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Romefalls19 · May 6, 2009, 12:44 PM

This is where my method of thinking comes in handy.

You're either with me or against me. No such luck between

But maybe that's just me

nicolerocks711 · May 6, 2009, 01:52 PM

Well I think she is with me, lol. It's just that my ex really f-ed up my life and I'm still trying to rebuild it

Romefalls19 · May 6, 2009, 01:56 PM

My fiance's ex did the same thing, she didn't come with any of her exes friends though

I wish · May 6, 2009, 02:04 PM

Did I miss something? I thought you guys broke up already? Why do you care who she talks to? You are obviously still affected by her actions.

Instead of telling your friend to stop talking to her, you should tell your friend to stop giving you updates about her.

Move on with your life and stop trying to controlling her and your friend.

nicolerocks711 · May 6, 2009, 03:14 PM

I wish, my ex is a guy and my friend is a girl lol.

liz28 · May 6, 2009, 03:26 PM

Everyone is free to be friends with whoever they want. The fact remains that she was with him first.

Now you can tell her that you would appreciate it if she doesn't mention him while she is hanging out with you.

nicolerocks711 · May 6, 2009, 03:29 PM

Well she doesn't "hang out" w/ either me or my ex. She lives 75 miles away from me, and he lives 500 miles away from me

nicolerocks711 · May 6, 2009, 09:04 PM

Threads merged to keep the story straight

Ok, so to my knowledge, my ex is not seeing anyone and hasn't since me. But considering he lives 500 miles away and have been in no contact for almost a month (and he stopped starting contact a long time ago) who knows. I just know that when/if he does date someone after me I will want to pull out both of their eyeballs and make voo doo dolls of them :P

How long did it take you to get over your ex?

Romefalls19 · May 7, 2009, 05:15 AM

It took me around 2 months to say I was completely getting over her, which each passing day after I started NC it got better. She actually accused me of never loving her because she said I just stopped talking to her like we didn't even know each other.

kctiger · May 7, 2009, 06:06 AM

Takes a LONG time to get over someone you have a deep and genuine loving feeling for. A month, no. Hek, it took me I would guess around 5 months before I could say it didn't hurt anymore and I could actually sleep on a nightly basis without some sort of help. You will get to a point where you don't care.

I am over my ex, but I do remember when I found out she was dating another guy, and, naturally, that still stings a bit, but it doesn't effect me for more than 30 seconds or so. You will get there. Patience, it is the key to every good thing.

talaniman · May 7, 2009, 07:09 AM

The healing process varies from person to person. How bad to you want to rebuild your life, and how hard you are willing to work on yourself, will make a difference, but it takes as long as it takes.

chuff · May 7, 2009, 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

The healing process varies from person to person. How bad to you want to rebuild your life, and how hard you are willing to work on yourself, will make a difference, but it takes as long as it takes.

I decided to constantly strive for betterment for myself and my mental health a few years ago. You have your down times to be sure, I don't think you can work on yourself for month, and when your feeling better suddenly stop improving. Self awareness and improvement should be a lifetime thing. You don't have to do it daily... but you shouldn't start and then stop either. Every time I have stopped, I seem to fall backwards. So when Tal says it takes as long as it takes, I think you can also tell yourself that contant improvement should become a life choice not just a one time thing.

liz28 · May 7, 2009, 07:49 AM

Your ex is your ex but the journey can be rough since he is the father of your son.

It is sad that he doesn't have anything to do with his son because believe me he will regret it late on in life. This just shows what type of man he is, not one.

The only thing you need to do right now is to focus on your son and yourself. When thoughts of him sneek into your mind think of your son and how he isn't in your child's life.

The path of healing depends on you. You have to gather up all your strength and willpower. Your feelings will up and down, down and up. But just remember what don't kill you only makes you stronger. And even if you are son try to cover it up because you don't want him to see mommy sad. Btw, if you have to cry, then cry. It is better to let it out then to keep it in.

cjeep23 · May 7, 2009, 08:26 AM

This guy sounds like a real winner! First of all, he hit you that is totally inexcusable! Move on, even though that may be hard, its what you have to do. Your son is better off without him as a father. If he hit you then chances are he would also be abusive to your son. You don't want that!

If you don't like my answers, tough deal with it!

nicolerocks711 · May 7, 2009, 12:54 PM

Thanks everyone

nicolerocks711 · May 7, 2009, 05:45 PM

Threads merged

I really don't want to, but I feel like I am just waiting for my ex to come back and I know I shouldn't be like this, but I don't know how to feel differently about it. We have basically been broken up for 2 years now and I went on like one date since then that went horribly. Looking back to when I was together with my ex it feels like it was a story, like it didn't happen to me. It just seems like how I was then is really different then how I am now. And that is probably true, because when you are left high and dry and pregnant there isn't much left to do except become a bitter person who talks about it on online forums :P

It's been almost a month of no contact, so what should I do?

ajGambino · May 7, 2009, 06:26 PM

It's only been a month of no contact. The fact that he left you high and dry (and pregnant... ) shows how much he really cares for you.

You deserve so much better then that and the reason the two years of breaking up hasn't treated you right is because you didn't treat the break up right. If you were in NC for two years, you would be long gone of this whole mess.

Keep NC, be strict to yourself not to mess up on NC and just think about how horrible you have to be to leave a person is such a dilema. You deserve much more then what he was offering and keep the NC so you can finally realize the reality of his ways and ultimately the truth about him.

bswc · May 7, 2009, 06:36 PM

It sounded like you didn't moved on. Time passes but you are stucked in somewhere behind time! Get yourself out, if possible get the feelings out of your mind. Well we ALL think about the pass, the good things that happened together... we're like angels, now we're like devils bla bla :D

Dude, no more waiting. God is the ruler of your life, just accept what god wants to give u, because there's always a better coming, anytime, anywhere * not just love.

nicolerocks711 · May 7, 2009, 06:52 PM

Well I really don't think I could do 2 years of NC. I just don't understand how he can not care.

JoeCanada76 · May 7, 2009, 06:53 PM

Your making the worse mistake of your life. Never wait for an ex to come back. Ex is an ex for a reason. 2 years.. Wow, time to move on. Really. Reality time is now.