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Did I do the right thing?
My boyfriend has been telling me he loves me, AT FIRST I just pretended not to hear him, thought he'd get the hint.
When he didn't, I told him "Pat, I enjoy being with you and hope we last a while but I am just not ready to say "I love you" back to you. I don't know if or when I will be. I hope you understand." He hugged me, kissed my hand, then had to go to class. I haven't been able to talk to or see him since then, but he didn't seem upset. Did I go about this the right way? What I want to know is if I went about this the right way or I should've handled this better |
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In all fairness without merging your previous posts, most of us are not going to know if its right or wrong. And that's a big job so be patient as we get the whole thing straight and any help in that regard is more than welcome. So what has happened the last few weeks since your break up and dating? Is this a new guy, or what. Details. |
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This has nothing to do with any previous posts, this is a new guy, I've never even mentioned him on here before. This new guy has been a friend of mine for the past school year, and been the only guy to truly treat me "well." I decided that what I wanted was to be happy. So when he asked me out at a dance we were working at for teens with special needs, I agreed. He is the kind of guy who believes in treating a woman like a princess, but not being overbearing. We aren't rushing anything. Except he started saying he loves me, and it made me uncomfortable because I am not ready to feel or say that toward anyone yet. I've seen him at his worst and his best, seen him angry and seen him ecstatic. I like him. I enjoy being with him and like having him in my life. |
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I just don't want to rush into anything. Including saying "I love you." I don't feel it, and won't say what I don't feel. Even if I did, I wouldn't want to rush. With my x, we rushed into everything. I want to take things slow for once, as does my new boyfriend |
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E-mop My opinion is that it's a huge Red Flag for HIM to be saying this to you already , * he knows you've just split up with your fiancé * he knows that your pregnant with your ex's child * he should know not to pressure you into anything this early Sorry but I really think if you want him as a friend fair enough , but that's all he should be at the moment , otherwise we're just going to have you back here in a few month's saying that you haven't only lost another BF but you'll also have lost him as a friend. Plenty of time later on down the track once the dust has settled. Anyway that's just my opinion :) Edit: Oh and sorry I didn't answer your original question , yes I think you did the right thing ;) |
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M, just to clear something up, she's not pregnant, she was but she lost the baby. E-Mop, since your break up you've gone on a date with a guy that you really liked, but he's older then you. Then that guy was out and your ex girlfriend was in. Now she's out and there's another new guy. My head is spinning. Didn't you just break up with your boyfriend? You say you want to take things slow but all I see is you speeding to jump from the frying pan into the fire. I think it would be best if you just didn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend for a while. Spend some time dating yourself. :) |
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 Originally Posted by friend4u178
I'm looking at all of this from experience. I was the girl that dated a lot (shh M, no comment ;)). It didn't get me anything but heartbreak and a bad reputation. There's nothing wrong with being alone for a while. It did me a world of good. :) |
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Emop, I think in regards this situation taken as a sole island you did the right thing in being honest. But as a whole I do think that you are rushing. However, I worry for this new boy too. Who doesn't get upset when they say 'I love you' and doesn't hear it back? No one! Who says they love someone no-time into a relationship especially when they know what you've come from? There's a lyric from a song that I think says it down to a T 'The shadow that your standing's on still here sometimes that's all that you can ask, and your heart's still beating' It's by Josh Ritter 'Still Beating' you should have a listen, I think it's a great song, but that's just me... so I've got a bit off point here... Just be careful you only get one heart and if your not careful you're going to spend a long time trying to repair damage you haven't dealt with fully. You are the only one that can heal you, no knight in shining armour. No matter how willing he is. |
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