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Well you have a strong head, and mostly know what to do... sometimes we just need to hear confirmations of what we already know. You said it perfect in your last response... it all sucks, and we like to give our love...
Time only heals that part, that part will be filled again, whether it be with her, or someone else... you have to be positive though. If you just KNOW 100% that you are meant to be together than KNOW you will be in time... if you are not so sure, know to not keep your eyes closed and that feeling will pass |
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Know what helped me a little too... I found myself always wondering what he was doing, or thinking, or wondering if we would get back together...
So I did this: well I'm not calling him. (and I put myself in his shoes)... It works the other way too. In time she'll say... I really thought he'd be there, why hasn't he tried to call me? What's he doing, did he forget about me? Did I mess up? That's the stuff that will get her thinking, so keep strong... that part usually works. |
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Time... that forever constant. The only cure for a broken heart is time. Seems like a cruel joke does it not? I appreciate the words of encouragement, I do. But things are much easier said then done. To not call or message her has put my limit of restraint to the test. Its like Adam and Eve if you know the story. The point of NC is not to win them back. As someone posted (sorry I can't give credit atm) It will either bring them sniffing around or high fiving their friends you haven't talked to them. But I can not sit and wait for the false hope as time does not stop for anyone. If I sit and wait life will pass me by. I have not turned down any social invitations. I even went out with some friends I never really have.
I am not in denial, I'm not sitting waiting by the phone or on the computer for a possible message. I have even opened myself to a former friend who had an interest in me and mind you still does. I am not looking to open another chapter at the moment but to be able to talk and she can relate to my situation helps. I am ready for what ever is waiting down the road. |
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She messaged me.I lost the other part she messaged me. Basically asked me how I was. I said fine asked her. But after talking and she explained I did need to let my feelings go for her. She lost internet and then this her best friend messaged me F.U.C.K this.
Steph: Nate, britt wanted me to tell you that her internet isn't working...she's off watching a movie...but we need to talk...just you and me... wikedjuggalo1001: :/ wikedjuggalo1001: Talk away. My heart is broken. Steph: Nate, first of all, i've seen your myspace...you need to take micheal buble OFF of your page and stop blogging like an emo kid...you're not emo..and trying to suck every last drop of sympathy out of everyone will only make you feel worse...i'm your friend and i'm britts friend, ans as your friend i will say thart britt was a sucky girlfriend, she beat you up and made you do things you didn't want to do... wikedjuggalo1001: Look I did what I wanted to Steph: i honestly do not think this is love, i think you think it is because she was with you for so long and was affectionate wikedjuggalo1001: Is that what is is about? She thinks she wasnt good enough? Steph: i'm just saying...start the healing process, stop moping around... Steph: NO lol hell no wikedjuggalo1001: I am starting the healing process wikedjuggalo1001: I didnt talk to her wikedjuggalo1001: I removed her from my life. wikedjuggalo1001: I'm trying wikedjuggalo1001: You try having your heart crushed Steph: ....been there done that ... Steph: this is your first big fling...it's hard i understand that but you're only hurting yourself more wikedjuggalo1001: Stepg wikedjuggalo1001: You know what it took for me not to call her wikedjuggalo1001: and wikedjuggalo1001: Not meaning to sound angry Steph: you'll look back on this and think "we really weren't right for eachother" Steph: it's ok Steph: i felt it... wikedjuggalo1001: Sigh wikedjuggalo1001: I thought I felt something too wikedjuggalo1001: I thought I felt it when she looked me in my eyes and said I can't wait to marry you Steph: i remember my first thought when i saw how you guys were toigether.....i thought "she's gonna hurt him without meaning too" Steph: nate...release....you need to let it go....the sooner you do the better it will feel wikedjuggalo1001: I have been wikedjuggalo1001: I truly have been wikedjuggalo1001: But it wont be over night wikedjuggalo1001: Nothing hurts more then being left for someone else wikedjuggalo1001: and I'm not being emo Steph: i know, just don't