should she call

hair2007 · #1 Jul 1, 2007, 05:40 AM

hi every one... im posting this question for a friend who is here with me right now..
that sounds like im lieing,lol, but read my own posts, i have my own problems lol...

anyway, she is with a guy she has been on and off with for about a year now, they got back about 2 months ago with him being the one coming back saying give me a chance. so, long story short, it came to her that he has been talking, seeing once or twive a new girl, all the while still with my friend. she has this girls # from someone that knows about it.

it has been 2 weeks that this started. she asked if i thought its considered cheating, and if she should call the girl. my answer was i think its emotional cheating, possibly leading to more if not already, and im stuck on the call her part.

As for the guy, she has said she knows somthing is up, he hasnt admited to anything, but seems worried she might know somthing. they are bothe 35 yrs old.

I just told her wait around for a few, i have the perfect site to get some advice. lol they havent talked in 3 days... thanx for any advice

s_cianci · Jul 1, 2007, 06:40 AM

I agree with you about the emotional cheating part and the potential of it leading to more. Evidently this guy asked your friend to take him back and she did. You don't mention what issues led to their continually "on and off" and whether or not your friend was happy with that. However, when he came begging back to her that gave her the power and put the ball in her court. Evidently she didn't capitalize on that by setting conditions and limits, so now he's galavanting around again and playing her, which is probably what he's been doing all along. At this point I think your friend should dump him like a hot potato. No calls, no contact of any sort whatsoever. If he comes crawling back again and your friend is so inclined to give him another chance, then she needs to set strict limits. Unless she takes ownership of this relationship, it'll never work out. And if it doesn't, it will have been in spite of her, not because of her. The minute he strays, it's so long sweetheart and for good this time.

hair2007 · Jul 1, 2007, 06:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by s_cianci

I agree with you about the emotional cheating part and the potential of it leading to more. Evidently this guy asked your friend to take him back and she did. You don't mention what issues led to their continually "on and off" and whether or not yoru friend considered that satisfactory. However, when he came begging back to her that gave her the power and put the ball in her court. Evidently she didn't capitalize on that by setting conditions and limits, so now he's galavanting around again and playing her, which is probably what he's been doing all along. At this point I think your friend should dump him like a hot potato. No calls, no contact of any sort whatsoever. If he comes crawling back again and your friend is so inclined to give him another chance, then she needs to set strict limits. The minute he strays, it's so long sweetheart and for good this time.

thanks, do u think she should call the girl???

Tuscany · Jul 1, 2007, 06:45 AM

I agree with S_cianci -

AT 35 years old he is a big boy who knows that his actions have consequences. Don't let him continue to play your friend. She needs to let him go. A good relationship is based on trust and communication, his current actions would make it hard for me to trust him. What about you? Could you trust him?

Tuscany · Jul 1, 2007, 06:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hair2007

thanks, do u think she should call the girl???

Good Lord no!! Stay out of the hornets nest. If you were married and I might be tempted to say yes if it would help you move on. But in this case your relationship is relatively young and I would say that a clean break is the way to go.