[crazyoverher]

Interesting heartbroke.

But if he acts like this now... then shouldn't his friendship still be good? Why throw that away? But I can see what u say.

[heartbroke]

That's up to you to keep his friendship, ask yourself though, are you only keeping him around because he is the last link between you and your ex? Or do you value him truly as your friend. It seems like you still have hope to get this girl back.

[ImTotallyLost]

Is he your only friend right now? If he is, then you might as well use him, but try making another friend. If you have other friends, try to get closer to them and let this guy do his thing.

It doesn't matter if he'll bring up the ex or not, every time you see him, the subject will be around. Don't worry. If he's a good friend, he'll understand. And if doesn't understand, well, his loss.

[crazyoverher]

Well heartbroke, you speak a lot of truth but unfortunately just like imtotallylost said, at the moment he is my only friend.

Like I have said in past posts.. my whole life was her. She had her girlfriends but I just had her and that guy.

I'm open to making new friends... but at work, there's no one that is cool.

And totallylost, what do you mean by use him? U mean that as long as he doesn't say anything about her, then just hang out until I can make some new friends?

THANKS...

[ImTotallyLost]

Yep, that's what I meant. But he's not your best choice right now. I'm solidary to your quest for a friend - I'm having a couple of issues with that myself - but keeping common friends around are just a bad idea.

[crazyoverher]

Oh OK... so have as minimal as contact as possible except to hang with him when I need to but then cut him out of my life as soon as I can?

[crazyoverher]

Guys...

Thought I was over this.. but I have slipped back into feeling down. Its like I had 5 steps forward and then BOOM - for today , all I can do is just remember the "good times"... any suggestions other than staying busy?

[kctiger]

Be patient...

[crazyoverher]

Thanks kctiger.

Well it was kind of strange today... I was down... then later in the day, I got upset, so I was "fine"... then back to down. Whatsup with that. It shouldn't be like that.

I'm no mental case and that's bothering me enough thinking that I'm not tough enough to just shove it all and be "happy"...

Anyway... just some comments.

Be patient... though kctiger... sucks a$$. I don't want to wait. I want it now. You know?

[crazyoverher]

I've always been in control on everything in life... and now in a matter of 5 months... ive turned everything upside down... no job, no home, anxiety, and no woman. Not self pity but sheesh... cmon now. Enough is enough.

[crazyoverher]

Can't remember who said it on this thread... but yes I am grateful for my health. I have that and the best body I've ever had because of going to the gym and taking out my frustrations.

But the nights sure are lonely you guys.

[Depressed lady]

Hey I have been reading about your situation!! From a girls point of view, OK you have gathered that the way she has treats you is not right!!
But if you really want this girl to come back to you, is NC whatsoever!! No texts,e-mails,calls or ANYTHING!! You watch he will contact you, she will wonder why you have not been in contact and if you loves or even cares about you she will contact you. If she doesn't then just know she doesn't love you and this should make it easier for you to get over her!! Good Luck and wish you all the happiness and you sound like a genuine guy, which is hard to find these days!!

[crazyoverher]

Hi! Thanks for your words depressed lady! I haven't read about your situation but I hope your doing well too.

Yeah, I haven't had any NC with her. Its been real hard and I have always done something with her after fights... we broke up many times and I always texted her... even if it was for once a week...

But this time, I haven't done a thing! Yesterday, I saw her in her car and I KNOW she saw me... but I didn't acknowledge her at all!! I wish I could find out what she was thinking when she saw me... because its been almost 2 months now.

Anyway... yeah, I agree, I put a deadline for her to call me at around late April... if she doesn't I told her not to contact me again. Not even to email me to tell me why she doesn't want to be with me... that I won't answer her emails or taker her calls.

I think that she figures that I would have called or texted by now... shes probably coming to the conclusion that she really mis judged me... but if she was looking for a way out... then I sure am helping her do that.

And yeah, if she doesn't do anything then your right... she doesn't love me anymore. And that would make it easier for me to move on...

