[Cher13]

Wow that's to bad it didn't work out for you, have you moved on sense? Found someone else?

That's very true about both people needing to give it there all inorder for it to work, I don't know how to do it though, get out... the second he hells me what I want to hear I'm back beliving that we'll be fine

[GlindaofOz]

Then stop talking to him. You have to decide who you love more him or yourself? Its good that you recognize that he is simply telling you what you want to hear. Talk is cheap. Here is a great lesson that I wish I got in my early 20's was don't listen to what they say pay attention to what they do. If there is a disconnect then they are not the right person.

I've met a lot of great guys since him. Some I've had awesome connections with but not married yet. I however remain eternally optimistic.

[nkychic]

Okay you may not like what I have to say. This is just my analysis based on what you have said. I could be totally wrong but here is what I think. He wants to break up. When guys want to break up they look for reasons to not see you and make up bs excuses and say "oh I have to work late" and I have this obligation or that obligation. They will also "forget" to call you back or call you at all.

What is your sense of this situation? Your a woman you got the ladies intuition going on. What does your gut say?

I agree totally with what Glinda said. Guys that act this way are usually looking for a way out, but don't want to hurt you. (Even though in retrospect, they are hurting you more). Basically what it seems like he is doing is trying to make YOU leave HIM so that he doesn't have to be the one to say the words. I say let it go. See what happens. I know it sounds cliché, but it's true what they say, "Sometimes you have to let something go just to see if it will come back again." It may not seem right at the time, but love goes both ways. If he's not doing his part to keep the relationship strong, then it's not worth it. You can't play both parts. Take some time for yourself, think about things, and give him some time too! Good luck girl, hope everything works out for you (I'm sure it will... who knows, your happiness may lie somewhere you never dreamed).

[Cher13]

Thank you for all the great insight... I helps me open my eyes, even if its just a little wider.:)

[MakitaAyema]

however it turns out for you remember that all people and things come into your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime. You just have to learn to accept this and realize who your looking at for each of them. When there reason or season is over you just have to learn to let them go, even if it hurts. My mom always tells me to just relax and things will get better. Good Luck =o)

[talaniman]

I think your holding on to a dream of what was, and its causing you a lot of misery because he doesn't give what you expect from him. For whatever reason, I think its time to leave him alone, and move on to someone who better treats you like you want. You can't make him do anything he doesn't want to and his action say, he doesn't want to make you feel wanted. Let him go and heal yourself by finding happiness without him, for your own sake.

[talaniman]

I have read all your other posts and think you should let this go as its not worth the emotional drain on you and not worth maintaining. Find a better way to live.

[Cher13]

:( so I had plans with my boyfriend today (who I haven't seen in 2 weeks) and for about the 100th time he called me 30mins before our pland started saying he doesn't think were going to do anythig tonight... made up some lame excuse of course and I just felt like some one riped out my heart once again, I told him that I'm getting sick of him standing me up and never having time for me, all of a sudden he freaked out and started yelling at me telling me I'm to needy, that he can't handel me and compairing me to his ex's, saying that he's sick of hearing my same sob story over and over again, and I said that the reason you keep hearing it is cause you haven't done anything about it, and we ended breaking up. It seems like I did the right thing but I amd so hurt and upset that its over I keep thinking what if I made the biggest mistake of my life? Should I have kept my mouth shut? Should we try to work this out? I'm just so friken sad right now I don't know what to do, I'm so lost!! Can anyone offer some advice?

[Cher13]

I'm so upset feels like I can't breathe

[GlindaofOz]

Cher you made the best decision you could have. I really think this guy is going to keep doing this bad behavior, walking away then pulling you back in. You have to decide that the cycle is garbage and that you want nothing to do with it.

You deserve someone who will not break promises to you with some lame idiotic excuse. You are worth WAY more then that. Look at your picture you are a total doll and from what I've seen of your personality on here you are a sweet girl. You don't deserve someone disregarding you. You are better then that.

[Jiser]

Feck him. Don't look back.

