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I feel like the inside flame that used to give me energy and courage is slowly going out .I think it's all happening because I actually lost my confidence since I was disappointed by my last girlfriend . I have a great memory but I consider this to be a bigger burden then I can carry because I always remember the sad parts of my life. Should I lock these feelings inside and never talk about them again with anyone?
no never ever ever! i saw a shrink once i asked if i was ok at the end of our last session and he said i was because i had the ability to bring out the bad times remember then reflacet them deal with them and hold on to what i need to. you need to do the same bring it out remember your ex remember the sad and good times then reflect think what went wrong what happened why you could do better what you liked in her you want in another partner all that. take the bad parts of the relationship and think about then untill your at peace with the situations that happened and you can move on and take the good parts the good memorys and hold on to then remember her as your friend, next time your in a relationhship think about what good things could come out of it. you need to balance the good and bad in what you remember and what you forget. dont hold anything in you dont need to. get it out relight your flame, roast some marshmellows and have fun with your life there are 6 billion people in the world you might still have a soul mate out there.....like they say like moths to the flame eh?
also if you have another relationship dont bring up your past untill your close enough that she can help you with your past and not freak out and say i have my own burdens. when your close let her know about r past relationships and what hurt you and this way if she really loves you she wont hurt you in that way
No, don't lock your feelings away inside. That is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Emotions are meant to be let out, not held in. Holding them in can make you tense, depressed, and it never gives you the chance to work through it and eventually have closure. I think that talking to a counselor is the best thing to do when you are feeling really sad and losing confidence. The counselor is a safe person to talk to and can give you professional advice about how to work through the emotions and let them out so that you can move on. If seeing a counselor isn't possible, you might want to talk to a relative, good friend, or a religious leader (if that applies to you). But talking about it is what is so important so that you can let it all out. I hope you feel better soon!
"you bottle up all those feelings and let them come out at the most inappropriate time like the time daddy hit the referee with the whiskey bottle do you remember that when daddy hit the referee." Homer Simpson.
I wrote that for two reason 1 cause I love The Simpsons and 2. Cause if you bottle stuff up and lock it away you will be the one hitting the ref with a whiskey bottle. Got to talk about it man!!!!!! I use to lock stuff up until it would make me literally sick. I would start to throw up and just get completely stressed out. Now I talk about everything I am feeling. I have to say it feels great and now I don't have to worry about hitting a Ref with a Whiskey bottle cause it was about to get to that point with me!!!!!!!!
Getting those feeling out, where they can be dealt with the right way, can save a lot of misery later, as we can never bury our feelings, good or bad, completely. Thats what counselors, and relationship experts are for, helping you deal with those feelings.
also if you have another relationship dont bring up your past untill your close enough
Actually that is the problem, I am very careful with my girlfriends and I am almost mister perfect like I make 2 to 5 mistakes a year in a relationship and even those are minor. All of my girlfriends said to me that this may be the problem, everything is working great but they get bored because there is nothing unexpected happening and that they feel bad about not being so carefully like I am . Actually the last was constantly saying that she didn't deserve me because I was much better then her. I analyse every aspect of my past , actually I do that every time something goes wrong, I analyse everything again and again and try to modify my behavior to correct the things that I consider to be wrong. I think that makes me so boring, anyway thanks for the cheer up and hope to hear from you again!
No, don't lock your feelings away inside. That is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Emotions are meant to be let out!
Every time I tried to show my emotions every single one of my girlfriends said it was a success on their part because I was so cold and so on but eventually they all "left me in the rain" just like that song by DJ Tiesto. I am starting to believe that other people cannot hear our thoughts because they shouldn't hear them from the start. I appreciate your advice and thank you for your help.
"you bottle up all those feelings and let them come out at the most inappropriate time like the time daddy hit the referee with the whiskey bottle do you remember that when daddy hit the referee." Homer Simpson.!!!
I get your point but I was thinking to continue on a more spartan method of personality strengthening something like "remember what they did last time sucker and try to stay a little bit further next time" because too much feelings are not quite good in a single relationship from my experience. I do believe that things would have been better if I wasn't so open about the past. I like The Simpsons too but were I live sometimes is better to hit the referee because they are all corrupt. Thanks for your sincerity and hope to hear from you again soon.
Getting those feeling out, where they can be dealt with the right way, can save a lot of misery later, as we can never bury our feelings, good or bad, completely. Thats what counselors, and relationship experts are for, helping you deal with those feelings.
It's true but I don't really see how a discussion can make my bad feelings go away or became less painful. Now that you brought the subject of psychology I have to say these:I was dumped and it hurts, I am sure it wasn't the last time and it never gets easier but I'm just trying to learn from other's real live experience, not from some counselor that learned about this in school. I was top student of my class for 12 years and I can tell you this for sure: I learned a lot of things but got further and further away from reality, from my friends and that made me an outsider in my own "gang" of friends. Now I'm trying to learn from those people whom never made my mistake, whom never lost their friends. Schools are good but not enough. Thanks anyway, I truly appreciate your honesty.
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