Check out some similar questions!

crazyoverher · Mar 20, 2009, 04:24 PM

All right everybody... update:

I just spoke to our mutual friend and before he said anything.. I told him that I didn't want to her ANYTHING about what she had to say or about what she wrote in her "long" letter.

I told him that I said ALL that I needed to in my letters to her.

He seemed kind of surprised but he respected my wishes and didn't talk about her. I got to admit I was nervous and I really didn't want to talk to him but I did.

I of course, told her that I loved her.. damnit. And then he told me to my objection.. that she said that she loves me too. O brother.

Anyway... that the update... im SURE she's going to be surprised that I didn't want to know what her letter said... also... he told me that she was asking him... "have you talked to him yet? hows he doing".. etc...

He told me that she is going to lose her job in 2 weeks.. they are shutting down her office due to the economy!

Comments guys!!

talaniman · Mar 20, 2009, 04:56 PM

Round and round we go, where we end up at, nobody knows. Leave it alone. The advice doesn't change just because she gives you a bone.

crazyoverher · Mar 20, 2009, 06:23 PM

yeah... she does give me a bone... F^*K!

well at least I got it over with... I don't have to talk to our friend too much anymore.. and of course I don't have to deal with her either.

round and round... I hear you.

crazyoverher · Mar 20, 2009, 06:50 PM

Yeah... seems like she is trying to make me hold on to her through our friend... telling me those things through him... he** she probably loves her last BF too.. u know? Doesn't mean that she wants to get with him or me. I'm upset but mostly at myself for feeling like that with her... im going to hang tough... fyi.

crazyoverher · Mar 20, 2009, 07:47 PM

Know what people?

I've really been thinking about everything... "yesterday" today... tomorrow...

As much as I want to... I just can't "hate" her for what she's put me through...

I don't want to be angry anymore. Ill keep everyone posted on what happens.. dont know what will... im sure our friend will talk to me soon... so ull know...

Tonight, I forgive her.

crazyoverher · Mar 20, 2009, 07:49 PM

And let her go.

heartbroke · Mar 20, 2009, 08:42 PM

It just sounds to me like you've been entertaining a crowd of.. wait there was no crowd. going round and round, but finally you are seeing the picture.

starlite1 · Mar 21, 2009, 05:31 AM

Hi Crazy,

That is fine that you don't hate her. That shows that you are a stand up guy who knows how to love, and that is a great quality and shows a lot of positives about you! You are doing the right thing here by having no contact and minimal contact with your mutual friend. It is better for you that way. Good for you!

talaniman · Mar 21, 2009, 05:39 AM

Originally Posted by crazyoverher

and let her go.

You have said that before. Words mean nothing, without the actions, to back them up!

starlite1 · Mar 21, 2009, 05:44 AM

Tal is right, you need to let her go and really move on from her.

crazyoverher · Mar 21, 2009, 10:08 PM

Well everyone.. wanted you to know that I had a fun time today hanging out with m friends.

I thought that I "Might" want to take their advice and "do it" with a girl I meet at the club... but... as much as I wanted to feel "it" again... I didn't do it.

Not because of HER... and that I feel obligated to her or anything, but because I didn't feel it in my heart. What a wussy huh? Lol. :(

Anyway, just wanted everyone to know how I was doing...

kctiger · Mar 22, 2009, 07:40 AM

All right, lets get something clear: There is nothing "wussy" about not having sex with a girl.

Look, to me, and a few other guys on here (Rome as well) sex is a bit more that just meaningless physical contact. Just because you don't have sex with random girls you meet doesn't make you a "wuss." Do it when you are ready, and I promise you, if you do it just to "get back on the horse" or just to make your friends happy, you will feel like sh!t. Don't treat a girl like an object that is there just to help you get your manhood back. Be more classy than that.

When I was going through this, I found that just a good conversation with an attractive girl made me feel good about myself. You don't need to "close the deal" just to satisfy your ego.

crazyoverher · Mar 22, 2009, 04:35 PM

Yeah... I hear you. I though that it was meaningless so I Didn't do anything. Thanks for the encourament and advice... ill just wait until it feels right...