[Sandstorm99]

Don't let him call you needy because he is the rude piece of crap. I'm sorry but this behavior can only get worse. My last girlfriend used to complain about different things in our relationship but I never, ever stood her up. She should date your boyfriend and see what disrespectful is all about. That is very rude and highly disrespectful. To get someone's hopes up about doing something together and then backing out. And not just once. And 30 min after so you have no chance to make plans instead. Boyfriend or not, these types of people that break plans are some of the worst.

You weren't needy at all. You made a wise decision.

[daisydew]

This is the best decision you could have made. You don't deserve someone who compares you to their exes and is always coming up with lame excuses for why he can't hang out. Good riddance to him, and one day you'll meet someone who treats you so well you'll wonder why you were ever sad over this guy!

[talaniman]

Congratulations for cutting the confusion from your life. He wasn't worth it.

[s_cianci]

You say it was "about the 100th time" this happened. I could see where he'd call you too needy, etc if it happened once or twice. But if it's the kind of habit you're suggesting then there's definitely something not right. I think you did the right thing in breaking up with him. Now I hope you'll be strong enough to stay away. After all, how much of a "relationship" do you really have if he's constantly cancelling plans on you at the last minute and then not understanding why it upsets you? You have a "phantom boyfriend" at best and you need and deserve better than that.

[Cher13]

I was doing OK from my breakup yesterday, realizing that I don't deserve to be treated so badly, when my ex called me/text me over and over and over till I finally answer'd only to hear how much he loved me, wanted to be with me and that us breaking up doesn't feel right... the problem, I have herd this before, not just once... my heart wants to give it another go but my head is telling me to wise the hell up, I'm so torn, I don't know what to do!

[Cher13]

I've never been more confused and hurt in my life, as some of you know I have been having relationship troubles for the past 4 months and me and my boyfriend ended it... I was so hurt and just trying my hardest to get over it until Sunday night when I received a text message off my ex's phone saying "who the f*uck is this, and what s going oon between you and my bouyfriend"? So frantically I called him 100 times texted him 100 times but there was no answer, I couldn't sleep, was shaking violently I felt like I was about to die!! The next morning I gat a call off a random number asking me if my ex has told me about her, I was like "NO, is this a joke??? whats going on" she goes on to tell me they have been together this hole time, are ingaged, live together and the part that almost killed me was she said they just had a son together 20days ago, not to mention this was a planned pregnancy" I felt my heart sink into my stomic and almost couldn't breathe... so he calls me at the same time prettymuch, claiming it was a one night stand at a christmas party(when we wernt together), she only contacted him 4 months ago(witch makes sense for his weird behavour) that he was scared I'd leave him so he didn't tell me, and he never wanted to hurt me, and that everything she's telling me isn't true that she just is saying that cause she knows he loves me and wants to be with me and can't handel that, so now I don't know what or who to believe, I want to be with him so much and I love him more then anything but she says if he's with me she'll never let him see his son again, I don't even know what to believe... and the worst part is he doesn't even want to be with me right now, he needs to figure everything out, I told him that he should be with his son and pretend I never exsisted and not to contact me cause it just didn't seem like I fit in anywhere, but he still is and I still answer, I don't know what to do, I've never been so hurt or connfused in my life! Please someone help me with some advice!

[Cher13]

He said he never cheated on me and wants to be with me, just not right now, am I just being strung along? I know he's going through the toughist time of his life and I want to be there for him, but am I just going to get hurt in the end?

[GlindaofOz]

I would believe her.

And IF she is lying this woman is always going to be a part of your ex's life since they have a child together. So she will always be causing problems if that is in fact what she is doing.

Could you call her and rationally speak to her about this? If they are living together and are engaged she will have to have some proof of all of this. If she is more then willing to provide you with proof... well if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck it's a duck.

[GlindaofOz]

I just have to add that reading you other post below your OP that I think you are the other woman. He wants to keep you on the side while he continues on with his life with this woman.

I really suggest talking to her.Find out what she knows about you and find out as much as you can about your ex and this other lady.