has a job as does she. How old do I have to be to decide? My father has a wife and she is a BITC* I can't stand her! I hate the school I am at and he (my father) is over protective and I can't stand it I am 15 and I cannot vistit my friends houses! My mother understands what it is like to be a teenage girl and my dose not understand! I want to live with my mother!:mad: :confused: :eek: I would do so much better at my mothers I would be able to participate in after school activitys! I would not have to fight every night (not physcally)

RickJ · Oct 13, 2006, 08:03 AM

So your father has custody per the court?
Your mother needs to pursue this. Are you saying she won't?

Krs · Oct 13, 2006, 08:03 AM

What does your mum say about this?

LUNAGODDESS · Oct 14, 2006, 02:38 PM

Honey Silvermouse, are you 16 years of age... go to the courts yourself and find out what you can do about your future yourself... they will give you the law and rules... do not think that living with mother will mean all things will be groovy, cool, and or a totally sick situation...

Wow... Silvermouse that desires to be Golden Mouse... Wow... talk this over with your mother and her boyfriend
... living with your mother and her boyfriend is not a good situation
... there are going to be problems with you living amongst them... it is only natural...

Take your time... the step mother was your father's choice in a mate... and he did not think to include you in his tha decision... that was a selfish move on your father's part...

Out of your own words you are in misery...

The same will happen in your mother situation... you are not your mother boyfriend's child...

There is a limit of what he will tolerate... you may step into an over protective male situation... this man's position will be to stop you from becoming the next wild thing on the block and will do all that is necessary to prevent that situation... are you ready for this... meaning his input in your life... think about it... contact mother... make sure she understands that you will someday say to her too... either it is me or him...

Your father and mother in my opinion had no business living or marrying any one until you had graduated from high School...

J_9 · Oct 14, 2006, 03:01 PM

You may start with talking to a counselor at school, most of them are familiar with situations like this.

If you live in the States you should be of age to decide where you want to live. Most states here in the U.S. allow a child to choose at 13.

s_cianci · Oct 14, 2006, 07:03 PM

Your father is trying to protect you. As a teenage girl you are very vulnerable and you father understands this, probably more so than your mother. Remember, fathers were once teenage boys and they know all the tricks that people use to try to take advantage of young girls. I'm a father of girls myself, including a teenager, and a former teenage boy so I know what I'm talking about. I do believe that my wife is much more naïve about these things, not being able to look at then from a man's point of view. Now I'm not suggesting that living with your mother wouldn't be a good thing for you to do but I'm not sure you want it for the right reasons. I actually believe that young girls need the influence of their father in their lives, even more than they need their mother's. I assume that you at least have visitation with your mother and that's a good thing. But as I commented on Lunagoddess' post above, the grass is seldom greener on the other side. I think you may be getting yourself into the trap of thinking that it is and that's a bad mistake to make.

silvermouse · Oct 17, 2006, 07:37 AM

Originally Posted by Krs

what does your mum say about this?

She wants me to live with her obously but every time she goes to cort my dad says some cock-of-bull stuff and the coart beleves it... though its not true ,so she will not go back to coart and I want to tell the coarts I where I want to live but I want to make sure when I tell them it will happen because as soon as my father here's about it I will have to go threw a lot of arguing. I understand where he is coming from but I can't Take it anymore I want out!

Originally Posted by RickJ

So your father has custody per the court?
Your mother needs to pursue this. Are you saying she wont?

She cannot go back to coart again because every time she dose she loses because of the lies my father pelts the coarts with. Her and I are both sick of It! She told me that I am old enuf to make up my own mind and my father says the same when my decision goes his way! I am trying to get some extra information.

LUNAGODDESS · Oct 17, 2006, 08:29 AM

What court does not listen to the issues that you have brought to their attention... most courts allow children when they come of age to make a decision on which parent they want to leave with... I do not understand the courts position if this was the issue... go to legal aid society in your city... they may be able to help you with your situation...

K_3 · Oct 17, 2006, 08:48 AM

How long have your parents been divorced? Does your father have full custody and your mother just visitation rights? At age 15 the courts should listen to your wishes.
Children need both parents but unfortunately that is not always the case. I do believe when a mother is able and a fit mother she should have the children most of the time. She is the nurturing one and especially with a daughter, there are things only she can explain to her. A father would just not know where to begin. If you want it, with your moms help you will accomplish it.

silvermouse · Oct 19, 2006, 07:13 AM

Originally Posted by K_3

How long have your parents been divorced? Does your father have full custody and your mother just visitation rights? At age 15 the courts should listen to your wishes.
Children need both parents but unfortunately that is not always the case. I do believe when a mother is able and a fit mother she should have the children most of the time. She is the nuturing one and especially with a daughter, there are things only she can explain to her. A father would just not know where to begin. If you want it, with your moms help you will accomplish it.

They have been devorced sense I was about 3 my mom used to have custidy of me till my dad threw a fit that's how I see it my mom is my mom and no matter how hard my dad tries he can't tell me motherly stuff...

andrewcocke · Oct 19, 2006, 06:18 PM

Teenagers need a parent for a parent, not a friend for a parent.

Im not claiming to know the situation, Im 26 years old now and have my own step daughter who is 7. Once I sort of felt the same way you did, then I became a parent overnight. Suddenly I get along with my parents a whole lot better.

As long as your father is not being abusive, you must ask yourself, "are his proposals and rules going to hurt me or help me?"

Honestly, if I said what I wanted to say, you would only accuse me of siding with your father, when that's not what I really want to imply since I don't know the man, or the given situation, but I will say, that I hope you take a moment to calm down, think about it, try to understand where your father is coming from.

If he is just being downright unreasonable in your opinion than you will have to decide what to do. The fact is that you have 3 more years to go before you can make a move anywhere without the say so of the court.

You have to understand, that as a minor, you do not belong to your mother, or your father, you don't belong to yourself. You belong to the state, all minors belong to the state, they reign surpreme over what happens to you, just like my 7 year old.

If you, your mother, and your father have all pleaded your case in front of a judge, and yet this judge still awarded custody to your father, then legally he must really be doing something right.

Also remember, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I'll bet you money there are rules at moms house too, if not then there is a problem.