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SJohn · Apr 15, 2008, 08:53 AM

I posted a topic about this girl I met here about a week and a half ago. Now on to why I'm posting this topic.

We ended up meeting for dinner last Thursday. We were supposed to have lunch but she woke up late not feeling good so we just went out for dinner instead. I showed her around my place and then we went out to eat. We talked for a while, getting the butterflies out, etc. It was pretty constant conversation about school, our interests, and other stuff. After dinner we went to my house to watch a movie. We watched and talked some more. After the movie was over, she had to leave. So we hugged, said our goodbyes, said it was nice meeting each other finally. After she left, I hopped on MSN to wait for her to see how her drive went. She said it went fine and that she had fun with me but that next time we'll plan better since it was kind of spur of the moment after she woke up. After talking with her a bit, I go to sleep. The next day is where it began.

She just stopped talking to me pretty much after some brief conversation. After a while, I find out her and my friend had a conversation about me. I guess I was being obsessive? She said she still wanted to be friends though. A time or two before I may have pestered her for an answer on MSN or something but that's about it. I wasn't touchy feely with her when we met. I didn't send her roses or anything like that. I'm thinking it may have stemmed from me seeming like I wasn't interested at first but then finally showing her I was and her feelings for the ex still. I may have thrown it just a tad into overdrive when I found out her friend likes her (He lives 2500 miles away though so I don't know if I should really worry?) Did I show a little too much interest or something?

Anyway, fast forward to today. We haven't talked since Friday and a couple of days ago I told her I'd be on MSN if she wanted to talk about things. She never got on so I figured I'd just take it easy and wait for her to eventually come talk to me. I just have a lot to say to her and I want to explain myself. It sucks waiting when you have something to say, you know? I haven't pestered her to talk to me or anything. I'm just waiting. Is that all I can do at this point? The friend of mine that talked to her thinks she's just testing me to see if I can change. Could that be true? Thanks in advance for any advice. I just really hope I didn't screw this up. I haven't tried talking to her and am just playing it cool and waiting.

HistorianChick · Apr 15, 2008, 09:08 AM

Sorry to say, but I do think the best thing for you to do is just what you said... play it cool and wait.

I was in the same situation... only the girl. I had the same reactions as you think this girl has had. I was interested. We did have a great time together. But he became VERY pushy... constantly messaging my myspace, texting, etc. and I put on the brakes. Had he done what you are doing - played it cool and waited - it may have turned out differently.

I wish you the best, hon. But continue doing what you're doing. Play it cool and wait for a bit. In a few days, maybe send her a casual email saying, "hey, what you doing saturday? Care to catch a movie?" At that point, maybe she will see that you're giving her space and that you're still interested.

The ball is in her court, let her hit it back to you :) Good luck!

TrueFaith · Apr 15, 2008, 10:11 AM

Act like nothing happened there is nothing to talk about it, nothing to say she owes you nothing as you owe her nothing.

So next time she talks go Oh Hi and talk normal

Easy as that

talaniman · Apr 15, 2008, 10:26 AM

You did your part, now drop it, and stop waiting, and put your focus elsewhere on others. Do not contact her, and act as if you never met. I don't know how she feels, and neither do you, and that's not the important thing here, getting on with your life, and being happy, checking out others, and meeting new people, is the best way to do your waing. It keeps you balanced.

SJohn · Apr 15, 2008, 01:17 PM

Even after this, she said she enjoys talking to me. So maybe there's hope?

HistorianChick · Apr 15, 2008, 01:25 PM

Originally Posted by SJohn

Even after this, she said she enjoys talking to me. So maybe there's hope?

Maybe there is! :) Just be yourself, be calm, cool, collected. Don't worry about "losing your chance" with her, just be regular. Don't push her... you'll push her away if you try.

Just be you. :)

talaniman · Apr 15, 2008, 03:45 PM

Originally Posted by SJohn

Even after this, she said she enjoys talking to me. So maybe there's hope?

Aw, I bet she says that to all her friends. The only thing you need to worry about is making sure she lets you heal, not your conversation. Pining your hope on statements like this, will only confuse you, and hurt even more when she doesn't have time to talk to you.

SJohn · Apr 15, 2008, 04:28 PM

She said it after saying I was getting obsessive though so it's weird. Not really pinning my hope on anything at the moment. :\

JoeCanada76 · Apr 15, 2008, 04:33 PM

Weird.

I am famous for my one word answers lol. Just kidding.

I am more curious about your friend that is kind of sending you messages back and forth. Why is that happening. I do not think that is a good idea, whether you trust your friend or not.

It is up to you what you do, but it is obvious you still have conversation going.

SJohn · Apr 15, 2008, 07:04 PM

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Weird.

I am famous for my one word answers lol. Just kidding.

I am more curious about your friend that is kind of sending you messages back and forth. Why is that happening. I do not think that is a good idea, whether you trust your friend or not.

It is up to you what you do, but it is obvious you still have conversation going.

I've known him for about 7 years now and he already has a girlfriend. He's a friend to us both. She talked to him because I usually listen to him, I guess.

talaniman · Apr 16, 2008, 06:30 AM

I think you need to tell your friend to not bring anymore news from the ex. The more people in your business, the more screwed up things become. Stop sending messages to her through him too.

SJohn · Apr 16, 2008, 08:23 AM

Should I just start talking to her on my own, even if we haven't been talking the past several days? I initiated small conversation a couple of days ago and she answered so it's not like she doesn't want anything to do with me or anything like that. It's either that or wait around some more which I don't like doing. :(