Alrighty, look this might really really hurt you.
I'm sad to say this but, it's kind of true... once a cheater always a cheater.
When you forgive them once, they'll think "hey, i got away with this, who cares, she'll still be there" I'm having the same problem now, no cheating but... the guy is taking me for granted and thinks I'm always going to be there. Because I kept going back to him, kept talking to him... I couldn't admit to myself he's not going to change. You have to try to move on, just go out party have fun, be good, try another guy out. I doubt this one is good for you, show him you don't need him. & ignore him, if he truly loves you he's comes crawling back to your door , etc. Just try your best to move it, it won't be easy, TRUST ME. I doubt you'll find a guy who won't take take you for granted when you give him another chance... so yeah... think about it. (:

GREAT SUGGESTION!

I learned from you Talaniman! Hahah.

Seriously, to anyone reading this. Take Talaniman's advice, feel free to go read my old threads as he has some GREAT advice.

No sugar coating, just the truth, which is the best way to approach all of these situations.

And that's why Talaniman is fabulous. Lol

THIS HAPPENED YESTERDAY!!!!


alrite guys...im finally 100% on wat ive decided...

for one i will not get back with him..my aunt had lent him a bookand i had to go pick it up yesterday.. I had a feeling this would happen.. so I drove to his house and before I did I had sent him multiple textes saying to put the book in the mailbox and I don't want to see your filthy face. So he kept responding how sorry he was and blah blah blah.. I just wanted to make sure he would put it.. because I knew if he sees me he won't let me go.. I also told him to tell his dad to put it since he wasn't home which was great but he wudnt tell me if his dad was home because he's usually working.. so I didn't want to just drive there and have him not be there.

****the day before yesterday i put all the memories,pictures album, valentines day cards, christmas cards, even noted we passed in high school in AP chemistry, i went to his house he was home i saw his car so i quickly hung the bag with stuff on his mailbox and after i left i told him to take it...i had to take the first step to make myself get over him and doing this meant sooo much to me..it made me feel strong..so he eventually got the bag and he sent me messages saying that u see u do love me and u kno i love u ths symbolizes our love and i wrote if u loved me u wudve not done wat u did wit that girl in fact i can't even say u care about me because u just dont hurt people u care about..obviously u didnt care so love is beyond"" anyway and thats wen i had gottn a call from my aunt saying she needed her book it means a lot to her..so i told him to drop it in his mailbox...
so back to wat i was saying..i drove to his house and there was no book in the mailbox soo i started yelling a storm in my car and i texted him a really mean text once again basically saying put it in the mailbox and go inside or ill drive off.
while im texting this kid comes out with the bag i gave him of all of our stuff and my heart dropped wen i saw him.. I really didn't want to see him.. so I figured the book was in the bag I gave him.. he ran to my car and tried to open the door but I locked it.. his eyes were soooo puffy and teary he luked soooo depressed I've never seen him like that.. so I opened the wimdow just a little it and yelled give the f-in bag.. so he just kept saying baby just please please please listen to me for a little bit pleasee and at this point he was crying and crying non stop.. and I took the bag finally.. and I'm in the car guys he's locked out know that.. so he gives me the bag and me smart I luked inside and see that the book wasn't inside..

It was all the stuff that I had given him the memories.. so he said baby please take them back I know how much they mean to you please.. and he said he put a letter inside for me so I took it out and I crumbled it in his face and said "it means NAAA--thingggg to me!!!!!" and he began crying to a point where he cudnt even talk...he said baby u dunt mean that..u dont.. u dont u dont!! baby pease u know i love u and i now kno how stupid i was..if u dont come back to me now i WILL earn u back and i will do everything i have to..because i deep inside my heart want u to be happy and even if its a different guy i still want the best for u believe me wen i say this but i can't even think that i kno I CAN BE THAT MAN.. I WANT TO UR MANNN and ONLY urs and u be my girl and ONLY GIRL BABY

