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talaniman · Jan 20, 2006, 08:36 PM

There's a healthy way to live and love,and there's what you have a very unhealthy way to live and love! The very fact that you feel torn apart is reason enough to take a closer look at your actions!You are willing to cheat on your b/f to have that emotional cuddle ,but you sacrifice your mental and emotional self to get it,that's the easy way out and have you overlooked the fact you should be talking to your b/f about your needs instead of cheating with a cheater,you two probably deserve each other since neither cares about the important people in their lives,so selfish of you both.Trust me you will never be happy until you grow up and learn to live a healthy life.:cool:

maria26 · Jan 20, 2006, 11:39 PM

Ok I don't know who came up with the theory that all woman will hate you for this... I don't! I have been tempeted myself to be with a married man... however I did not because they had a child and I would never interfer between a family... I would however rethink it if they did not have a child. Does anybody take into consideration that there is something wrong with both yours and his relationship. Both of you need to rethink what you want from each other. If his relationship with his wife was wonderful he would never have touched you or continued this... believe it or not females,men are far more devoted to there wife's than the female is to there husbands! However, if you expect him to leave his wife... dont... I agree he probably won't! Go somewhere clear your head... and than face both of them after you have decided on what you want to do!

Wildcat21 · Jan 21, 2006, 01:44 PM

The cheating married guy will lie cheat and steal to get a woman into bed. They prey on insecure, low self esteem women. 99% of them will NEVER leave their wife. They will tell you anything - even if their wife thinks the marriage is great.

You must have low self esteem to have to consider a married guy and all his baggage.

There are so many single guys out there. Why go to a amrried guy - who is a liar and cheat? Two fine qualities in a person = nope.

It's the old: People want what they can't have.

Then the woman falls for the guy and just strings them along.

maria26 · Jan 21, 2006, 01:54 PM

I agree with what you said... there really shouldn't be any reason why people should go after married men and they probably won't leave there wife's. But it is not always because of low self esteem... You don't plan on it. If you see someone on a daily basis and more than you do your boyfriend or whatever, the possibility of having feelings for that person rises. Now wheather it should or it shouldn't, its human nature.And I do agree we always want what we can not have... but before we take action we have to analyze everything before we jump... that is why I personaly did not take any action with the married man. I hope that she too, rethinks what she has done and confronts both the married mand and her boyfriend.

Chery · Jan 21, 2006, 10:16 PM

Where have you been. We have not heard from you for a while, and I hope you are OK. Please give us a sign that you are still around and let us know how things are going.

Please remember that once a man cheats, and is used to how easy it is to do, there will be one basis that you will never be able to be comfortable with and that's TRUST. Once a man gets used to that kind of routine he'll continue to do this for as long as he can get away with it - and where does that leave you?

The following are from previous advice given and they certainly apply here:

If you're feeling a little bit unable to cope, go easy. Give yourself the pep talk you need, and if that doesn't work, then find a way to pamper yourself until you're ready to make your move.

It's a great time to think about where you came from, where you are, and to start making some tentative movements toward where you want to go. Anything that you don't like now you can change.

I hope all is well and also that you reply as soon as you can. Remember, no matter what your choice, we are here for you and don't judge. We all need someone to talk to now and then, and we'll be here 24/7.

Good Luck!

Yup, it really hurts sometimes!

Wildcat21 · Jan 22, 2006, 06:49 PM

The married guy cheated on his with you. He WILL one day cheat on you - no question.

Why would any women get involved with a liar and cheat? He completely deceived his family. What else is he lying about - money, finances, STD,

Hey, I have two friends who cheat on their wives - I hate it. I see what they do - they tell women ANYTHING to get them. And it's only for sex - AND thesewomen FALL for it - get feelings for these guys and TOTALLY get hurt and ruined.

Wildcat21 · Jan 22, 2006, 06:50 PM

You need to tell this guy to FILE for divorce foryou ever see him again.

He needs to SHOW you how he feels - not say it. Filing, and proof of filing will letyou know it's over with his wife.

blueiman · Jan 26, 2006, 09:05 AM

You want what you can't have. The married guy. You got your husband. And don't even want to be with him. Why don't you grow up and tell your husband you want to break it off. You will be doing him a great favor. He will be crushed or maybe it will be easy once you tell him you're fu*&ing another man.
Either let you husband go. Or, start acting like the wife you're suppose to be.
This really makes me mad to realize there are women/men out there who do this crap. But, o well. It happens all the time.

Some women are like monkeys... they won't let go of a branch until they get ahold of another.