mope...ok? you've been online ALOT...you NEVER blog... wikedjuggalo1001: I have left my stuff up wikedjuggalo1001: if you must know I have been out with friends and such wikedjuggalo1001: I went bowling and such Steph: i just don't want you to fall into some pit of despair...you know? wikedjuggalo1001: I'm climbing out of it after someone threw me in it wikedjuggalo1001: Or was attempting too Steph: lol..nate this si what i'm talking about...go look, a great guy like you will find someone A THOUSAND TIMES MORE AMAZING... Steph: is there anyone you even looked at or thought of when you were together even in teh SLIGHTEST??? wikedjuggalo1001: Honestly one person but I didnt want to end what we had Steph: who was it? wikedjuggalo1001: Does not matter that ship sailed away Steph: well who...now i'm curious lol wikedjuggalo1001: Kristi. But I don't wanna hear well maybe you should be with her wikedjuggalo1001: I know what my heart wanted wikedjuggalo1001: I will heal and move on Steph: brittany want you to be happy...she really does because you are a great guy. Steph: brittany want you to feel what she's feeling...listen, she thought she was inlove too until it REALLy hit her, she still cares for you alot...and wants you to be happy... wikedjuggalo1001: Yeah I will eventually wikedjuggalo1001: I wont heal from being left for someone else over night wikedjuggalo1001: Its not human too Steph: i know, i just thought you needed some tough love, you know...tell you to get off your and find someone new, because mostly everyone will just ptiy you and call britt a and ... wikedjuggalo1001: Yeah I told them I didnt wanna hear it wikedjuggalo1001: I'm not looking for sympthay Steph: good...do you want any of your stuff back? britt was talkign to me about it the other day and she said she'd talk to you about ti but i guess she forgot...we'll bring anything you want back over wikedjuggalo1001: What ? Steph: all the stuff you gave her and stuff wikedjuggalo1001: I don't want anything back. wikedjuggalo1001: Thats just retarded Steph: ok lol Steph: is there anything of britts that you wanna give back to her? wikedjuggalo1001: She can have her calculater back after Pre-cal or after I get money to buy one Steph: has she talked to you about it? wikedjuggalo1001: No wikedjuggalo1001: I don't want to wikedjuggalo1001: This is it. wikedjuggalo1001: You want me to heal......... Steph: ok Steph: yes Steph: i do... Steph: get rid of all her stuff, heal, find someone that you truly love wikedjuggalo1001: I already did wikedjuggalo1001: got rid of it Steph: it'll hit you....lol wikedjuggalo1001: I'm glad it sounds that easy wikedjuggalo1001: But goodbye Steph: ok...bye wikedjuggalo1001: I hope you and Jason stay happy, I hope she will be happy Steph: i hope you will be happy too wikedjuggalo1001: She crushed my heart wikedjuggalo1001: But I'll get over it in time Steph: like a rock.. i know.... wikedjuggalo1001: Glad its so easy for her Steph: i know you will..^_^ wikedjuggalo1001: Really does speak volumes of how she felt about ,e Steph: love is love nate...she's in it wikedjuggalo1001: Which is great Steph: she wasn't INlove with you nate wikedjuggalo1001: I'm glad wikedjuggalo1001: I know that now wikedjuggalo1001: it has been made clear, It couldnt have been waived any closer in my face wikedjuggalo1001: Goodbye wikedjuggalo1001: I hope she stays happy with him and you with Jason I can be free. I know how she feels now. The questions were answered. I'm not crying I'm not shaking. I can see now. I can see he friend was right. I would jump through hoops for her. I thought it was love, but it truly was not. Now I must begin to find one who will. I can see now We'd do anything she wanted to regardless of my feelings. That's not right. Everyone's post make so much sense now. It was what she wanted when she wanted that's not a healthy relationship. Now I know. |
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Even after it makes sense it doesn't... lol. :)~
I know you may be ready to move on, but another piece of advice... heal first before you date anyone you remotely care about, you might realize later you weren't ready and end up hurting them... I think you mentioned a friend? If you are thinking of starting something with this friend, and she felt for you all this time, then she will want you to heal first too. AND be able to wait. The worst thing of all is being hurt and then hurting someone else... it's happened to me before, and the only reason... I didn't give myself time to heal and feel all that I was supposed to. |
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I am getting off this roller coaster. I told her I don't need to be contacted again. Looking back I see I was blinded because someone showed me affection. Stupid mistake. But now I know. I have learned.