Things he said.. baby this was so long ago please I made a huge mistake I was immature and stupid and I can honestly say I'm the f-in stupidest guy on earth.. I had something so precious and I just threw it away( I said.. IT WAS 4 MONTHS AGO your guna tell your matured and you became a man during that time?? ) he says baby please take me back I promise you I've changed and the word please and don't leave me wer said sooo much I lost count... he said I promise I will be your man the man you deserve I will baby please give this only chance please! And he's crying.. at this point I'm yelling get me the book and he is trying to get his arms in the wimdow which he couldn't because I kept shutting it..

than i had had it soo i lowered my window and got close to his face and said GET ME THE BOOOOKKKK!!!! im not listening to ur lies and bull just GOOOOOOOO!!!!
he said baby i can't do that im sorry.. I can't let you goooo please don't leave meeeee and I smacked him while he was saying all this... guys I was soooooo heatted..

wen i went not to sound conceated lol but i luked hott i had my nice and my glasses on the thing that reallllyyyy got him emotional was wen i said luk at mee..(i pulled up my sunglasses) and said u see......not one tear...luk whose crying now..luk whose begging now and i smiled..he just BROKEEE down.

Than I had also told him this.. I took off my sunglasses again and said "listen move on I'm never guna get back with u... and omg that was the worst thing ever for him... I said I don't feel bad for... and he kept begging baby at least let me sit in your car and talk please.. ive been sooo depressed I can't function I can't breath your my life and I'm not letting you go.. baby disrespected my family and yours by my dumb action and most of all you... I don't care what you say to me say what ever you want because I deserve it(guys I've never hit him before.. ive never cursed at him never because we HAD respect but now that its all gone it kills him for me to talk to him this way)

OK SO I GOT REALLY MAD RAN OUT OF MY CAR AND RAN INTO HIS HOUSE..HE RAN AFTER ME AND I WENT TO LUK FOR THE BOOK AND MY LUCK HE HID IT..HE KNOWS ME TOO WELL..SO I BEGAN SCREAMING WHERE IS THE BOOK..HE PICKED UP THE CRUMBLED BABY HE WANTED ME TO READ FROM MY CAR AND HE BEGAN READING IT OUT LOUD..IT WAS A PAGE FROM HIS JOURNAL FROM WEN ME AND HIM FIRST HUNG OUT AND HOW MUCH HE LIKED ME..I TOOOK IT OUT OF HAND AND SLAPPED HIM WITH IT..GUYS I CUDN CONTROL MY SELF IM USUALLY THE GIRL THATS ANTI PHYSICAL ABUSE LOL BUT I CUDNT CONTROL MY SELF. HE ONLY BLOCKED ME AND KEPT TALKING AND SAYING FORGIVE ME PLEASEEE AND SH-IT. FINALLY HE GAVE ME THE BOOK CUZ I WAS GOING CRAZYYY CUZ I WNTED TO LEAVE HIS HOUSE WE WERE IN HIS ROOM U KNO..HIS BED WAS RITE THERE AND IT HURT ME TO LUK AT IT CUZ WE SHARED A LOT OF SPECIAL MOMENTS ON IT AND NOT JUST LOVE MAKING. ANYWAY I GOT THE BOOK AND RAN SOOOOO FAST OUT HIS HOUSE AND HE WAS RITE BEHIND ME..HE WANTED TO HOLD AND STUFF BUT HE KNEW THAT WAS THE WORST THING HE CUD DOO..CUZ I WUD FLIPP A SH-IT. SO WEN I GOT IN MY CAR HE RAN IN AND HE SAT IN THE PASSENGER SEAT!!!OMG I WAS SOOO PISSED..ALL I WANTED WAS THE DAM BOOK AND I CUDNT GET IT ANY WAY ELSE CUZ ONLY HE KNEW WHERE IT WAS AND HE WUDNT DROP IT OFF AT MY AUNTS!! HE DID IT CUZ HE WANTED TO C ME AND TALK. AND I WENT THERE KNOWING THIS BUT I ALSO DID IT SO HE CAN C HOW MUCH IM OVER HIM IN JUST 2 DAYS!!

