Should I make the move?

admiralsfan · #1 Jan 9, 2007, 07:24 PM

I have been good friends with a woman for a year now. We have seen each other quite a bit since we met but just as friends. We have done some things just her and I but also with her friends and my friends. I would have made a move much sooner but there are reasons I haven't. The biggest thing is we were both very busy people with going to school (college) and working. She has been busier than me and it seemed neither of us had time for a relationship. Also, when I first asked her out, I didn't know she just got a out of a relationship and was trying to be friends with her ex. She asked me before our first "date" if this was a date or a "mutual get together". I said the latter because I really just wanted to get to know her better more than anything, being friends first and seeing what happens from there. The other reason is to have an opportunity to make the move. I know all I have to do is ask but it seems more difficult that it should be.

When we first started hanging out she would give and offer me back massages and we also cuddled up to a movie. That was about 2 months in to knowing her and that's the last time we were affectionate to each other in any way. We hug each other when we meet and leave but that's it. I have asked for massages and cuddling up to a movie once in a great while but she selects other options I suggest instead. A female friend of mine, after meeting the girl in question, commented to me "she seems very shy" She is also very independent. It's one the reasons I like her. She is also very open and honest, but we have not discussed feelings yet.

There are a lot of reasons that I like her. She has been a great friend and we see each other 3-4 times a month given our busy schedules this past year, sometimes alone (lately it has been) and sometimes with friends. She takes interest in my interests and vice versa. I just graduated from college and plan to move soon and she wants to help me find a place and help me move. Now that I have more time and her free time seems to be increasing, I want to tell her how I feel and/or ask her to be more than friends.

I feel that I made the move to ask her out, just make the move to ask to be more than friends. The worst she can do is say no. But I feel it has been long enough and I'm getting my emotions all wrapped up in it. It is either ask her or forget about her and just be friends. There is more I could say but I think I covered the basics. Thanks for your advice.

brown sugar · Jan 9, 2007, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by admiralsfan

I have been good friends with a woman for a year now. We have seen each other quite a bit since we met but just as friends. We have done some things just her and I but also with her friends and my friends. I would have made a move much sooner but there are reasons I haven't. The biggest thing is we were both very busy people with going to school (college) and working. She has been busier than me and it seemed neither of us had time for a relationship. Also, when I first asked her out, I didn't know she just got a out of a relationship and was trying to be friends with her ex. She asked me before our first "date" if this was a date or a "mutual get together". I said the latter because I really just wanted to get to know her better more than anything, being friends first and seeing what happens from there. The other reason is to have an opportunity to make the move. I know all I have to do is ask but it seems more difficult that it should be.

When we first started hanging out she would give and offer me back massages and we also cuddled up to a movie. That was about 2 months in to knowing her and that's the last time we were affectionate to each other in any way. We hug each other when we meet and leave but that's it. I have asked for massages and cuddling up to a movie once in a great while but she selects other options I suggest instead. A female friend of mine, after meeting the girl in question, commented to me "she seems very shy" She is also very independent. It's one the reasons I like her. She is also very open and honest, but we have not discussed feelings yet.

There are a lot of reasons that I like her. She has been a great friend and we see each other 3-4 times a month given our busy schedules this past year, sometimes alone (lately it has been) and sometimes with friends. She takes interest in my interests and vice versa. I just graduated from college and plan to move soon and she wants to help me find a place and help me move. Now that I have more time and her free time seems to be increasing, I want to tell her how I feel and/or ask her to be more than friends.

I feel that I made the move to ask her out, just make the move to ask to be more than friends. The worst she can do is say no. But I feel it has been long enough and I'm getting my emotions all wrapped up in it. It is either ask her or forget about her and just be friends. There is more I could say but I think I covered the basics. Thanks for your advice.

I feel you should be honest and tell her how you feel. Honesty is the best policy. By being honest, you will know how she feels. Who knows, she might feel the same way. The good thing is that you two have become friends first which is a plus. I hope things work out for you.

Skell · Jan 9, 2007, 07:47 PM

Friendship is such a wonderful basis for a good solid relationship. After 12 months you clearly get on well so i wouldnt hesitate in seeing if you can take it further if thats what you want.

I just hope you havent fallen too much into the friend zone.

You have to be ready prepared to lose her though if she doesnt share your feelings as it may become uncomfortable between the 2 of you.

If iw ere you though id be asking. You seem pretty clear in thats what you want and you may regret it one day if you dont.

You cant be afraid of rejection!

Good luck and please keep us posted!



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