well this is my story:
I've been going out with an older guy. I'm 18 and hes 33. our relationship is good. but sometimes he does this thing where he disappears. he doesn't call me or text me or anything for a whole day. most of the time hes either drinking or doing drugs type ! he did that on Sunday and today he got mad. saying that i need to stop trying to control him and that just because he doesn't call doesn't mean hes dead or something like that. but it hurts when he says these things to me because all i want is to take care of him. i don't want him to drink. and when he does this...i end up getting really depressed and have thoughts of suicide or thoughts of cutting (which I'm trying to stop!!!) i love this man so much! he is my first boyfriend the first person i love and the person i lost my virginity to. I'm afraid hes bored of me. that he realizes that he already got what he wanted so now he can leave me and forget me. it just hurts soooo bad. and every day i feel like I'm loosing myself little by little...i just cant take it sometimes! even my friends tel me that i look sad all the time and they want to see me happy again. i just don't know what to do!! i don't want to leave him! hes my everything!!!!! sometimes i just wish i could die...maybe then i wouldn't be a bother to him anymore...i don't know i just need someone to help me!
Delete his phone number and block him from your phone.
Someone who really loved you would not act the way he does. Please believe me on this. You love who he was not who he is. He is a different person now then he was when you first started dating. Its hard to let go of the past and live in the present. But he is not the same man. No one who loves you would let you feel as if you are suffering in this relationship. Thats not love.
Delete his phone number and block him from your phone.
Someone who really loved you would not act the way he does. Please believe me on this. You love who he was not who he is. He is a different person now then he was when you first started dating. Its hard to let go of the past and live in the present. But he is not the same man. No one who loves you would let you feel as if you are suffering in this relationship. Thats not love.
i know...thank you. im trying soooo hard to forget...and its gonna take me some time. i just wish he could understand how hes making me feel...but i cant even talk with him. the healing is gonna take me a while since i still love him even though hes been acting so mean to me. but in trying.
To be brutally honest he may not even care how he is making you feel. This guy sounds really selfish and I have a feeling the only person he cares for is himself.
Will you look into the mental health services? At your young age you can nip a lot of this bad stuff in the bud. I wish at your age I had instead of fumbling through my early 20's going from one bad relationship to another and have guys just treat me bad. Please don't do that to yourself. Its not fun and it really takes a long time to recover from.
To be brutally honest he may not even care how he is making you feel. This guy sounds really selfish and I have a feeling the only person he cares for is himself.
Will you look into the mental health services? At your young age you can nip a lot of this bad stuff in the bud. I wish at your age I had instead of fumbling through my early 20's going from one bad relationship to another and have guys just treat me bad. Please don't do that to yourself. Its not fun and it really takes a long time to recover from.
it hurts to know he doesnt care...because i wish he did...i cant believe i trusted him. he even told his parents that we were gonna get married. and they were so happy...god this hurts.
im looking at the mental health page cuz i really want help. i dont want to end up commiting suicide...i dont want to end up that way...i want to be happy!!!
Well I certainly hope that you wouldn't let some jerk of a guy who can't see how amazing you are be something to throw your life away over.
Counseling will help you find your self esteem and self worth. Help you see that you don't have to deal with someone who treats you bad that you are worth more then that. I know how hard it is when you feel rejected by your parents and you aren't shown how someone is supposed to love you and that you should be cherished by your partner.
I see myself in you. When you are in a bad situation you want someone to rescue you, love you and pull you out and take you away to someplace better. The one thing I've learned in my life is that sometimes you gotta rescue yourself. You have to be your own knight in shining armor. If you can do that for yourself and love yourself and believe in yourself you will have no trouble getting through your life.
Well I certainly hope that you wouldn't let some jerk of a guy who can't see how amazing you are be something to throw your life away over.
Counseling will help you find your self esteem and self worth. Help you see that you don't have to deal with someone who treats you bad that you are worth more then that. I know how hard it is when you feel rejected by your parents and you aren't shown how someone is supposed to love you and that you should be cherished by your partner.
