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jfhunter · Feb 6, 2008, 05:40 AM

OK here's what's going on.My girlfriend is almost 19 very and very mature and I am 20. I am my girlfriends first boyfriend and she is starting to want to know what else is out there. She wants to take a break, and I understand and I love and trust her enough to let her take the break. I am just worried that she will find someone better. The thing that confuses me is that we text each other all the time (we are not on the break yet) and she keeps saying that I am "amazing and she wants to be with me forever." She also told me that she could see herself marrying me, so I'm just a little confused on what's going on.

EuRa · Feb 6, 2008, 06:18 AM

I am just worried that she will find someone better.

This is an indication that you are insecure. You might be too controlling, to over-bearig, you have to be around her all the time, etc. This would explain why she really likes you, but wants some space because she feels smothered.

If you weren't insecure, you would never have mentioned the above sentence. Being insecure (most people are) is when you don't fully love and appreciate yourself. Can you look into a mirror, deep into your own eyes and with all seriousness and sincerity say "i love you" to yourself and mean it! When you say it to yourself, you should feel good about it. This is how you know when you are secure or not.

You need a break more than she does. You need to work on yourself and who you are before you can share yourself with someone else. Once you do, once you love yourself and you have all the confidence in the world, others will love you too, and you will have almost no problems with girls wanting to take a break ever again!

ordinaryguy · Feb 6, 2008, 06:20 AM

Originally Posted by jfhunter

OK heres whats going on.My girlfriend is almost 19 very and very mature

No, she's not. She's fickle and young and foolish. It can't be helped, except by time and experience.

Originally Posted by jfhunter

She wants to take a break, and I understand and I love and trust her enough to let her take the break. I am just worried that she will find someone better.

She's sure to find somebody different. Finding somebody better is a lot less likely, but it could happen. The better you are, the less likely it is.

Originally Posted by jfhunter

i'm just a little confused on whats going on.

No need for confusion. She's got the itch for diversity and change. You might as well accept it and use the opportunity to make some changes of your own. I know it feels unfair when other people seem to force unwanted change onto you, but in the bigger picture, they're your teachers, not your adversaries.

Romefalls19 · Feb 6, 2008, 06:20 AM

You're going to hate this, but sound advice for this situation. Usually when someone says they want to see other people, they usually already are. If she loved you so much and wanted to be with you forever, then there would be no doubt in her mind or her wondering what else is out there. A break is usually a cowardly way of easing out of a relationship.

duck22 · Feb 6, 2008, 06:29 AM

Hey buddy it sucks. My ex and I are 20 and were in similar situation. She was my best friend and girlfriend for 4 years. She would always tell me how much she loves me and how she thinks we will marry me and so on. One day she said she needed to take a break and that she needs some time to herself. I was reluctant but agreed because I loved her and trusted her. About two weeks into the break I discovered she started seeing another guy since the day of the "break". This destroyed me and any chance of us getting back together. I would be able to forgive her if she was honest with me, but the way things worked out she was playing me as a fool. The lies and deception (she never lied or hid anything from me until this) is what hurts the most.

Now I am not saying that your girl may be interested in another guy, but it's a good possibility. Many of (if not all of) the stories that begin this way is because she is interested in somebody else. The best thing I think to do is let her go. Its what she wants to do and you may prolong it happening, but down the road it well just end up being worse. When it does happen you can not stay in contact with her. I can guarantee she will want to "stay friends" and "keep in touch". Do not fall into the friends trap, its all or nothing. She do this because she wants to have somebody to fallback too if it does not work out. Move on with you life and focus on yourself, if she really loves you she will realize this and come back to you. The worst thing you can do is put pressure on her during this time, give her all the space in the world.

talaniman · Feb 10, 2008, 10:35 AM

You are both at the age where you are growing, and are looking for what life has to offer you. Nothing is set in stone, not even this relationship you have, and their will be many changes now, and this could well be one of them. How you cope with them is what's important right now.

s_cianci · Feb 10, 2008, 10:42 AM

Give her the break she says she wants. Let her live without you and see how it is. Take advantage of the opportunity to do some exploring yourself.

ForeverZero · Feb 10, 2008, 03:03 PM

Originally Posted by EuRa

You might be too controlling, to over-bearig

This has nothing to do with your emotional distress.

For someone who uses stephen colbert as an avatar, I find it strange that you spelled a word that involves bears wrong... or is "bearig" a super bear oil deposit hub? TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW!!

I suspect there's bear spies amongst us...