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thedevil87 · Dec 5, 2007, 11:00 PM

I have known my ex boyfriend since I was 14 years old and he was my 1st everything. And we just broke up again and he's married. For me its so hard to let him go and I feel in my gut and my heart that he won't let me go, even though he's married, he told me that if I were to get married he would be heart broken. I don't get it. Just a few weeks ago he asked me for some more naughty pics of me and I told him your married but he didn't answer. I told him in resonse, you don't love me or want me anymore, he said I never said that. That was the last time we talked. It breaks my heart. What do I do? Dose he still love me? :confused: :(

enigmagnetic · Dec 5, 2007, 11:45 PM

So let me ask you, is the type of guy you like the a guy who will cheat on his wife? Why are you playing with fire? Logically does it make sense for you to date someone who is untrustworthy?

talaniman · Dec 6, 2007, 09:19 AM

Sure he loves you, but not enough to marry, but he wants to keep you as his side thrill.

thedevil87 · Dec 6, 2007, 10:03 PM

If you think that he thinks I am just a side thrill then why dose he tell me that he doesn't want to be with his wife and want to be with me? He keeps coming to me, and he told me from the get go that he and his wife were no longer together and wanted to get back together with me. I am so confussed... :confused:

thedevil87 · Dec 6, 2007, 10:04 PM

I have no quick answer

talaniman · Dec 7, 2007, 08:03 AM

Originally Posted by thedevil87

if you think that he thinks iam just a side thrill then why dose he tell me that he doesnt want to be with his wife and want to be with me? He keeps comming to me, and he told me from the get go that he and his wife were no longer together and wanted to get back together with me. I am so confussed...:confused:

More facts great, since you made no mention of his separation. Is he divorced? If not then chances are he will get back together with her. Believe me a separated guy is always on the hunt, and you have surely heard of the many separated men who get girlfriends, only to go back home, if he is indeed separated. There is a big difference between what a guy says, and what he does. Don't be so much in love that you ignore the facts, which may be red flags waving. Let me ask you, where does he live, and does he have kids by his wife?? You are correct though, there are no quick, easy answers. That is why you go slow and evaluate the facts.

thedevil87 · Dec 7, 2007, 04:24 PM

Yes he dose only one though, he told me form the get go that he broke it off a long time ago just didn't have the money to get a divorce. He told me that he still had strong feelings for me and when I found out that he was married I backed off and wanted to see how he was doing, no he wanted to see me and my daughter, I kept asking him if he wanted me to stop going after him, he told me no its OK. He was telling me he loved me and that he didn't want to be with her anymore, she was crazy. And when she found out that he was seeing me by my best friend, she was calling me a , like him he told her to not call me a and protected me from her. Yet when I was calling his wife a crack pot mother, crazy, ugly, controlling which she really is. And that his son needs a better mother then her. I thought he would tell me to piss off etc. he didn't. I told him that he never gave a damn about me and he said that it wasn't true and think whatever I wanted. To be honest he went back to his wife for his son, she looks like the type that would hold his baby over his head. He didn't want to lose me he's always been there for me and he's my best friend. I think he just doesn't know what he wants. He will talk to me when he is ready.

connie-mom · Dec 7, 2007, 04:38 PM

Oh girl you need to ditch that drama for your child's sake... if he was really in love with you he would have broke it off with her the courts would have given him visitation rights and if she is so bad and he can prove he could take custidy of the child it seams to me you are a side peace when he gets board with her he comes to you when he needs her he goes back get someone who is not knoew as a dog!! And sending nude pictures is he trying to cause a fight I know if I saw some other girl on my hubbies com,phone what ever I would trip out too and beat her butt,, you really should not be in the middle of this there are children ivolvedso step back there are other out there that are probbly better and would be faith full to you how do youknow he doesn't have another like you out there? You must think and look at the big pictuer before you just jump in I hope you feel better and good luck.

talaniman · Dec 7, 2007, 05:53 PM

I also urge caution, as all the excuses he gives can be found on the posts of other females in your position, right here on this forum. You are not alone with your experience, so protect yourself and your child, and stop taking all he tells you as gospel. I don't think his current wife is as crazy as he says, but telling you that sure makes him a simpathetic person doesn't it? That's the whole point, You only know part of the story, even if what he says is true. Can't aford a divorce, may be true as lawyer, child support and half his net woth sure put a crimp into his lifestyle right? Don't be so blinded you can't see the facts is al I say. You deserve the best, not just a rerun that failed before.

connie-mom · Dec 7, 2007, 06:02 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I also urge caution, as all the excuses he gives can be found on the posts of other females in your position, right here on this forum. You are not alone with your experience, so protect yourself and your child, and stop taking all he tells you as gospel. I don't think his current wife is as crazy as he says, but telling you that sure makes him a simpathetic person doesn't it? Thats the whole point, You only know part of the story, even if what he says is true. Can't aford a divorce, may be true as lawyer, child support and half his net woth sure put a crimp into his lifestyle right? Don't be so blinded you can't see the facts is al I say. You deserve the best, not just a rerun that failed before.

Well put

Homegirl 50 · Dec 7, 2007, 06:09 PM

If he truly loved you, he would want you to be happy with a life of your own with a man of your own. If he truly loved you, he would be with you.
This man wants his cake and eat it too, and he has it in you. If we really wanted to leave his wife and be with you he would.
Stop decieving yourself. Do you want to be the other woman all your life? Do you want your daughter to think it's all right to be with someone else's husband and repeat the pattern you're in?
Wake up and smell the BS. He loves having you there at his beck and call, he loves what having you there does to his ego, he does not love you. But if he did, you don't need him anyway because he is a man that does not have the balls to do what is right. He is a married man screwing around and that alone should be your clue to leave him alone.
I wish you well.

connie-mom · Dec 7, 2007, 06:12 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

If he truly loved you, he would want you to be happy with a life of your own with a man of your own. If he truly loved you, he would be with you.
This man wants his cake and eat it too, and he has it in you. If we really wanted to leave his wife and be with you he would.
Stop decieving yourself. Do you want to be the other woman all your life? Do you want your daughter to think it's all right to be with someone else's husband and repeat the pattern you're in?
Wake up and smell the BS. He loves having you there at his beck and call, he loves what having you there does to his ego, he does not love you. But if he did, you don't need him anyway because he is a man that does not have the balls to do what is right. He is a married man screwing around and that alone should be your clue to leave him alone.
I wish you well.

Well said

Fr_Chuck · Dec 7, 2007, 06:15 PM

just tell him you will send those pictures of you to him though his wife.

Since he obviously does not have the moral values to know he does not fool around while married, thank God you did not end up with someone who would be willing to cheat to easy on his wife.

Run away from this one as fast as possible