Attempted rape leading to relationship problems

Mandy_Marie · #1 Jun 4, 2008, 11:24 AM

When I was 17, I was almost raped by a man I worked with. I never told anyone about it, but it has made me very uncomfortable with the physical aspect of relationships. I'm 19 now, and have met someone I care for a lot. I haven't told him about the attempted rape, or the fact that I am a virgin with very little experience. Every time we start to fool around though, I get scared and have to stop him. I want to be with him physically, I just get nervous and can't... So my questions are:1. How do I let him know about the attempted rape, and about my lack of experience?2. How do I get over my fear of sex?3. Humiliatingly, I was also wondering if there are any technique books, so that when we finally do get together, I'm not completely terrible at it?Thank you so much,Amanda

tjplayer · Jun 5, 2008, 07:24 AM

If you are in a relationship that you think you want to take to the next level, then you should be able to tell him this important part. He probably already wondering whats going on. I would sit down and just tell him you have something that you need him to know before you can go any farther. I am sure he will understand and with him knowing about the attempted rape then it will allow you to be more comfortable with him when it does happen. I am sure the fact of you being a virgin will not be a big deal. He may even like it more. when the time is right you will be fine. Just go slow and tell him your secrets, this will also help in your relationship, I would think. Please remember I am not a therapist and this is just my opinion based on what you have wrote. If the attempted rape is upsetting you then Maybe you could make an appointment with a therapist, they could help you more than anyone. Good Luck and Best wishes.

igman · Jun 5, 2008, 09:01 AM

Yes, I agree. If he has the same feelings for you that you have for him, then telling him about the attempted rape is important and will help him to understand. I know it did with me when my wife told me. It put a lot of things into perspective. The inexperience is not as big of an issue as you think. Believe me, you will be surprised at how things will come to you naturally. Yes, you can read books to get tips or hints and information, but dont worry, sweetie, we all have to start somewhere ! Good luck !!

Romefalls19 · Jun 6, 2008, 04:13 AM

Open the lines of communication with your boyfriend, tell him why you're worried and then go from there. Every relationship needs communication



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