[Rotordude1965]

Hi all,
New to this but I think that I might get some help from this. Long story but I met my wife about 10 years ago and got married about 3 years ag after a long time apart. I was in the Marines and she was at a great career. She agreed to marry me an told me that she would be an expensive keep due to some health problems and other concerns. I thought nothing could be that bad and now Ive crossed over to the Army and 3 years later minus everything I own, a history of bad health care leading to an abortion recommended by doctors because of her heath risks, a few failures on my part to make sure things go smooth with the 5 moves we have done, some of the bad decisions in life that Ive had before we were married that has caught up with me to her dismay. Its been a rocky road since we got married and she wants out now but I think I can still make it work but the drive from her isn't there anymore. Any help out there, at wits end.

[starbuck8]

Although I don't know your entire story, just reading between the lines tells me that you have really dropped the ball. I think you know that, or you wouldn't be writing. From what you have said, you knew about her health problems, and didn't do a lot of thinking about that before you married her. You maybe thought love would cure it all?

Well reality set in, and you found out love isn't a magic cure. You've moved her from place to place, and probably from Dr. to Dr. That is a stressful situation for even a healthy person. I'm sorry to hear about the medical reasons for the abortion. That must be hard on her, and maybe she resents you for that.

I don't know if you are stationed anywhere close to home, or how often you are able to come home to be with her. I hope you aren't making her feel guilty for all of the medical bills, and the fact that you have lost what you had. Those "things" are "just things". You knew the deal when you married her right?

I know it must be rough, but you MUST make her feel like she is the most important thing in the world to you, if you want to keep her! Some counselling would also be in order for the both of you, or even the two of you separate at first.

It would be helpful for all of us here, to give a little more info. Is your wife alone a lot? Are you home often? Have you been fighting and arguing a lot? You don't have to go into detail, but a little more insight into the situation may help us to help you!

[JBeaucaire]

You'll need to tell us how you think you might be able to influence HER not to give up. We can't read her mind nor divine a magic bullet to fix her attitude, we can only help YOU because you're the one who is here and listening.

So, what do you want to try doing? Based on your experience with her, what is your prediction of the outcome of those attempts?