[anarchy89]

I've been seeing a girl for a few months, unfortunately a lot of it is long distance (as I am at Uni away from home). It seemed to go really well, could talk for hours about anything, she told me that every minute with her was perfect, I was all she wanted, and she loved me so much... etc etc.

I know she's had a troubled past, and early(ish) in the relationship, she had told me that ex's had messed her around, she didn't like people getting too close because she didn't want to be hurt, wasn't sure that she could stay with someone for a long time. I guess I should have really listened to her - but after telling me all this, she said that she didn't feel that way about me, things were different now.

So I believed all this, and things just got better and better. However, on Tuesday, she MSNd saying that she was really stressed with her uni work, having a bit of a breakdown, didn't want to take it out on me, and she needed to take some time to herself to sort everything out, and she thought we were too intense for her - so she wasn't breaking up, but wasn't in a right place at the moment.

There were a few more msn/texts this week, and it's been left on wanting time without much contact to see how we feel, and that I'd be better off without her for a while.

So there's not been any definite "we're over", but there's also not been a definite "in x weeks we'll talk and take another try".

What should I read into this? I really want to text and see how she's coping, because I'm worried about her mental state. But I don't want to seem needy or anything, so I'm trying so hard not to contact her - unless she speaks first on msn or texts. Or will seeming like I don't care just make it worse?

I know it's only a short relationship, but I felt a connection that I've not had previously with anyone.

Thanks in advance everyone :-)

[Krs]

Why not asking her directly where this situation of hers is leaving you two?

[anarchy89]

why not asking her directly where this situation of hers is leaving you two?

I can't get any concrete answers from her - but I don't want to put any more stress on her ontop of the situation by pressing for answers. I'm just really concerned that taking no contact isn't going to help - that she'll just assume I'm moving on rather than giving her what she asked for?

[Krs]

Well if you asked her and arnt getting anything concrete leave her be just remind her that your there for her

[talaniman]

When a female, or male, asks for a break, give it to them, just find other things to do, and have fun without her. I know its easier said than done, but that beats making a pest of yourself, and bothering her.

She will call if she misses you enough, and if she doesn't you will know where you stand.

Just me, ant female who needs a break, gets what she asks for, and I go about my own business.

Ain't that much love in the world, for me to be waiting on a confused, stressed female, to make time for me. That ain't love, or caring.

Her actions say get lost, so do so!

[heartbroke]

She has issues she needs to solve, having you involved will only cloud her judgement. If you don't give her space it will only push her further away. Let her initiate contact

[anarchy89]

Well as an update, she called me today to talk, we discussed everything, and in the same way managed nothing. She thought she had everything sorted, and that she wanted to be with me, then managed to convince herself otherwise.

What I've established is that she seems to have a lot of past issues, and she wants to be with me, but doesn't want me to get any deeper in her life. I've told her to take a few days to clear her head and figure it out, but I guess I can't be taken for a ride tbh, so as much as it kills me, if she still messes around I guess it's not meant to be?

[sharper11]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, but happy that your "clear headed" about it. You can't someone just drag you around because they are indecisive. At least it's a "new" relationship, and not a year into it.