[dutchess]

2 yrs. Ago I met someone... both of us are married. He's married 17 yrs. 25 for me. We met walking our dogs in the park. Don't know where to begin... we had lots in common, he has met my husband, I have met his wife. Oh gosh, this is going to be too long of a story. Let's see. We got very close over two years I bought him gifts, he got me stuff we literally in two years have not spent one day without seeing each other (using dog walking as an excuse) our partners obviously didn't like it but we went out anyway until thi past December. He had open heart surgery. Before surgery one day I went to his house as was my custom to pick him up to walk dogs (I had a jeep I used my car) he was busy at work and didn't get to call me to tell me to come later. Wife just came home from work and nailed me. We started talking lightly about his heart condition and I guess she had the opportunity to tell me some of the things like don't come see him in the hospital (immediate family only, she said she didn't appreciate my telling her husband what to expect when he came out of the operation, I should have let the doctor tell him, and some other stuff). Anyway, then my cell phone rang it was her husband telling me he was still at work. I guess she didn't like that.

After the operation he called me. He told me we would walk the dogs again, but then one day I called the house (which I had done before) apparently, she had had enough he told me she was on the war path not to ever call. He waited a couple of days then called me. He said she wasn't going to stop. I don't know exactly what she was saying. Long story short we are going out again but only in the am not at night like we used to. He said she was watching the cameras that are outside his home to see what time he left.
I don't know what is going to happen.

I want things to go back the way they were (I know that's sick and they won't) but what should I do?
Please help. There is some much more I could say but it is just too long:(

[fredg]

Hi,
You are playing with danger!
I am 64 yrs old, been married now for 29 yrs to a very wonderful woman (second marrige; first ended in Divorce after 7 years).
His wife is trying to tell you something. There is a reason she doesn't want you calling his house... know what it is? She doesn't want her marriage broken up in divorce.
If you keep thinking about this man, and how wonderful a time you have with him, your own marriage is in deep trouble, whether you realize it or not.
Please try forgetting about him and start paying more attention to your husband. It will be hard at first, but what do you want out of life? Do you want your husband? I do wish you the best of luck.

[confuzed]

You did not mention YOUR husband much in your post at all. Where is he in all of this? Does he know that you were seeing this man? Are you having problems in your own marriage that need to be addressed. Since you are both married and your relationship seems to have gone beyond a simple friendship I would suggest you two stop seeing each other before you both end up divorced. His wife is obviously aware that something is not right between the two of you and could be trying to salvage her marriage before it is too late. Think of how you would feel if it were your husband out seeing another woman. I think you should figure out your own marriage first and then worry about this other man.

[Wildcat21]

You're 1000% selfish. I feel really bad for this guys wife. I bet he still loves her. You are ruining TWO marriages. Leave him alone unless he divorces as well. Take care of your home FIRST. And I feel really bad for this GAME you are playing behind your husbands back.

This is a form of cheating. You are cheatin gon your husband.

[CaptainForest]

If you honestly can't resolve the problems with your husband, then leave him.

Perhaps your boyfriend will also leave his wife too. But stop it with the sneaking around.

[Fr_Chuck]

This is really wrong and no you don't need that way of life back, get a new hobby, walk your dogs in a different place. You have started an unhealthy relationship that has gone beyond where it needs to be. You can have friends, that you and your husband see together.

You are cheating and you can cause a lot of pain in both relationships.

[dutchess]

Thanks for your advice. I just want to know why it sounds like everyone is blaming me only. He pursued me I'm not making excuses I truly know what I have to do (end the relationship) but I don't know why you are all saying I'm ruining his marriage. He is no better.

[dutchess]

You did not mention YOUR husband much in your post at all. Where is he in all of this? Does he know that you were seeing this man? Are you having problems in your own marriage that need to be addressed. Since you are both married and your relationship seems to have gone beyond a simple friendship I would suggest you two stop seeing each other before you both end up divorced. His wife is obviously aware that something is not right between the two of you and could be trying to salvage her marriage before it is too late. Think of how you would feel if it were your husband out seeing another woman. I think you should figure out your own marriage first and then worry about this other man.

My husband knows we are friends because he comes to the house sometimes, barbecues fixes things around my house. This guy was my brother in law's friend first. What do you mean his wife is obviously aware that something is not right between the two of you?

[confuzed]

my husband knows we are friends because he comes to the house sometimes, barbecues fixes things around my house. this guy was my brother in law's friend first. what do you mean his wife is obviously aware that something is not right between the two of you?

By something is not right between the two of you, I just mean that she probably sees that you two are a little beyond the friendship stage in your relationship. I understand that it takes two and that you are not the only one who is involved, your gentlemen friend is too.