Arzy99 · Mar 22, 2009, 05:58 PM

Had to spread the rep KC... I completely agree! Great advice!.
Crazy, just give it time and lots more time.. you will start to feel good about yourself when u do things for YOURSELF!. Don't think about all of this as a setback, its an opportunity.. a perfect opportunity to grow, develop and improve yourself!. once you do, yourself esteem will be back on top!
Good luck

crazyoverher · Mar 22, 2009, 08:03 PM

Thanks Arzy99...

I'm going to try to... I am trying to look at it that way.. an opportunity to grow and develop my "relationship" skills and just me in general.

I don't want to sound like I have a lot of self pity by saying that I will "improve" myself for the better etc... you know, a lot of people SAY that just to make themselves feel better. But I am not looking at it in THAT way..

Just want to heal and not be sad about it all and about all the time I feel like it might have been "wasted" I mean.. it wasn't wasted per se... but considering we wanted to get married a month ago... its kind of crazy..

But like everyone says, better for this to happen than to be in an unhappy or DRAMA marriage!

chuff · Mar 22, 2009, 09:12 PM

Crazy two things.

One I hope you change your screen name because it appears that you are no longer crazy over her, but rather starting to see her BS or perhaps becoming crazy about improvement.

Second thing is I hope you can see the positive improvements you've made just over the weekend. Hold onto this momentum because you are coming around. If you start to feel down, focus back to this weekend and everything you did right, and how YOU were in control, even with another girl ready to go. You NOT being a wussy and instead a man with a backbone decided what was best for you at that time and choose to follow through. That should be motivating for you, so hold onto it and grow from here.

crazyoverher · Mar 23, 2009, 05:45 AM

Thanks guys! :)

You all are a real support group!!

I was in control this weekend.. I went out and played softball and told myself that "i was going to have fun and feel good about it." ill tell you though, I DID do that BUT I did feel a little "GUILTY" for feeling that way. Its weird, its like when I feel good, I think... "hmm, maybe i shouldnt because SHE isnt around" - if anyone knows what I mean or feel. Its like, I shouldn't feel happy if she's not around because I never did.

Even so, I did feel good about 80% of the time. And when I didn't, I played more and forgot about that feeling. It seems when I have a lot of time on my hands, my mind wanders. Anyway any commetns would be great!

Thnkx

crazyoverher · Mar 23, 2009, 04:22 PM

Well everyone... today... I was a busy guy.

As I was driving, I thought about HER and you know what? It really didn't bother me that I wasn't with her! I thought about all the fre%kn drama that I would go through if she was with me and although I sure do think she's FRE$KIN HOT... id rather be "calm" with no drama.

Anyway, I wasn't very sad about that. And her memory at least for today was far away. It was more like me remembering someone than actually experiencing the BREAKUP or in my case, the WHO KNOWS breakup!

Just an update for everyone...

crazyoverher · Mar 23, 2009, 08:18 PM

People... damn setback...

Went drinking with my friends tonight... feeling really buzzed and I got to tell you all... I miss her warm naked body against mine when I lie in bed. >:

What am I supposed to do? I miss the love only a woman can give. Anyone got advice for me? Because, I'm not out there trying to F%ck anyone... I just am kind of lonely in bed...

Thanks

chuff · Mar 23, 2009, 09:51 PM

Originally Posted by crazyoverher

people........damn setback...

went drinking with my friends tonight....feeling really buzzed and i gotta tell u all....i miss her warm naked body against mine when i lie in bed. >:

what am i supposed to do? i miss the love only a woman can give. anyone got advice for me? cuz, im not out there trying to F%ck anyone...i just am kinda lonely in bed....

thnx

The love only a woman can give? Your ex didn't give you that so when you start thinking like that be grateful you don't have her.

You have to turn the negative thoughts into positive ones.