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kate2 · Oct 22, 2007, 08:50 AM

Okay, I have not been able to talk about this to anyone except for my sister and her advice didn't help. I recently found out that my husband's best friend who is also my bestfriend's husband is attracted to me. I have been attracted to him for at least the past year and we admitted to one another that we are tempted by each other. Now I can't get the idea out of my head that I want him desperately. We both love our spouses and our children all play together, we are not willing to risk anything but there is still the fact that we want to get it on. Its out there and it's driving me crazy. My sister said do him and move on, you will have that one time and then you will be able to see that the fantasy is way better than the complications of reality. I don't think either of us trust that we could keep the secret, one of us is bound to have a moment of morality and feel the need to "come clean" to a spouse. So that's it, I don't think anything will happen but I think about it so much I don't know what to do with myself, I bide my time until I see him again just because we always kiss hello and goodbye. Someone please help I'm going insane.

donf · Oct 22, 2007, 09:41 AM

Kate,

Stop where you are and think! Please consider that you gave a vow to your husband, not his friend or anyone off the street.

Are you willing to pay the price in guilt and worry about discovery. Is it worth putting your entire world at risk? Think of the pain and suffering you will put your husband through if your activities are discovered. Does your husband merit that misery?

Stay home and tell your perspective boyfriend that you are married and any playing around with him would be wrong!

erlobenauer · Oct 23, 2007, 03:49 AM

Actually - to start, I'm very surprised that your sister would tell you to get it on with him then move on. Is she married?

Temptations are put in our lives in my opinion to test our will in order NOT to pursue them. Being attracted to another person and wanting to rip their clothes off isn't a crime - but a married person shouldn't be thinking them, period! If you have to, cut all ties and communications with him until this feeling of ' lust ' goes away.

msilva76 · Oct 23, 2007, 07:43 PM

I think you should just keep imagineing about how good it would be and that's as fas as I would go with it cause once you would do anything with this guy all the wondering of how good it will be would be gone plus its your best friends husband how would she feel? And your husband? It would hurt him badly and what about the kids if it would come out that you had an affair with this guy chances are the kids will no longer play together so maybe you should think about the kids when your in the heat of the moment with this guy

KelseyBom · Oct 24, 2007, 10:18 AM

I cheated on my husband once and I've regretted it every day of my life... please please please DON'T DO IT! I know it's hard... and I know deep down you're hoping someone will tell you do do it... but seriously think about it... you have kids... you have a husband... I've bene through a divorce and it was the worst thing I have ever been through. Take yourself out of temptation... you need to not see or talk to him again... down the road you will be so thankful you never did anything. It'll be hard but you need to quite cold turkey... avoid him and the feelings will start to fade... I'm positive about that.