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Maccaroni · Feb 3, 2009, 10:20 AM

My partner and I had not been together long when we found out I was pregnant. Everything in our relationship is great but he doesn't want to have sex 'incase he hurts the baby'. Is this common?

Jake2008 · Feb 3, 2009, 10:33 AM

It sure was with me and my partner. He had the same excuse. I don't know if you'll have better luck than I did, but see if, on your next visit to the Doctor he can go with you, and just ask the doctor outright.

When you figure 9 months is a long time, and then after the baby is born, more time will go by as you heal, and then you'll be too tired!

I have never read anything that suggested sex during preganancy is a no-no. In the last trimester I can see maybe being a little more cautious perhaps, but to eliminate sex entirely is not necessary.

Good luck with turning him around.

artlady · Feb 3, 2009, 10:43 AM

Happened to me. I imagine it is not all that uncommon.I know he was faithful and right after the baby was born he was like a dog in heat again but during the pregnancy he just didn't feel comfortable having sex.I told him it was safe but he just felt like he was doing something *wrong*.
Try not to take it personally.

Nickcom2007 · Feb 3, 2009, 10:52 AM

This is a common thing for some men. Some of them are afraid that they will hurt the baby during sex. That is not the case. He will not hurt the baby. For him maybe the thought of being on top and being inside at the same time is a turn off. You could suggest a different position. For example when I was pregnant with my daughter I read in numerous magazines and books that having sex in the "doggy-style" position was an enjoyable position while pregnant. It also helps the man to "not notice" the belly. While pregnant your hormones are above normal and sex can be a very wonderful thing. Even having sex during your last trimester is save; it will not induce your labor as long as your pregnancy is a healthy one. My doctor didn't discourage sex within the last days of my pregnancy. If you can look up information about sex during pregnancy and then sharing that information with him it may help him to feel better about it. Also, I do agree with having him go to your next doctor's appointment with you. That is something that the doctor can reassure him in. My husband was the complete opposite when I was pregnant, he thought it was the most beautiful thing, "making love" to his pregnant wife. At first I wasn't so keen with it, but then towards the middle of my pregnancy and it changed. Making love while your pregnant is a beautiful wonderful thing to share with your significant other! Good Luck!

**If you do decide to look up information on your pregnancy and a sex life during, here is a good site to go to, What To Expect When You're Expecting, Pregnancy, Baby, Babies, Toddler, Parenting -- WhatToExpect.com, when I was pregnant I was constantly on this site looking up information and reading different articles about pregnancy, babies, life**

Fr_Chuck · Feb 3, 2009, 11:51 AM

Many men are very uneducated about these things. Take him with you to the doctor next visit

sasha_1 · Feb 3, 2009, 11:55 AM

This has happened to me. I am 33 weeks pregnant. For us, it was different as I am going through a very difficul pregnancy.

I have hypermeresis - extreme nausea and vomiting and was bedridden for the first 4 months. Naturally, sex was the last thing then on either of our minds.

Later on, when I got a little better and regained some of my strength, I ended up in OB triage - twice - for pre-term contractions. He is too scared to make love lest he hurt the baby or I end up in pre-mature labor.