So he of course continued to say a whole lot of bull... baby listen I can't let you leave me please give a chance and I promise you it will change and I will stay at my aunts house and be home every weekend and but I didn't care and he said he would come home during the week sometimes because his aunt lives between his schol and my house. He could come home half the time...
i said listen get this in ur puny brain my heart is sealed and i can NEVER let u back in u understand??u betrayed my trust for u and its all been lies after lies!!!!im screaming these sentences and hes crying like a lil baby. i can never satisfy u after wat u did..u had sex with me and than with her and than WITH MEE!! do u understand..congradulations u got wat u effin wanted and now u can be free and screw as many girls as u want!! because im stronger and numb from the pain that i dont bother to care anymore. after this pain i can handle anything and that means letting u go((((dammm im mad nice hahahah)and he began cryingggggggggggggg and cryingggggggggg and cryingggggggggg he couldn't even talk from his tears.. i said to him i dont feel bad for u and before u had told me baby dont ever think that u were never good enough because ur the best girlfriend any guy can ask for... i said ITS NOT THAT I WAS NEVER GOOD OF FOR U...ITS THAT I WAS TOOOOOOOO GOOD FOR YOU) another nice one by mee haha and his last thing he said to me was I promise I'm going to earn you back and I don't care how long it takes because your my life.. I said what the hell do you want from me! Its not guna happen and he refused to accept that. I had also told him listen this is just a phase you may feel like now but your guna eventually forget me and move on I mean I am, I'm going out this weekend with kayla and he broke down once again... and he said no baby please donttt.. I can't have you be wit other guys and I said watch mee and smiled.. OK the end my fingers hurt haha

OK so that's my 1st love tragic ending story please comment if you have advice for me regarding my future with this cheater, I can only say that I am in love with him and I told him listen I want to be with you soooooooooooooo bad as much as u BUT I can't and he said yes you can baby please but I didn't listen.. maybe in like year or sumtin maybe we can start all over? But I don't think I can with the way I feel now you know but people do deserve another chance and they also deserved to be punished. His punishment is never seeing me... give me some advice ;)

And that's what I'm going to do with my ex when I get my stuff back...

I can imagine myself rolling up to her house with a tuned car for drifting or a ferrari.. or any nice ,good looking, fast car...

Good job on your part~ you kept yourself together!

I know and it was so hard.. I didn't shed one tear :D and this KILLED him.. and when I smiled he was like baby please don't smile I mean everything I'm saying I promise..

The best advice I can give you is to make up your own mind. If you are asking all of us then it is possible that you don't want to break up but you need to realize your own potential for forgiveness and ask yourself this very impotant question. If I stay are things going to be the same happy I remember or am I always going to question everything he does when he is not with me? If you can get past this and really believe he made a wrong choice and will not do it again then stay, if you are going to drive yourself nuts because you no longer trust him therefore making yourself miserable then maybe you should consider breaking up. Above all else this has to be your choice and not make the decision based on other people's opinion or else you will always wonder if you made the right choice. I give you this advice from experience.

If he keeps calling your cell phone. Give him a personalized ring... Taylor Swift "Should've said no":-)

I can imagine my ex with a new boyfriend or boyfriends who are trash =]

Like I said before- "friends"...

Of course I don't want to break up.. I feel and know that if I say OK I take you back but I can't forgive what you did.. well believe that I will start sooo many fights and because of this I will keep on hurting.. so I must let him go to realize that he isn't the only fish in the sea and I have to open my eyes to new opportunities.. I mean it when I say I trully am the best girlfriend.. I have done him so much and I can also say that I have shaped up his pesonallity and he knows this and I was the only person in his life that actually really showed him love and cared for him. His mother passed when he was in the 7th grade, and his sister got married and moved out and he lives with his dad and he's not the best dad in the world they always fight. His grandma was great to him she died, his aunt died and he has been through a lot and that why his family loves me so much because I was the only thing that made him happy :( but he did it to himself so what position am I in? Exactly I shouldn't be in that position so he tookme for granted... so I must move on and let him live with the problems he caused.. now when he mostly needs someone.. im not there because this time he made a mistake of hurting me...