Wildcat21 · Jan 26, 2006, 10:10 AM

Well said my man - more and more women are cheating and feel no regrets about it. It's always the husbands fault right? Even though most women can not control their feelings and do not use logic.

In this case that gal was single. Being used by a married guy. The old married guy who lays on huge lines of BS to con the single gal into sex.

She had been with him for over a year - AND guess what? He was still with his wife!!

The stats say these guys only leave 3% of the time from their wife to the mistress.

blueiman · Jan 26, 2006, 10:41 AM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

In this case that gal was single. Being used by a married guy. The old married guy who lays on huge lines of BS to con the single gal into sex.

Correct! He lays down a huge line of BS. Yup. Glad someone out there understands what I'm talking about.

Parvan · Jan 27, 2006, 12:59 AM

Break it off with your boyfriend immediately, you are cheating and while you can't really be expected to respect this married guys wife's feelings you damn well should respect your boyfriend's. Yeah you are behavign badly by carrying on an affair, but you are being a total b***h by cheating on your boyfriend and betraying his trust. Sorry, but that's the way I see it.

Bren · Feb 11, 2006, 11:17 AM

It's not only that it's "wrong" but it's really bad for your health. Don't you look at Court TV, girlfriend!! You took the first step by admitting that you have a problem and that it's tearing you up. So now, walk away. No, run away. Your heart will heal, trust me.. . And everyone else to e's you back.

lilfyre · Feb 12, 2006, 02:59 PM

If you are not happy in your relationship move on, do not hurt the guy you are with any longer, that is so sad, and as for the guy, you are leaving your boy friend for, of course he is going to be affectionate to you, you are different than his wife, but now you are hurting two people, it is truly sad, try finding some one that does not have a commitment to someone else.

nwsflash · Feb 12, 2006, 03:00 PM

Well put I always agree those strings will only lead to pain in the end... Live your life be free and enjoy things.

confuzed · Feb 13, 2006, 01:13 PM

I know it may be the hardest thing for you to do but stop the affair. Stop lying to and cheating on your boyfriend. The man who is married is not good news. Even if he did leave his family for you would you ever truly be able to respect him or yourself in the relationship? This is not the way to go. Be true to yourself and as hard as it feels right now put an end to it before it goes too far and more people get hurt.

Wildcat21 · Feb 13, 2006, 01:27 PM

He won't leave his family - I promise you that - only 3% do.

It all sex to him - nothing more. If you can handle that, then I do advise counseling because this is REALLY unhealthy - one day you WILL realize this.

All I ask people with married guys is too STOP the sex, ask him to divorce... you WILL see where you stand... you WILL see him RUN!!

maria26 · Feb 13, 2006, 05:22 PM

I think that's a good way of putting it wildcat21... stop the sex and see if he still sticks around and gets that divorce.

Wildcat21 · Feb 14, 2006, 08:25 AM

It truly is - then you see where you really stand.

BUT, they'll never do that... there in bad relationship/unhealthy realationship/used relationship... they are clueless.

Chery · Feb 16, 2006, 03:24 PM

Being a woman, you broke one of our most golden rules - don't do unto another woman what you would not want done unto you!

You know that any man who cheats on his spouse will cheat on the one he's cheating with - even if he leaves the spouse and marries you, you will never be able to trust him outside of his arms.

Second, the other rule you broke was to start something at work as wildcat said 'company ink'... NO, NO, NO, NEVER!

Now, as far as your boyfriend, tell him the truth, leave him and let him find his own share of happiness in this condemnable situation you created. You don't love him, because if you did you would not have done this to him. So be WOMAN enough to be fair to him and give him a chance to find happiness with a woman who will appreciate him and not just use him for a filler when the other c**k is not around (excuse the foul language, I'm not usually this irate!)

You are a woman who makes us all look bad and after reading some of the ways a lot of men have been treated here, you should have known better.

Yes, there are men who play with us and hurt us to no end, but that does not mean we have to lower ourselves to the worst animalistic level imaginable just for a romp in bed and maybe a promotion at the job. Those days should be gone - and it's women like you who keep this crap alive! This action of women like you puts us years back and it's Innocent women who have to go through hell to prove that we are not the evil sluts men think most women are.

So, I'm NOT sorry you have sleepless nights and can't find peace - you don't deserve it unless you make things right and stop this viscious pattern.

THIS IS MY OPINION, AND NOT THE OPINION OF ALL OF THE PEOPLE ON THIS FORUM AND I STAND FOR EVERY WORD I WROTE HERE!

If at one time your heart ever warms up and you need someone to love you - it will be too late unless you give your evil ways up. P.S. HE'S NO BETTER THAN YOU EITHER!