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SJohn · Apr 6, 2008, 11:41 AM

So I met this girl online while playing a game we both enjoy. After getting to know her a bit, I find out she goes to the same college as me and lives about 15 minutes away. After talking to her for a while longer, I start to like her and she starts to like me, but this is where I messed up. A couple of my past relationships kind of made me "iffy" on jumping into another one. We had a conversation about her ex and had a little argument. I apologize later, making my feelings known for sure, but she tells me she thought I was uninterested and that she kind of moved on. She said that I'm an awesome guy and that we should meet up sometime and maybe start as good friends. Thing is, I still have feelings for her and I'm hoping she still has some for me. What I'm wondering is, did I miss my chance?

Edit: I just wanted to add some more. I asked if she wanted to make some concrete plans to do something together and she said after our exams are done, we could. If that helps anyone with answering. ;)

ForeverZero · Apr 6, 2008, 12:12 PM

Well, as with most things involving women, you got to make it a point to hide how you feel. They don't like it when you like them. It makes no sense, but try your best to not show how in love with her you are. She wants a friend, so give her a friend, if she wants more, you'll know pretty quickly.

No, you didn't miss your chance.

SJohn · Apr 7, 2008, 06:25 AM

All right. I'll try to hide how I feel from now. Thanks. ;)

talaniman · Apr 7, 2008, 10:23 AM

First off, your falling to far, to fast, with someone who is basically a stranger, and your expectations are to high, and she will never measure up as fast as your going. Slowdown, and have fun getting to know her, before you get all feely about her. Play games on line is one thing, but face to face is entirely different. So before you think of a relationship, or something in the future, make sure you know who your making plans with, and see if she feels the same, or you'll scare the poor girl off. What's the hurry?

SJohn · Apr 7, 2008, 11:25 AM

That's one of my problems, I guess. When I fall, I fall fast. Lately I've toned it down a bit and I'm just trying to get to know her better before we make plans. I'm just really looking forward to meeting her and everything. I just think it could have some potential. I guess I have ants in my pants though. :P

SJohn · Apr 8, 2008, 03:14 PM

All right, I've read/heard conflicting reports. Should I flat out hide how I feel or show how I feel here and there? I've been showing it here and there...

ForeverZero · Apr 8, 2008, 06:49 PM

In the end you got to do what's going to satisfy you. Taking my or his advice because I said so isn't going to leave you fulfilled, and if it doesn't go the way you want, you'll just use that as an excuse in your mind to backtrack and try again when the damage is already done.

Personally, it's been my experience that girls don't like guys that are willing to tell them they want to be friends only to tell them they're madly in love with them. If you're willing to just be friends, try your damnedest to pull it off, if you can't, nobody will fault you for trying, and believe me, you won't be the first guy that failed trying.

If you don't think you can keep a lid on things for more than 5 minutes and that you simply must tell her everything on the first meeting, then you'd be in a plot of a chick flick movie and all you need to do is that one over-the-top thing to win her over and live happily ever after.

Once again, personally, I'd do a quick complete works list on james dean, it's short, and study that character. Otherwise, you might chase her off.

talaniman · Apr 9, 2008, 08:03 AM

Being honest is the only way to go! That and be yourself.

SJohn · Apr 9, 2008, 03:44 PM

Well, we made quick plans to meet up tomorrow for lunch. Just a short one before she goes and does her "girl stuff" as I call it. Anything I should know and any tips to make for nice conversation, etc.

Matteus · Apr 9, 2008, 04:07 PM

Originally Posted by SJohn

So I met this girl online while playing a game we both enjoy. After getting to know her a bit, I find out she goes to the same college as me and lives about 15 minutes away. After talking to her for a while longer, I start to like her and she starts to like me, but this is where I messed up. A couple of my past relationships kind of made me "iffy" on jumping into another one. We had a conversation about her ex and had a little argument. I apologize later, making my feelings known for sure, but she tells me she thought I was uninterested and that she kind of moved on. She said that I'm an awesome guy and that we should meet up sometime and maybe start off as good friends. Thing is, I still have feelings for her and I'm hoping she still has some for me. What I'm wondering is, did I miss my chance?

Edit: I just wanted to add some more. I asked if she wanted to make some concrete plans to do something together and she said after our exams are done, we could. If that helps anyone with answering. ;)

1. You already put yourself in the friendship zone. Chance missed. Once you are in, you can't get out of it, and try something different. There is a saying "from friendship starts everything", but your case is different.

2. You say you feel for her, but you don't know and you hope she feels for you. She already told you that. She doesn't. At this point, girls are very straight. What I would suggest is: try to hide. Challenge. Mystery. Let her mind work toward you. And worries about you. Let her ask herself what happened. What happened to you. Why did you flee. Your company could mean something to her. If you didn't loosed your chance, you will know from the circumstances, and her behaviour.

3. don't make plans. Don't ask her if she wants to do something with you (or together as you say). Be a catch for god's sake.