I'm somewhat in his situation. My ex was the only one in my life that really showed me any true affection and I loved her but we had to separate because she was going away to college and I'm still in high school. I live in Sac and she's going to UC Santa Cruz. I still miss her and everything but I knew it was inevitable. I know how he feels- I'm just glad Sam didn't do to me what you did to him lol. But then again, why would she? I didn't cheat...

I have to give you the rockstar seal of approval for that. I did that with my ex when I found out he cheated. I showed up at HIS GIRLFRIEND'S HOUSE (that he was living with) and all of his friends were standing outside, and I walked up to the door, I said "I know you've been cheting. I am done. I want my stuff back and I want you NEVER to call me again." He said "I'll bring it down to your car" and I stood right there and waited. He called me later beggng and crying and pleading and he did that for months and I stuck to my guns, so good job!

Now you just got to stick to it.

It's the worst when you return their stuff because its kind of like a metaphor, the stuff symbolizes your love, your relationship, and that you are ready to move on and forget!! :) I recommend this to everyone who has been cheated on...

Yeh.. UC Santa Cruz full of dirty girls like UC Santa Barbara D;

But you got some time before :D

He just sent me a text saying to listen to its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday and than all my life mykc and jojo and than he wrote I swear in the next message... oh god!! Does he want to not forget! Because I'm really trying and he's running it but ill be stronggg

Want to buy my 400whp Subaru Impress WRX that's had a complete STi engine drivetrain swapped into it? I walk all over porsches and corvettes haha!

To the original poster, your novel of a post was Epic! Remind me to never make you mad!

:)

The way he is acting is out of desperation, and not necessarily his true feelings. You've stated that he doesn't have the best household to live in, and all of the important people in his life have passed away, leaving him stranded.

I agree with your position but I think that just for the heck of it, I'll see if I can look at this from his perspective.

He cheated, he broke your trust, and he feels like a jackass (he IS human). And for some odd reason he did so on a whim, and now realizes that he has MAJORLY messed up with the only person that he can still confide in, be treated decently, and be cared for. It's tough, almost as tough as what you're going through.

Even though you're staying strong (I commend you), I know that you are having just as much of a hard time as he is.

People say, do, act in crazy ways when in desperate times. Don't hold what he's saying to you now against him.

Personally, I think that though you needed to act and talk harshly towards him, that you could have been a little more reserved. He knows he messed up, but throwing in how great you look and other things is a bit over the top. He could have just never told you what he did, give him some credit for that.

You don't need to say how much better you are than him to show it if that makes sense. I don't cheat on my girlfriends, and I won't lie to them. If I felt I needed to cheat, I would just break up with the girl because it's not fair to them. And if I was drunk (even though I choose not to drink haha) and hooked up with a girl, I would confess what I did, and understand that I messed up, I wouldn't forgive my significant other either and I would bow out gracefully so that they can be happy.

I think this guy has attachment issues, if he's saying "you are my life" that's a big red flag. No other person should be why you're alive, you are both independent people enjoying the affection and time with one another.

Who knows what the future holds for you both, though he made a mistake (a VERY big one, especially since he had sex with her, and then you) but other than that if he was a fairly decent boyfriend, I would hope you could show a little more compassion for him and still be stern on your decisions.

My heart goes out to you for what you have to deal with now, and I wish he could be a bit more mature and stop trying to put so much stress on your life after already giving you a big blow to your gut with his actions.

Always here to talk,

Kevin

I love this guy, ^^^^^ he has the answer to everything. (: