This is what happened to me several months ago which resulted in an end of a 5 year relationship.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...-196772-2.html
To those who recently broke up and came from a long term relationship, and may feel lost, desperate, as if life has no more meaning.. well... that's VERY NORMAL, and it's OKAY to feel that way! It's well understood you would feel that way, especially if you were the breakee. Like everyone says, it gets better with time... BUT it also depends on what you do that makes it better.
If you sit there daily, thinking about the person and desiring to get back with them continuously, or devicing a plan to woo them again or make them jealous, or day dream about the person and your past, it can be 5 years or so and you won't get better, but actually worse off if you continue this path. It's not just time that heals you, its also in you and what you do that either catalyze, or stunt your healing process.
I was there, I did all those things... I moped around and felt sorry for myself... I felt much worse and it didn't solve anything. In the end, the best thing to do is to pour your feelings into something productive and at least less harmful. It really does help.
An example I did is that whenever I missed my ex, and good memories begins to flood in, I counter it out with what she did to me recently. She broke up with me, left me for another guy, and treated me like crap during that process. This in term made me begin to realize, if she was such an amazing girlfriend, why would I be feeling this way now.
Furthermore, other than thinking, do something to let that emotions out... Do something you had no time of doing... anything.. Find an output. I found several which I thought doesn't help but did. I play the guitar but never really got good at it until now. I would constantly play and at the same time, I would sing too. I can't sing but I just do it anyway because it really helps. It's emo but who the hell cares right lol?
As for being angry... all I did was take it out at the gym. Not only did I release my frustration out, I tired myself out for a good night's rest, and really improved my image. ^_~
You can't sit around and wait, you have to do something about it as well...
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Anyway, I believed I progressed really well, but now I came to a point that I need another advice from you guys!
You see, I reduced contact with my ex to basically none. However as of late at least once a week she would text me, IM me (shes not in my buddy list anymore), and not often called me a few times.
Sometimes, I ended up IMing with her but not a lot. I guess I wanted to test where I am at. Anyway she wants to be friends but I believe that that crap is BS.
Anyway in the end, I had to attend a wedding a week ago and saw her. Sadly I had to see her twice in a week, and she brought her new BF along.
I wanted to be civil and I said hi and shook both their hands especially since they were also amidst our circle of friends. I was confident to say the least but all through the night I didn't talk to her directly and responded when she did so.
In the end of the night she IMs me saying somewhere along the lines of I'm at odds with her still because of what she did and she got slightly annoyed. I mean I don't want to talk to her because I don't really want to be her friend because she disgust me as a human being on the way she treated me.
Here is a huge mistake I made recently. She invited me and my friends to go our and eat and see a movie. I went... huge mistake but well learned. She was with her BF again. As we all hanged out, she made out with him and went full jive with the display of affection. It's only been 4 months since she broke up with me and I was a little phased. Who wouldn't..
I didn't really talk to her and we really never chatted. However it did seem obvious that I didn't strike any conversation with her.
The question is that: I'm doing this wrong eh? am I empowering her by avoiding talking to her? She even told me when she was pissed after the wedding night that the reason why I'm acting the way I did was because I was still at odds with her. Basically I broke her encryption and shes thinking I still have feelings for her. Vain as it may sound.
What do you guys think I should do now, I came a long way but she's breaking my frame a little. Perhaps I should just cut her off completely... What she pulled last night, with the making out etc, shows me seevral things... I don't know any comments from you guys will help! Thanks for reading