[mandy88]

Hello, I'm not even sure where to start and I want to be as honest as possible to get some insight from someone other then myself...

Ok, I've been with my fiancé for 2 years. I have a little girl who is 3 whom he is very good with.. unless he is mad at me, then he ignores her... its like he is on the same level as she is sometimes... and now I see I am already jumping subjects...

Ok, this all started in the beginning... he just questioned me all the time... ALL the time, like he was always trying to find a descrepancy in what I would say.. he did this for a few months and had me totally walking on egg shells around him... He constantly accused me of cheating or because I stayed friends with some guys he would say that I was messing around with them.. he did this until he was compleltely satisfied that I talked to no guys anymore... although I wouldn't say he's COMPLETELY satisfied because he still accuses me almost every day. As soon as one guy is no longer an issue, its someone new... and I don't just mean he asks if I cheat.. He flips out calling me a whore and that he knows I'm f***ing guys... and calls me every name in the book... I don't know why I have put up with it. I do love him but now I honestly feel stuck. He asked me to marry him pretty shortly after us being together and everything seemed so great then, as soon as I said yes he started to use that against me too.. any time I spend money I'm a gold digging... any time I have 5 minutes to myself without my daughter which rarely happens, I'm screwing someone. He always says nothing adds up that I say.. which I don't get... but if I say I'll be home in a "little bit" he decides what a little bit is.. usually 15 minutes and if I'm not home then its right back to accusing me... recently I went to the movies with some of my friends. All girls... which is a rarity to get to spend time with them... before the movie I was telling him how proud I was of him because he had been doing so good with trusting me.. (which I later realized is not normal to have to tell your mate) then he flipped out that night because he said I didn't let him know when the movie was over... but the movie wasn't even over.. he couldn't even give me the benefit of a doubt... He has a friend that he apparently thinks that the second we meet we'll mess around... well I've met him briefly but of course I didn't hardly even acknowledge him to save a fight... Well now he is always telling me he knows we are talking and messing around... The other day I was going to go to walmart and my boyfriend flipped out on me because he knew his friend was also going... like I should've known.. then he went on to say that me and his friend had it planned... again telling me all I am is a gold digging whore...

I know I am rambling but this is 2 years of craziness that I am now dealing with and I'm so confused and I don't know if this is truly just a man with a little bit of a trust issue or if its completley out of hand... I just need someone from the outside looking in to give me some imput... Please feel free to ask me whatever for clarification...

Oh... after being together for a few months I got a forward from my daughters husband on my phone... well I lied and told him it was from someone else... because I wanted to save a fight... well he saw the truth... I can honestly say this is the only time I felt I was deceitful and I regret it... but by that point I was walking on such egg shells and every fight was so extreme that I just wanted to save a fight just that once...

[ylaira]

unless he is mad at me, then he ignores her.'...

he just questioned me all the time... ALL the time, ...

He constantly accused me of cheating or b/c i stayed friends with some guys...

he still accuses me almost every day...

He flips out calling me a whore and that he knows i'm f***ing guys... and calls me every name in the book......

any time i spend money i'm a gold digging .... any time i have 5 minutes to myself without my daughter which rarely happens, i'm screwing someone....

but if i say i'll be home in a "little bit" he decides what a little bit is.. usually 15 minutes ...

again telling me all i am is a gold digging whore......

I want to post a comment right ahead just reading the title of your post. Anyway I still read it and made me more sick. Everybody will advise you to run, run as fast as you can and dont ever look back. Your fiance is scary and I think its the type who will commit "crimes of passion". If you care enough for your daughter and yourself, just leave now. Don't wait to get tied on him. If now you're stucked, you will be a prisoner if that happens.

[Emland]

I'm trying to figure out what you could possibly love about this person. Anyone who calls his fiancé a whore is a creep. He is incredibly insecure - why else would he be so controlling.

For your and your daughter's sake, run - don't walk from this cretin.

[margarita_momma]

I guess my question to you is... are you really happy with him? When he gets home are you happy to see him or are you just waiting to here what kind of accusation is going to come out of his mouth next? The most important thing in your life should be the happiness of you and your daughter. I can honestly say I have been in your shoes. I have had one insecure boyfriend after another. They seem to attract to me like bugs to a light bulb. I am glad I had them though because they have made me a stronger more independent person. If you are honestly not happy with him, leave and build a stable life for you and your daughter.

[ylaira]

Poem by Maya Angelou... About and for women
*********************************
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
One old love she can imagine going back to... And one
Who reminds her how far she has come...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE..
Enough money within her control to move out and rent a
Place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE..
Something perfect to wear if the employer or date of
Her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE..
A youth she's content to leave behind...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
Retelling it in her old age...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black
Lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
One friend who always makes her laugh... And one who
Lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A good piece of furniture not previously owned by
Anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a
Recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored..

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
A feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to fall in love without losing herself...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront
A friend without ruining the friendship.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
When to try harder... And WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That she can't change the length of her calves, the width of
Her hips, or the nature of her parents...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That her childhood may not have been perfect... but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to live alone... Even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she
Shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Where to go... Be it to her best friend's kitchen table... Or a
Charming inn in the woods... When her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish in a day... A month...
And a year...

[sully123]

I would say run for the hills, this man is bad news. How can you love someone who treats you like this? He is a control freak. The sooner you shut this chapter of your life, the better off you will be. THINK MORE OF YOURSELF.I am sure you have more dignity and respect for yourself than that. He honestly sounds like an awful person to be around. People who try and control someone else's life and accuse other people of things, and wants to watch every move you make are usually physical abusers. So I wouldn't waste another minute with this man. YOU have a daughter to think about.

[JBeaucaire]

He flips out calling me a whore and that he knows I'm f***ing guys... and calls me every name in the book... I don't know why I have put up with it.

You don't have to. Who told you have to?

I do love him but now I honestly feel stuck.

You're not stuck, not in the least. Stuck how? Guy treats you like crap and you're stuck how?

He asked me to marry him pretty shortly after us being together and everything seemed so great then, as soon as I said yes he started to use that against me too.

Of course he did. EVERYTHING about this story says one thing - crazy-needy-controlling-guy is destroying your life and you're letting him.

JUST because you had/have some attraction feelings for a guy, WHO EVER TOLD YOU that meant you had to ignore who he really is? Where did you learn that?

You date a guy to find out who he is. He's told you. What exactly are you really confused by here? I KNOW it isn't him! He's clear as a bell about his needs. He needs you to slave yourself to him and listen to any crap he wants to sling in your direction.

So, does that match YOUR needs in ANY way? After you say no and start to think up reasons to tell us why it should be OK, I'll interrupt you now and tell you it isn't!!

Somewhere along the way you forgot one very important thing - YOU ARE THE PRIZE, not him. You are the "catch", and you without being all egotistical about it, you at LEAST need to have a guy EARN your commitment.

OK?

[talaniman]

Well you have your sneak preview of your life with this fellow, so how do you like it??