[lonelygirl50]

:mad: My boyfriend of 4 yrs. And I just moved to the state of Tennessee to start and new life. After living in Florida, we decided to make the move. We both found jobs, moved into a nice home, everything was going just perfect. Ken was planning to fix up the house and I was so excited about spending our first Xmas in the cold weather. Our relationship was very stable, we loved each other, we were always together, having fun, nothing I can say was going wrong. When Ken accepted the manager position at his work place, I noticed things weren't right. He was avoiding me, stopped fixing up, constantly working overtime,and not eating much. One morning out of the blue on Nov. 8th 2005, he broke the news to me, I'm not attracted to you anymore, I want to move into my own place. I was devastated and extremely hurt. So, Ken moved out that day and never came back. He kept in touch with me weekly, along with a lot of lying, but no reason to come home. He found an apartment, I asked him if there is a roommate, he would stutter and say "maybe", then I asked if there was another girl, same reply "maybe". But Ken still would call me, be very nice and civil on the phone. I let him have it, once , told him not to call me ever again and to leave me alone. But, again would call for certain reasons. Now, he still has belongings at the house along with our paperwork. I told him to come and get them. The boxes are still sitting in the basement. How could he just all of a sudden do something like this? He knows I'm all alone up here, and I did nothing to push him away. What happen in his mind to do this to me. I need some desperate answers. I'm hurting very bad. If he wasn't happy with me, why did he say something in Florida! HELP!!

[talaniman]

I don't have a clue as to what your b/f is all about,I could speculate but I won't.The fact is you are alone and without help,and I hope your smart enough to not let your anger and hurt for your (ex)b/f distract you from the fact you must fend for yourself.He fooled you on many things, so hurt or not, he must not be worth the tears you shed for him.Say good riddance, get his stuff out of there, and live without him.Now he may come crawling back in the future(rats usually do) don't let him back in your heart he'll only break it again:cool: Take care of yourself!:)

[Fr_Chuck]

I would say if you don' have friends here in TN ( I am in TN)

I am nost sure I know someone in about your situation so I am not sure if this is the person I know or not.

But if you have friends in Fla, why not move back. But in any way, it will just take time to first get over the relationship ( never forgotten and always some hurt and pain) but at least to get over it and start getting on with your life.

In general there may have been some "unhappy" feelings in Fla that made wanting a change to happen. But without more from him it is hard to tell. Most likely after getting up to TN he found a new friend, unless perhaps he had meet someone online in TN that prompted his coming up here, but then that again is just some guess as to what I have seen happen far too many times over the last few years.

This is the time to hurt and cry, perhaps rip a few of his shirts to shreds never hurts to make someone feel better.

I am sorry this has happened, a break up of a relationship can be so hard.

[augustknight]

I would have to say that he was another lover. But that will fail also because he isn't honest about his feelings. It's one thing being dumped but this case is extreme in the sense that he uprooted you and left you without a support system. If there is a silver lining it is that you at least weren't married and you found out before committing your life to him that he would do such a thing.
It's hard now but you will adapt. Don't try too hard to adjust your life. Let it come naturally. At least try to establish a nonsexual relationship with someone so you can get out of the house and back into the mainstream. Good luck and don't give him the time of day.

[educatedhorse_2005]

I say forget him burn his stuff and get a new boyfriend he wasn't right for you if he did this to you

[fredg]

Hi, LonelyGirl,
I am so sorry to read about this. Making such a move from FL to GA, following your boyfriend, at the time, sounded like a good thing to do. But, things do happen, as your question says.
At 64 yrs old now, married 28 yrs, I think I would have had more of a commitment, like getting married first, before I would have done that many years ago. Life is wonderful and fun, but can be devasting at times.
Your best bet is to move back to FL, where you have friends, possibly family.
Eventually, you will meet a man who is caring, respectful, and wonderful, and wants to be with just you, forever! This is obviously not the man.
Since you have already told him to come get his stuff, papers, etc, then you have done all you can. There is no telling why he did this, maybe too much stress, who knows.
I do wish you the best, and hope you will move back, leaving his "stuff" lying where it is. It's not your responsibility anymore. It will be hard to forget about this, but you will, in time. Hang in there.

[Wildcat21]

I'd forget this guy 100%. Cut all contact. I think moving back to Florida is your best bet IF that's where you are from.

Unfortunately - you saw this guys true colors. Cheater and liar. Wonder what else he lied to you about the last 4 years? How many other women?

I'd move back to where your family is. You need to leave TN and get a fresh start.

[dennism]

If you will obey God and never give in or give up, then nothing - no person on earth, no devil in hell, no inability you have, nothing from your past - will be able to keep you from being successful.

Most of us have no problem with wishbone;
It's backbone that we are lacking.

"Tough times never last, but tough people do"
Hang in there, You'll be fine!!

[Mooshie]

I hope that Dennison didn't mean "Never give in to the reality that this relationship is over," or "never give up on a guy who continually jerks you around." Because that would be bad. Tempting, I know; but bad. Some things are not in your power to fix.