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New Member
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Dec 22, 2007, 04:24 PM
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Scared that my boyfriend will leave me
My boyfriend and I have been going out for awhile now and now he is ready to become a dad, I have been trying to get pregnant for two months now and nothing is happening, he thinks that something is wrong with one of us. He said that he loves me and that he wants to spent the rest of his life with me but I am scared that he will leave me if I can't get pregnant within certain period. I love him so much and I don't want to lose him. What should I do? My boyfriend and I are both 22, I am not trying to have a baby to hold on to this guy want this baby too and I want to have my own not adopt and I sure he wants to have is on too, my mother had me when she was 23 so I've always wants to have my first child when I'm 23.
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Dec 22, 2007, 04:28 PM
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Two months is nothing. It took me nearly three years to get pregnant with my first one. Other women have similar stories.
If you are afraid he will leave you if you can't get pregnant quickly, I am betting the ranch that you are having a baby for the wrong reason, i.e. to keep him around.
Please re-examine your reasons for wanting a child in your life.
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Uber Member
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Dec 22, 2007, 04:28 PM
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First of all, I'd wait until you are married before getting pregnant or attempting to get pregnant. If you make a mature, responsible decision to become parents but find that you are unable to conceive, there are other alternatives such as adoption.
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Ultra Member
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Dec 22, 2007, 04:35 PM
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"I love him so much"... Another woman in love who will do whatever it takes to please her man. I am old fashioned and agree that you should be married because that takes care of a lot of legal issues that could arise during the life of your baby. You should see your doctor right away, and he should see his also.
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Senior Member
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Dec 22, 2007, 04:41 PM
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Yes, married is best. But, if you guys have your mind made up that you want a baby now, the first place you should go is the doctor's office. Actually, it's a good idea for both of you to go. You need to make sure that you are healthy enough to be pregnant and there may be vitamins you need to take too.
Two months isn't that long. I know it seems like it when you are trying, but lots of couples try for longer than that before they can conceive. The doctor can check everything out, make sure there is nothing wrong with you or him, like low sperm count, etc.
Please don't have a baby just because this guy wants one now. I'm not saying you are doing that or anything, but if you are, reconsider. If you are afraid he will leave if you can't have a kid, then maybe he isn't the right person. You guys could always try in vitro, adoption, etc.
But, that being said, good luck to you guys! I hope all works out and you have happy news soon! :)
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Ultra Member
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Dec 22, 2007, 04:43 PM
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How old are you guys..
If I hear anything along the lines of... I'm 17... and the guy is 29? I'm out of here.
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Ultra Member
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Dec 22, 2007, 04:47 PM
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Remember, practice makes perfect.
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Expert
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Dec 22, 2007, 04:54 PM
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Absolutely married is best. You know the statistics are higher that he will leave you when the going gets tough with the baby if you AREN'T married.
Two months is not a long time. My mother tried for 7 years before she got me.
Having a baby before marriage is no way to keep a man, actually it is the best way to get rid of one. LOL
You also sound young. There are many pregnancy related problems when a woman is 19 years old or younger that can put your health, and the health of your baby at risk.
I am curious hun, why do you want a baby now? Do you understand the expense involved with raising a child?
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Expert
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Dec 22, 2007, 05:11 PM
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I get suspicious when the ages are hidden, and to have a child for your boyfriend to stay with you, is the dumbest Stupidiest, most immature thing I've ever heard. If that's an indication of age, you flunk. You both need to wait to grow up. Kids playing grown-up is no place for a baby.
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Full Member
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Dec 23, 2007, 09:19 AM
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Originally Posted by shauna cooke
My boyfriend and I are both 22
She said in her post that they are both 22 years old. I wouldn't consider this kids having kids, but still a bit immature if she thinks he will stay with her if she gets pregnant.
I think they are right, you should wait until you are married. Having a baby so that he will stay with you is not right. Bringing a baby into this world with a job of keeping you two together is not a healthy relationship for the 3 of you.
