[lonleyheart_]

Hi everyone who reads this and answers to it.

I had a relationship that ended about a week ago. We were dating for one year and four months. He broke up with me because he is so consumed with work and college right now, and gets home late and does homework till really early in the morning. Everything was great, we spent our days together and all the extra time we had. He loved me and I loved him and we did. We had our fights, arguments but we communicated through them even if it took a couple of days. Then one day he said he needed a break, so I gave him that break. He promised to come back to me, but ended up breaking my heart. He says he still loves me and that his feeling never changed, it's that he doesn't want a relationship that he can't be totally committed to right now. Before all this I want to state that I was with him through his basic traning for the military for 7 months and we grew emotionaly and spiritualy stronger.
I asked him if he eventually wanted a relationship with me, and he said yes but don't wait for me and don't be disapointed if I don't. I asked him what he mean and he said if I am diployed to iraq or if he was back at traning for two years. I told him that if he loved me he would come back to me. Can someone give some advice? Do you think he loves me, and do you think he hurts for me? What should I do? Is there a chance he might come back?
We both went up to Montana and I met his family up there and we had a great time on his mothers ranch. Its sudden to me that things ended out of nowhere. I also asked him if he hurts about it and he said yes, and he just doesn't want to show it. Should I believe him?

[nkychic]

The question isn't "Does he love me", "Does he hurt for me", or even "Should I believe him"!? The real question is "Does he want to be with me?" I hate to say it, but it seems he has already answered that question. He has told you he wants to get back together someday, but immediately contradicted that statement with "Don't wait on me". You can't wait around for him to change his mind. Give him the space he needs and take the space that you need. Take this time to figure out who you are and what you want out of a relationship. Move on, at least for now. If something happens later on that brings you all back together, that's great, but you may find that your happiness isn't even with him after all. It sounds like one thing is for sure... he does NOT want a relationship, at least not right now. You need to respect that and move on.

[Melinda88]

That all does sound really heartbreaking and upsetting because you guys were so close. Maybe for your own sake you could give him an ultimatum? Then at least you could move on and find someone more available to you. You could hang around for him but then that isn't good for you and will only cause you more hurt.

[lonleyheart_]

Ill take that into concideration.

[talaniman]

Either he doesn't love you enough to commit, or he is trying to spare you a lot of heartache down the line. Whatever it is its time to watch out for you and your own life. I really think he is pushing you away for your own good.

[luluu]

It's possible he thinks that his career in the army isn't going to leave any chance for a relationship. Or what if something happened to him? Maybe he is trying to protect you?