I've been friends with this girl I really like for nearly 5 months. I finally told her last night how I feel about her (wanting more than friendship) and it didn't go so well. She claims, I'm great, attractive, a good dad, fun, good morals, and a great friend, but at this time she respects me too much and doesn't want to hurt me. She basically said she married for love before and she'll never do it again. I'm not a rich guy, and she basically said she never wants to have to worry about money.. VERY SHALLOW! Her son and my son are firends, so I'm kind of torn what to do, but I would really like to just MOVE ON.. should I grow a pair, or suck it up and stay in the friend zone.
Staying friends with her right now will give you false hope and make it more difficult to move on with your life.
It doesn't mean you never have to talk to her again, but until your feelings for her are gone, it's not the time to be friends. If she was really that great of a friend, she would understand that you need to put some distance to recover from this rejection before you move forward as friends.
Since there are a lot of factors that could go into her current outlook on marriage (such as what happened in the previous marriage and the divorce), I won't pass judgment on her as a person.
Be glad that she didn't lead you on. She could very easily have played games and kept you on a leash until some rich guy came along then dumped you.
I agree that you don't have to be friends with her even though your children are friends. However, you might want to make sure that your feelings don't invade the boys' relationship or your relationship with her son.
Since there are a lot of factors that could go into her current outlook on marriage (such as what happened in the previous marriage and the divorce), I won't pass judgment on her as a person.
Be glad that she didn't lead you on. She could very easily have played games and kept you on a leash until some rich guy came along then dumped you.
I agree that you don't have to be friends with her even though your children are friends. However, you might want to make sure that your feelings don't invade the boys' relationship or your relationship with her son.
good point; however, I never asked her to marry me... All the qualities she claims I possess, she threw back and said "who said I was looking for those qualities?" LOL!!
I agree with the original post, whoever it was!! quote. "Christ I'd be embarrassed to say the things she said." "and her jerkiness and ineptitude in a relationship...I should be thanking her!!!
Because the kids are friends doesn't mean you have to be, so put enough distance between her, and you, so you can move on.
You can't consider friendship until your over the wanting more thing, if then.
artlady agrees: I love the way you men give these terse answers and the ladies explain it in a different way Same answer ,different approach,its so funny to me !
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You had a really good friendship with her, and the boys with eachother, a win-win.
That she didn't do to you, what you are thinking of doing to her, is lucky- for you.
What is wrong with her being honest. What is wrong with her wanting you to carry on being friends. What is wrong with getting a straight answer, accepting it, and just enjoying the friendship.
She said she married once for love, and won't again. She wants a secure future, a decent income, and a better life. What's wrong with that. You may not agree with her, but that doesn't make her a gold digger or a b***h. She has told you what she wants, and while you may disagree, that's the truth.
I think you are turning your back on a good friendship, and if you can afford to lose that, more power to you. I hope that you can be flexible and mature enough to be cordial and polite in order for the boys to be friends.
Like the others have said at least she was honest with you.....................OR knowing you haven't got much money she may have used that as her vehicle to let you down.
Just another slant on it and could be way off the mark but i've known people to use similar tactics.
I agree with friend4u178. The $ thing may have been an easy excuse to make it clear she is certain and does not want to be persuaded. She is not interested in romance with you. That does not make her a bad person. I suspect there are other reasons she is not interested. I also suspect she saw this coming and had prepared an answer. It's humiliating to be turned down, but try to suck it up and be civil for the sake of your son.
hi,i agree with them,but u got to understand her as well,she's single with a son she probably just want to give her son a good life as well but at the same time it isnt all about money.i dont think she has feelings for u coz if she does money would just come last thinking she's with the man she loves and a man that loves her will go through the battle together .might be hard to move on but that is the only thing you can do,there is a lot of woman out there.
Wow... she's upfront and honest. A real stand up lady. A woman for young girls to look up to.
My God people… listen to yourselves. Get real!!!
She's an uncouth gold digging beyotch!
She's essentially a whore. Yes, a whore. Sex for money. She'll get into a relationship providing sex for a stable income and environment. Take either away and she'll bail out. That’s not love. That’s not a partnership. IT’S A BUSINESS TRANSACTION.
Same answer ,different approach,its so funny to me !
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