[sunju]

Hello,
I met the most amazing girl 7 years ago she gave everything and all the things for me past 7yrs she showed me what it feels liked to be loved and she knew that I loved her as much as she loved me. But all of sudden and out of nowhere she decide to get married with someone else. Why? She still tell me she cares aboutme. Is she lying?she told me she was tired of long distance relatioship. I thought there is nothing comes between love.why the distance came between my love.
Did she ever loved me that last 7yrs? Or was she just playing with me?
Why she hurt me this bad she knows that I am badly hurt.
Why love changed so fast?
Is there true love?

I want to move on but I see no way out . I wake up 2am from deep sleeep and starting think about her I wake up 5 am and first thing in my mind is her . I know she is gone but why I still think about her how can I get rid of this thing. I tell myself now I will forget about her but every time I try it gets harder and harder.sometime I get very very upset and mad about her for what she did to me but my heart melts like butter for her and I just fall right back to the same trap on her love.
I promised her that I will never marry anyone beside her she did the same . Now days I could not even look at any other woman I feel like it will only brings pain and hurt.
Can anyone tell me why she did this to me?
Why still wake up and pray for her happiness. Which I know now she did not care for my happiness.
Why do get upset and mad about this?Sometime I really lose all my think and really get mad myself.

Everyday and every minutes I still pray and wishes for her happiness. But why I feel like that. Is there anything out there for me now?

[J_9]

I am assuming this was an internet relationship? If that is the case, then many internet relationships of a great distance are fake in nature.

It sounds as though she was most likely seeing someone all along if she is to be married soon.

I know this hurts you. Break ups of any kind hurt. But you have to pick yourself up and meet people in the flesh rather than on a screen.

Go to a gym, a library, any place with many people. Focus on making you happy now by keeping yourself busy.

[JoeCanada76]

Long distance relationship, Guess what you could and she could make all the promises in the world. When it comes down to it. If the long distance continues and continues and continues and there does not seem to be something stronger, both of you making moves to become closer and to not make it long distance anymore. If that does not happen. You can not expect somebody to continue with that.

Yes, it may hurt. It is also a learning experience. It is good that you pray for her happiness and that is very important. You need to remember that whether you believe it or not. She did love you and care for you and wants you to be happy as well.

You need to move on. You need to find happiness with yourself. Then you will eventually meet other people and someday marry a girl that is meant for you. Obvously after 7 years of a long distance relationship for that long you can not expect somebody to continue this way of living forever.

I know what I am talking about. Long distance is very stressful and it is hard to keep strong with each other if you are not spending time with each other or even making an effort to make a move so each other is a lot closer.

Continue to pray for her happiness. You also need to pray for your life, your happiness, your path in life. How you trust in God that he will take care of you and this experience will be a learning lesson. Then you move on and experience something new and something even greator and more beautiful.

Joe

[CaliforniaOrange]

Hello,
I met the most amazing girl 7 years ago she gave everything and all the things for me past 7yrs she showed me what it feels liked to be loved and she knew that I loved her as much as she loved me. but all of sudden and out of nowhere she decide to get married with someone else. why? she still tell me she cares aboutme. is she lieing?she told me she was tired of long distance relatioship. I thought there is nothing comes between love.why the distance came between my love.
did she ever loved me that last 7yrs? or was she just playing with me?
why she hurt me this bad she knows that I am badly hurt.
why love changed so fast?
Is there true love?

I want to move on but I see no way out . I wake up 2am from deep sleeep and starting think about her I wake up 5 am and first thing in my mind is her . I know she is gone but why I still think about her how can I get rid of this thing. I tell myself now I will forget about her but everytime i try it gets harder and harder.sometime I get very very upset and mad about her for what she did to me but my heart melts like butter for her and I just fall right back to the same trap on her love.
I promised her that I will never marry anyone beside her she did the same . now days I could not even look at any other woman I feel like it will only brings pain and hurt.
Can anyone tell me why she did this to me?
why still wake up and pray for her happiness.? Which I know now she did not care for my happiness.
why do get upset and mad about this?Sometime I really lose all my think and really get mad myself.

everyday and every minutes I still pray and wishes for her happiness. But why I feel like that. Is there anything out there for me now?

Let me ask you this, how was your relationship with yourself before this women came into your life?

And

Have you been investing into your own emotional bank account these past 7 yrs? Sounds to me like you are not ready to really ask yourself what your part in all of this was.

However I could be wrong, people are impossible to control,and often times unpredictable.

Try to find the purpose in why you two may have been together for those 7 years and try to learn as much as you can about what it is that you plan to do differently the next time you are in a relationship.

Lastly, you sound like someone who is dealing with some emotional problems and possibly anger issues. There are many good books out there, don't hesitate to learn about yourself more during this time... and best of luck.

[chuff]

I'm not sure I understood all of your original post but let me ask you this question. If you were with this woman for seven years why didn't you marry her? Was it ever discussed? My guess is that she was seeing this other person for some time and when marriage came up in that relationship she took it. If she had been seeing you for 7 years and you never talked about it then she probably figured it was never going to happen.

[momincali]

Are you being very honest with yourself that you never saw this coming? Hard to imagine that you could know someone for that many years and not know something of this magnitude was on its way. If you ignored those feelings just cause they made you feel bad or uneasy, it didn't make it go away. 7 years is a long time to wait for something to happen. I agree with Chuff, if you loved her you should have proposed marriage to her within a couple of years.

[CaliforniaOrange]

To: Jesushelper76
You can't learn more about yourself by reading a book written by another person? Books change people's perspectives don't they? I've learned a great deal about "symptoms" if you will, from books on relationships, etc... but we can agree to disagree :-) and I wasn't directly connecting books and learning about one's self... moreover reading, applying new techniques/perspectives and then growing in area's not known prior.

[JoeCanada76]

Hello CaliforniaOrange,

Agree to disagree. Joe all smiles. This person that is asking the question is of a different language. So things might be very confusing. See the questionnaire might be thinking he needs to read books in order to figure himself out. Or like you just clarified. Gives him other ideas on how to deal with different situations in his life.

Joe

[talaniman]

7 years is an awful long time to carry on a long distance relationship and not have it move forward so the two of you could get closer. That in itself is odd, since people in love tend to move heaven and earth to be together. Sorry I cannot see it possible for a healthy relationship to last that long with no progess being made. Somebody is fooling themselves here and trying to move the blame away from themselves or is leaving out a lot of facts. Either way a grip on reality is needed because it raises an eyebrow how you go that long and invest so much emotion into some one who isn't there. Its over, accept it, and get on with life.

[s_cianci]

You say you were together for 7 years. You also suggest that this was a "long distance relationship." Unfortunately I don't think there ever was much to this "relationship." I think you had a totally false idea of what really existed between you two. People don't just "all of a sudden and out of nowhere" decide to marry someone else. She was obviously building a life with this other person and not with you. You, on the other hand, had a totally different impression. Why she wasn't honest and upfront with you about it is another question for which I don't have an answer. I'm sorry, but this is over and never really was anything to begin with. You're going to have to move on with your life, without her being a part of it. I know 7 years is a long time but I honestly think you had misgivings from the start.