[mjcecomc]

I have just broken up with my girlfriend. We had only been dating for two months but I already had started to develop some feelings for her. She said there was no spark in the relationship. OK, I appreciate her honesty and I will give her the space she wants.

However, my last relationship broke up for the same reason. Does anybody have advice on how to avoid this problem occurring again.

[Wildcat21]

Hey bud -

I have a strong feeling on what happened.

You need to learn what creates 'attraction'.

IF you act too anxious to make a relationship work, even if the other person initially seemed to be the one who wanted it, they will become turned off and start looking for the exits. Next time you decide you really want somebody, play your cards close to your chest. Don’t let on how excited you’ve become. Slowly over many months of time you can eventually show more commitment on your part, but do so incrementally, remaining alert to equal signs of commitment back. If at any point your devotion is more than an equal share, back off and give the other person a chance to catch up before proceeding further.

It is their perception, rightly or wrongly, that someone nice must be desperately needy. The neediness or dependent characteristics exhibited by a person are actually what is repulsive.

See - too often we want to rush into a relationship. Too often. It's not necessary.

I have a feeling you were too needy/clingy? Too available to her. Did you call her every day - text every day - e-mail everyday?

PEOPLE WANT WHAT THEY CAN'T HAVE!! Remember that.

Here's the deal - you probably were way too nice - woman don't ever feel attraction towards nice. You need to learn about 'nice guys'.

Woman ARE NOT like men - the 'feel' - men use logic.

Being all 'nice' all the time is not exciting to a woman. I am sure buy then stuff, always agreeable (get in an argument).

1. Don't be needy - get a life - a woman is part of your life, not your life.

2. Don't be agreeable with her - stand your ground - HAVE a spine - learn to always say no. DON'T let her walk all over you.

3. BE busy - don't call her every day - make her call you - make her MISS YOU - very important. Woma nis part of your life - NO PEDESTAL. Work, workout, school, hobbies, family FRIENDS etc. - these are all parts of your life. Too much contact kills a relationship.

4. DON'T BUT her affection - gifts are FEW are far between. Don't pay for everything.

5. Keep compliments to a few - LESS IS MORE with woamn.

6. Don't be ALL nice all the time - that's WUSS BOY behavior. Be a man - cancle plans - go out with the boys. TEASE HER A LOT! Bust her chops. Make fun of her.

7. Don't put up with any of her crap - like her cancelling at the last minute, walking all over you etc.

8. LEARN woman's TESTs - they test you over and over and you failed - they want a man who is CONFIDENT, has a backbone, can say no to them, put them in their place, lead!

They test with their questions - don't be all nice with stupid answers - Ask her question IF she ask you a questions.

PLEASE go to these sites are learn about relationships NOW!

www.askmen.com - READ ALL the dating articles.

www.relationships.blog-city.com - LEARN about NICE GUYS. Tests. How woman communicate. How relationships work. Learn about Wuss Boys, jerks/bad boys, bad girls.

www.lovetactics.com - read ALL the free articles.

You don't need to become a jerk - just MORE independent. Heartache IS avoidable if you understand about relationships.

I need to write a book.

[Wildcat21]

Also - YES - give her SPACE - Do NOT call!! Do not write. Do not do anything. Date other people - move on and she may come back.

DO NOT act desperate - woman ar repulsed by this.

[Wildcat21]

Also - I have a friend who says when his intersst level gets above a gal he is dating's nterest level - he backs off. Won't call for a couple weeks. Call a 'tactful withdrawl'.

You ALSO NEED to make sure YOU DON'T share you feelings too soon. Like maybe six months - 2 months and you are still casual dating.

If she tells you she loves you - tell her 'I know!' classic!

Woman are in the bizaro world compared to men. The have rush of emotions... their emotions come in waves... learn this - give her space.

[Wildcat21]

Remember - there is a BIG differencr between dating and relationship - 2 months nad YOU CAN'T let your guard ddown. You did.

WOMEN AND DATING.

It's not "women you're in a relationship with" or"special girls" or anything of the sort.

After you've gone out with a woman for a few months or so, and she proves to you beyond the shadow of a doubt that she's a great PERSON, then I think it's great to consider making her your "special girl."

And yes, the dynamics change at that point. You can be nicer... you can be more complimentary... you can do more thoughtful things... At this stage this kind of thing will have a different meaning (BUT DON'T EVER TURN INTO A WUSSY!).


But as I just mentioned, if you start talking to an attractive woman, and you immediately start with the "You are beautiful and I'm not worthy" routine, you shoot yourself in the foot.

There's a HUGE opportunity in these first-meeting situations, but most guys never even CONSIDER it because it's not what comes natural.

The thing to do when you meet an attractive woman is to actually TEASE AND BUST on her a bit, rather than giving her compliments. This effectively scrambles her whole program andcauses her to lose her composure. It takes her off guard and shakes her out of her world... so you can actually have a conversation.

Remember the Mailbag recently with the guy who walks up to women and says "Your fly is open", then walks away?

The woman always comes and finds him to say "You're a JERK!"... and then he laughs at her... and the woman winds up going out with him.

Verrrrrry interesting.

Do you think it would work the same way if he walked up to women and said "You're amazingly beautiful" and then walked away?

I think not.

So, in summary, you're right... women do in fact like compliments. But if you want to make a woman feel that magical feeling of ATTRACTION for you, then you might think twice about giving them too early on.

Women like compliments that they have to WORK FOR a lot more than the ones that just come to them... and if you're reading this right now and thinking to yourself "You know, I need to learn this stuff about how to meet and attract women so I can get rid of that insecure and fearful feeling I have", then YOU'RE RIGHT!

I think that every man should invest in himself, and learn this skill.

Unfortunately, most guys never take the time and invest in themselves... and they wind up going their whole lives WISHING that they could attract the kinds of women that they want.

Well, I used to be one of the guys who didn't know what he was doing with women. Now I'm one of the guyswho can go out anytime, in any situation and attract women.
What's the difference? I TOOK THE TIME TO LEARN.

[mjcecomc]

Well she cam back to me and she said the relationship was moving too fast and was overwhelming. She also said that she thought I was still a great guy and maybe we could out together, just as friends though for the moment though. So I guess the best thing to do is to give her space and see what happens!

[Wildcat21]

Yeah - that's a problem - rushing things early - there is no reason to do this. None. You need to see a gal once a week max and maybe twice at most early on - call maybe twice a week early on. I know you want to call her all the time and see what your gal is doing, BUT this does not work at all - stop that!!

I have a feeling you shared your feelings about - STOP THAT! Never.

See I am sure you turned into whipped - wussy boy. See - woman want confident, independent men. You need a life away from her. I sure you let her lead and make decisions - stop that!

DON'T go into the friend zone!! No! Do not! Don't call her. Do not go out as friends.

MAKE a tactful withdrawl. Do not contact her for 2 months. I know it's hard, but you can't.