[Suelle383]

Thanks guys. Its just so frustrating cause he'll just shutdown and stop communicating. Well, I just called and left a message and explained myself and told him I hope he's having a good time. We'll see if I get a response. I just hate waiting...

[confused25]

Hello Suelle! I'm sorry to hear that you two have hit a little bump in the road. Well first of all, just relax and remember that it's only a bump that you hit. Most all relationships have those big fights every now and then. Once you have your composure I think you should call him and leave the following message (if he doesn't pick up):

"Hey sweetie. I hope you are having fun on your trip. I just wanted to apologize for the way I reacted the other day. I hope you know that I'm not mad at you for going on the trip. Hopefully we can talk about things when you get back. Once you get this message please call me back if you have the time so that I know you're safe and you're having fun. Love you, bye."

Once you leave the message don't bother calling him again. Just give him his space and wait for him to respond. If he does pick up then just talk to him for a bit and let him know how you feel. Don't use any accusatory language and just communicate with him. Also, make sure you tell him that you hope he is having fun. Well keep us up to date. I hope all goes well.

[Suelle383]

Thanks everyone. An update. He texted me to say he's sorry too and he was really mad, he just needs time to cool down. We're going to discuss why we're arguing so much when he gets back. Well, I feel a lot better.

Its just frustrating cause he doesn't understand that he hurts my feelings some times (even though he doesn't intend to). He does the same things to his mother and friends and he just doesn't get how he can hurt people sometimes by not meaning to. He just doesn't get it. And this kind of thing was the reason we broke up for a couple of months over the summer too so I get nervous and frustrated when it starts happening again.

[miss931]

Ok, so my bf and I of almost 4 years got in a fight Saturday morning. We hung out Friday night and everything was great. Then Saturday morning I asked him if he was coming back over to my place after work and he said he wasn't sure. (I hate it when he won't give a yes or no answer so I start getting upset and keep asking). Finally he blurts out that he thinks he's going to go up to Vermont to visit his friend for a few days since his other friend is going up so he can get a ride. So, I go ballistic and start yelling and crying. The reason being because I had to drag this tidbit of info out of him. Rather than just being upfront, he withheld it. He says he only found out about the trip the day before which I believe but I was so upset that he didn't just come right out and tell me and I blew up. He stormed out and left saying this is exactly why he didn't tell me because he knew I would be mad and I haven't heard from him since. Now, its Tuesday night and I don't know what to do. Should I call him and try to explain the reason I got mad. I don't want him to think that I'm mad that he went on this trip....i'm just mad that he wasn't open with me. I don't know what to do. I know I should probably just wait for him to contact me, but I don't want him to think I'm mad about him leaving. Aaghh!! He can be so frustrating! He probably won't pick up when I call anyway. Help!!!!

Wait for him to call let him cool down he is missing you just as much as you are missing him so just wait for him to call

[yeye82]

This reminds me of why my boyfriend and I fight all the time bcoz we re-act to each others words and actions. As we learnt our lessons - it hurts every time we fight, now we pause a bit and think whether we should re-act or act according to our conscience. It's much better now... hope this helps.

[talaniman]

Seems after all this time, you two would have figured out that you need to know how to communicate, in an honest, RATIONAL way.