I see myself in you. When you are in a bad situation you want someone to rescue you, love you and pull you out and take you away to someplace better. The one thing I've learned in my life is that sometimes you gotta rescue yourself. You have to be your own knight in shining armor. If you can do that for yourself and love yourself and believe in yourself you will have no trouble getting through your life.
Thank you for all your help. im glad i decided to join this site. you have all helped me so much. i'll check in tomorrow to tell you my progress^^
thank you
Luv,
Frankie
Good! I'm so pleased to see such a difference in you today.
I know it can seem silly but I really do care about you getting better and feeling better. I'm sending you hugs and lots of wonderful, positive energy.
Personally, i know what i have to say may not be in your favour, but from what you're saying i think its probably an obsesion. and these things do happen to people but its not a very good thing....like glenda said...i would advise you to see a couselor..not necessarily for drugs n so on but atleast to get some professional advice. Him being away from you for long periods are not very positive signs from someone who claims to love you....i believe he might be seeing someone else....this is just my assumption....but he probably duz not know how to tell it to u in order to prevent you from getting hurt or he just duzn't want to get rid of you since he's got someone who wud do anything for him.....i always think that the weaknesses you have in you for others should be kept to yourself depending on what it is...like the cutting and the suicide....dont let a man know that he can do all these thigns to you then he wud feel like he has u around his little finger and so he can do whatever he wants to.....this is where you have to put ur feet down and get him to respect you.....you need to do it very early in any relationship otherwise you will find yourself in alot of trouble and pain......you need to take urself out of this relationship....you are very young and i believe most persons go thru the phaze in life when u first meet someone u have all these feelings for, u feel as if you can never fall inlove again with any one else or as much as you did with that one person....its not true.....there are lots of fish in the sea.....take urself out of this and spend sometime with urself....maybe meeting other persons may help...socially.....sometimes it helps alot....speak to ur parents about ur situation...you may not have a good relationship with them or them wiht u but believe u me, they will never let u down....seek advice from them and others and please try to take urself out of there before it gets worse...its just not a healthy thign to be in esp at ur age. Good Luck!
well this is my story:
I've been going out with an older guy. I'm 18 and hes 33. our relationship is good. but sometimes he does this thing where he disappears. he doesn't call me or text me or anything for a whole day. most of the time hes either drinking or doing drugs type ! he did that on Sunday and today he got mad. saying that i need to stop trying to control him and that just because he doesn't call doesn't mean hes dead or something like that. but it hurts when he says these things to me because all i want is to take care of him. i don't want him to drink. and when he does this...i end up getting really depressed and have thoughts of suicide or thoughts of cutting (which I'm trying to stop!!!) i love this man so much! he is my first boyfriend the first person i love and the person i lost my virginity to. I'm afraid hes bored of me. that he realizes that he already got what he wanted so now he can leave me and forget me. it just hurts soooo bad. and every day i feel like I'm loosing myself little by little...i just cant take it sometimes! even my friends tel me that i look sad all the time and they want to see me happy again. i just don't know what to do!! i don't want to leave him! hes my everything!!!!! sometimes i just wish i could die...maybe then i wouldn't be a bother to him anymore...i don't know i just need someone to help me!
i think the reason you think he is your everything is because he is your first real boyfriend when i first dated my first boyfriend i was so upset when he started acting distant and everyone thinks what would my boyfriend think if i died how would he react THAT IS NOWHERE NEAR THE ANSWER .. thats a perminant solution to a temporary problem. obviously if your thinking that your wanting to kill yourself your not in a good relationship your a young girl and hes 33 he has alot more relationship experience then you you need someone whose going to apreshiate you noone and their is someone out there.. you dont diserves to be walked all over who the hell does he think he is telling you not to worry about him being dead he should be flattered he needs to be set straight hes a screw up.. a 33 year old should be married.. not doing drugs and not telling someone who cares about him not to worry about him dieing.. guys are dumb and this one clearly isnt worth one second of your time GET RID OF HIM hes no good for you. you can do so much better =]
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