Still, after all that we shared... its hard NOT to believe that she doesn't love me... I kindda feel that she does but is trying to fight herself from realizing that...

[crazyoverher]

And another thing...

I know she could get a hold of me through our mutual friend but I changed all my emails adresses and cell phone number, so she can't just text me or email me like before. I made it hard for her to contact me directly but I guess if she really wants to...

She will find a way... dont you think?

[Depressed lady]

Yes you are right, if she wants your number she sill defo find a way to get it- its not hard!!
But just be patient and remember everything happens for a reason. You know my situation now and I find it really hard not to contact him too. Its been 4 years and now he has a GF and that's the hardest part- but I know he is not serious with her because he would NEVER marry her-cause he is Indian and she is half cast, which is against his relegion. Hw told one of my cousins that he is with her to try and move on as he waited 4 years and then the year I got married he decided to move on, but then he was already with this girl when my marriage ended. That's when he started being really mean to me and I know he was upset with me for getting married- but anyone would be right? Anyway we still in contact once in a while and now he has 2 numbers one for me and the other for his Gf and the rest of his friends and family. I love him very much and when my marriage broke down I just started to think what if we are meant to be? I know you may think I'm crazy but do people never change. When I first met him he was not abusive, but began when he heard some rumours about me and became protective. I believe everyone deserves a second chance.
Are you saying if your EX comes back you won't take her back?
Its easier for me I guess because I'm in uk and he is in Africa. But just by meeting him once or even having one phone conversation with him, I would be able to tell if he has changed or not.
I haven't rang him and waiting for him to make the move now-if he doesn't then I will defo move on.
So you are no the only one- I don't sleep at night, go mad thinking about what he is up2? What he is thinking. I know he loves me and he even told smeone that I will always love her but tell her to be patient. I can't just dump my GF - she has feeling too. So I'm confused. I think he is doing this all to make me realise- he plays a lot of mind games so I never know what he means and what he doesn't.
What do you think?
U doing well by not contacting her-so congrats!! :)

[crazyoverher]

Hi everyone!

An update... I still have been doing NC and its working in so far as although it still hurts.. it doesn't as bad as it did a month ago. Don't get me wrong its still torture, but I'm losing some feelings - if that makes sense... I can just feel it.

Anyway, I still am in contact with our mutual friend though and he has NOT said a word about her because of my request. So, that's good but I don't know if she's asking or he's telling he anything about me.

No, I'm not whining to him about her. I'm not saying a word. Anyway, I'm going to have a beer with him this Friday... see what happens... it will be THE test as far as if I can hang out with him or not.

Comments? If not, cool... I ll let you know!

[crazyoverher]

But you know people... im sure in a big way I'm using him to still have her somehow connected with me in my life.

I don't know its letting go but very slowly... its not that I'm in denial.. but it seems easier for me to gradually ease into it...

Just a thought.

[tony71]

Man you are like me. My girlfriend broke up with me after 5 years, today is a week we have been broken up. In the past 5 years we broke up twice and the same day I was the one that went back to her, this time I decided I won't go back. If she really loves me then she needs to contact me. 5 years, talking of marriage, but the issue was she was relgious and wanted me to convert and I said no. Relgion is evil, it breaks hearts and souls, I say.

Anyway, I'm in the same boat. During the day I feel fine but then at nights its like a f$King roller coaster ride. Last night I couldn't sleep and I haven eaten anything for dinner for the past few days.

But I see you have progressed a lot, you went from being out of control and wanting to text her to not giving a now. I hope I move along as you did.

trying to understand myself...help me out:

why is it that im so strong in the daytime and then at night i fall "victim" to my emotions?

just curious....anyone been through that? a little help please for tonight...

[Romefalls19]

Tony, same advice I gave to crazy, when you have those sleepless nights, grab a book or watch a movie. If you have an xbox360, hit up that for awhile. If you fill your day with activities, you will be so tired when you get home you will pass right out

[tony71]

Rome,

I'm thinking of getting Xbox360, but I think I will try to workout too.

Thanks for the advice.