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magrock · Jul 22, 2008, 10:01 AM

I have a little dilemma my best friends brother & I always had a thing for each other but nothing ever happened because we both were involved in relationships but now we are both single. Our chemistry is nuts we have kissed & just recently had sex. I am very close to his sister however I am afraid that it may ruin things ( or maybe I am jumping the gun) because he has said in general he is not looking for another relationship since he has been in so many, he is a great catch he is a lawyer now & is working hard so he is enjoying his life now. But he never mentions not being in one w/me he just says that he doesn't even like to date. I am falling for him hard ( I broke up w/my boyfriend a month ago) but confused because he calls me everyday & everyone sees he is into me.

I did tell him I am definitely not a girl to just sleep with because I do not want to get hurt or be played with & he said he would never do that. He is genuinely a nice guy I have known him for yrs. My question is should I proceed w/caution or stop it before it gets deeper? He is already warned how I am feeling...

Let me know any thoughts or advice-thanks!

erin7799 · Jul 22, 2008, 11:14 AM

So you said you 2 just recently had sex and then you told him that you aren't just a "girl to sleep with"? Was this before or after he told you that he doesn't want to be in a relationship? Because there is a difference between sexual chemistry and chemistry in the emotional sense. And you do have to be careful because I lost my best friend who dated my brother. It's a bad place to be.

magrock · Jul 22, 2008, 11:17 AM

We talked about it before & after... he knows the type of girl I am... however can not deny the chemistry we have but that's not all we have together we talk & have many things in common... I just don't want to be hurt. My best friend & I talked about it already I will not lose my friendship w/her she is like a sister to me...

Romefalls19 · Jul 22, 2008, 11:29 AM

Well he sees things as why buy the cow when he already has the milk for free. You are still emotionally vulnerable from a break up with your ex, that you said you were depressed about and now you jump right into things. Not a good move

magrock · Jul 22, 2008, 11:36 AM

Romefalls19- I am not depressed actually I had closure w/my ex awhile back but I have always liked this guy... wait so now that I slept w/him I messed it up? Arghhh... I was a little pissed I did that but I followed what I felt... I definitely want him to buy the cow...

Romefalls19 · Jul 22, 2008, 11:43 AM

I'm not saying you messed up, I am just saying he may not pursue a relationship defiantely. It could still go either way, depends. I wasn't implying you are still depressed but you were quite shaken and seemed to be rushing into something.

hjpan · Jul 22, 2008, 11:52 AM

There is no chemistry. Period.

Just sex.

magrock · Jul 22, 2008, 11:53 AM

U mean you think he won't pursue me because I already slept w/him? Or because he does not want a relationship... I want to get a guys point of view...

Romefalls19 · Jul 22, 2008, 11:55 AM

A combination of both, not wanting a relationship is something that can change over night because it happened to me first hand. But once you add sex into the middle of anything, things get complicated. So he may back away even further or may come closer. Its all how he feels about it

hjpan · Jul 22, 2008, 11:56 AM

Originally Posted by magrock

u mean u think he wont pursue me b/c i already slept w/him? or b/c he does not want a relationship... i want to get a guys point of view....

Chances are, he's not going to pursue you.

After getting what's between your legs... there's no doubt about a relationship.

I attended an all-male high school for three years. I know what I'm talking about.

hjpan · Jul 22, 2008, 11:59 AM

Originally Posted by hjpan

There is no chemistry. Period.

Just sex.

If you think I'm harsh, that's because you're in denial.

It's funny how people try to refute the argument when the evidence is present.

magrock · Jul 22, 2008, 12:03 PM

Not in denial but I do see what your saying... I just feel bad for what I did that's all & you are making it worse... just kidding... u think I can do anything now? I am definitely not sleeping w/him again... he texts/calls me everyday plus he knows my family why would he want to hurt me like that... he has a lot to lose here...

hjpan · Jul 22, 2008, 12:09 PM

Originally Posted by magrock

not in denial but i do see what ur saying... i just feel bad for what i did thats all & you are making it worse...just kidding... u think i can do anything now? i am definitely not sleeping w/him again... he texts/calls me everyday plus he knows my family y would he want to hurt me like that.... he has alot to lose here...

The idea (from my view is)... if the girl I was dating had a history background of going on with different guys, regardless of relationship or one night stands... I'd dump them right off the bat.

Just like girls who don't like man-whores.

Same thing.

If you feel bad for what you did, there is no way of repenting because what is done has been done. For him, he texts/calls you is to get you to fuq him again... You need to step aside and learn about yourself before going on physically.

adam_89 · Jul 22, 2008, 12:12 PM

Hey! I feel you the same way. I just had sex with somebody and tried to get a relationship out of it and now nothing will come of it. You on the other hand have know him for awhile, so, and you said that people could tell he was into you, so, my guess is that he will come around and take things further!

magrock · Jul 22, 2008, 12:13 PM

OK I still think you are very harsh but respect your opinion! U do not know me to know if you would date me or not... I am 29 & never had a 1 night stand & very proud of it. So you do not have right to say that I am whore or sleep around... someone should report you not very nice what are r saying

liz28 · Jul 22, 2008, 12:14 PM

If he stated that he don't want a relationship right now be cautions.

My best friend dated my brother and it also ruin our friendship because she was embrassed when they stop dating. I was against it but I just hope everything would have worked out.

Right now it sounds like your're having fun and enoying time with each other but your falling for him. Keep your feelings unde control in case you don't have the outcome you want but note you been warned.

hjpan · Jul 22, 2008, 12:19 PM

Originally Posted by magrock

ok i still think u r very harsh but respect ur opinion! u do not know me to know if u would date me or not... i am 29 & never had a 1 nite stand & very proud of it. so u do not have right to say that i am whore or sleep around... someone should report you not very nice what r r saying

I'm not offending you but you must understand FROM A GUY'S P.O.V

You said you never had a one night stand? Then what was the sex called when you fuqed your friends' brother?

magrock · Jul 22, 2008, 12:20 PM

Isn't a 1nite stand when u never speak again to someone? I spoke to him the next day... whatever please get off my thread

hjpan · Jul 22, 2008, 12:22 PM

Originally Posted by magrock

isnt a 1nite stand when u never speak again to someone? i spoke to him the next day... whatever please get off my thread

Depends on what your view is.

One night stand can mean:
Sex & no more communication
Sex & more communication

lmangileri · Jul 22, 2008, 12:27 PM

Your best friend might tell you now that now that nothing will happen to your friendship but more than likely something will. One of my best friends dated my brother for a couple years. We grew farther and farther apart and then things ended badly with my brother and her and to make a long story short we aren't even friends anymore. Before you do anything else decide which is more important in the long run, your best friend or dating her brother. I'm not saying that it couldn't work but I've seen bad things happen. And by the way, you can't always go by what hjpan is saying. Not every guy is like that.