I won't go around starting a relationship I'm not ready too. I'm not completely healed but I'm off the roller coaster. I was healing over this NC part. But now I don't see it as a NC time. She doesn't exist in my book anymore. There is no need too. It was made clear she did not love me, and looking back I am doubting what I felt. I wonder if it was just the affection that clouded me. Mind you the sex was great I'll miss that. But I won't miss running around doing stuff. I mean I would do anything, but that boils down to more of what kind of person I am then I was blinded. I am happy when I see other people happy and by doing stuff for people I do just that. Something dawned on me lol. She didn't get my blog about the missing item. She brought up maybe she had something I needed back but it wasn't an item it was my heart I needed back. She returned it when she had this conversation. But now I jump back into the sea of people, I have been out of it for a while. Everyone thanks for the advice. Taking some of it I think helped me not be cut as deep. Looking back the question that ran through my head were answered. I can let her go for good now. I will take time to look back on the relationship and see what I did that was unhealthy and right off the back her best friend pointed it out. I did anything and everything she asked for. That's not healthy. I know she had feelings for me and I defiantly do/did for her. But it wasn't love it was affection for each other. It ran its course. I won't let life pass me by. I will embrace what is out there and know one day I will be happy with the one for the rest of my life. Down the road. Now to bed. No more sadness no more sleepless nights. |
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We're here if you "relapse" haha. Just kidding... not really funny but sometimes we think we're ready, I've had enough, I'm not stupid, I'm moving on, etc.
This part at least makes us smarter and wiser, and another step forward (which is always good) but sometimes, just when you think you are ready to move back on, the memories creep forward. I hope this doesn't happen for you, but of course we are here if it does. |
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Yes, very important that u see that everything wasn't a lie. Every good memory is worth holding on to. You're are going to be very okay... you're not lost, and you know what to do. It just sucks that it happens. But we learn and we grow and it makes our next relationship better because we know more of what we want, what we want to give, and what we'd like to experience... sweet dreams my dear <3
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I'm feeling pretty good this morning. There was a message up from her Best Friend asking if I was o.k etc that she didn't want to sound mean last night etc. I just closed it and continued getting ready for school. For the first time in 2 weeks I did not have a dream of her. I instead had a dream of losing my college ID, which I hope I do not.
I did have some negative thoughts last night but I dismissed them. I only woke up once for a little while. I'm hungry... I'm not completely done but after last night I do not know something was lifted. |
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I'm not completely done but after last night I do not know something was lifted.
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 Originally Posted by busterite
I can see clearly now it was not really a healthy relationship as I stated I did everything she asked trying to make her happy. I guess the attention plus the sex blinded me. She didn't take advantage of me in the way of money or anything and she may not have really meant to. |
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Well today has been good. I'm in the process of planning a trip to WV. Sometime next month. Be nice to have a vacation. I'll have my check from school and such so ^^. I still am thinking of her but not hurting like I was. Like I said just memories. I do not how to explain it to be honest. After that conversation something was lifted.
I can not thank everyone on here enough, although I did not want to believe it. |
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I am finding I am having feelings rekindling for this old girl who moved away. I am taking it very careful. I do not want to hurt or be hurt. I have spoken to her a lot on myspace lately. I do not want to leap frog into anything so I won't. I am going to keep it cool and calm.
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