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Expert
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Dec 23, 2007, 10:26 AM
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Originally Posted by talaniman
I get suspicious when the ages are hidden,
Apparently she edited her post to add her age.
Shauna, please scroll down to the bottom of the page, you will find a box there where you can respond to the other posts. I causes much less confusion that way.
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New Member
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Dec 23, 2007, 10:30 AM
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My boyfriend and I are both 22, I am not trying to have a baby to hold on to this guy he want this baby too and I want to have my own not adopt and I sure he wants to have is own too, my mother had me when she was 23 so I've always wanted to have my first child when I'm 23.
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Expert
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Dec 23, 2007, 10:33 AM
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Sweetie, what we want and what we get are sometimes different things.
You should, however, get married first. Have you read all of the threads here about how they BOTH wanted children... until she got pregnant, or until the baby came? Or how about the ones where they want to terminate parental rights
It's much easier to get out if there is no marriage license. Yes, one can still get divorced, but just walking out without a license is so much easier.
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Junior Member
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Dec 23, 2007, 10:45 AM
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There are other ways I think of becoming pregnant like I don't know where you do it but they take your partners sperm and fertilize your egg with it so that is a nother rout you can take and yes it sounds kind of embarrising but its possible
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Expert
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Dec 23, 2007, 10:47 AM
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Originally Posted by macman11393
There are other ways i think of becoming pregnant like i dont know where you do it but they take your partners sperm and fertilize your egg with it so that is a nother rout u can take and yes it sounds kinda embarrising but its possible
Yes, and that costs tens of thousands of dollars.
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Expert
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Dec 23, 2007, 11:49 AM
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How long have you two been together? What kind of relationship do you have, and do you both work? Are you stable, as far as finances go? Sorry for all the questions?
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New Member
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Dec 23, 2007, 12:00 PM
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Originally Posted by talaniman
How long have you two been together? What kind of relationship do you have, and do you both work? Are you stable, as far as finances go? Sorry for all the questions?
We have been together for a year now, we have a good relationship, we don't fight and he makes me happy and yes we both work, I am a payroll clerk and he works two jobs, he is a waiter at two different hotels
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Expert
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Dec 23, 2007, 01:01 PM
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Whew, I get a lot of these questions from young folks, so I have learned to be cautious, but it does sound like we have a longterm relationship that is committed to each other, so be patient and keep trying, that's half the fun and don't stress. Both of you get checked as a routine to good health. If you have been using the pill it could take a while, but between two healthy people chances are, it will happen soon. Good Luck, and keep us updated, with any questions.
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New Member
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Dec 17, 2011, 12:56 PM
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Well I'm 18 and my fiancé is 25 and we just started trying to have a baby. We've only been trying for a month but I am still skeptical that maybe I can't get pregnant because we had unprotected sex a lot. I'm not getting pregnant, however, to just please him or to just keep him around because I know that he will never leave me. We want a baby because we are both finacially ready to have one. Yes I am young, but I am old enough to know what I want in life and I know that I want to have my kids with my fiancé. He is a wonderful guy inside and out and I love him to death. I wish the best of luck to you Shauna. I'm pretty certain that you will end up pregnant because you guys are both young but I would recommend that you both go to the doctor to get checked out. I would also suggest you buy ovulation kits and fertilty pills to help speed up the process. If your boyfriend smokes, does drugs, or drinks a lot of alcohol, you need to tell him to stop. He won't be so enthusiastic about it at first, (trust me), but tell him that he can start back again after you get pregnant. Smoking, doing drugs, and drinking a lot of alcohol decreases your guys sperm count which will make it harder to get pregnant. Also, if you do any of these things, this will also lower your fertility and actually age your ovaries. I hope that you found this information helpful and don't let anyone tell you that you are too young to have a baby. It's no one else's situation to judge, only yours. I've had many people confront me about me being engaged at such a young age and I know that I will get hateful comments by me saying that I am trying to have a baby at 18 also. But it really doesn't affect me because what one person wants is not what everyone in the world wants. Hugs and Kisses <3
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