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nymphetamine · Apr 30, 2007, 03:59 PM

I have this guy friend that's a few years older than me. He recently just got back with his girlfriend who had cheated on him. This girl has done nothing while they were together but cause him misery and treat him like dirt. Me and his other friends are trying to tell him he's making a huge mistake but he won't listen. He wants to know why we can't be happy for him and stop lecturing. I told him that I'm sorry I can't be happy knowing that he is making a huge mistake that could probably impact the rest of his life. What if she gets pregnant and they get married and have kids together? His excuse for her is that she has mental problems and has to be on medication. Should I just tell him what he wants to hear and pet him on his head and say" Good for you buddy. Glad your happy" while secretly knowing that his life is going to get screwed but, just keep shut about it and let him see for himself? Or do I keep smacking him upside the head with the awful truth that he does not want to hear?

ordinaryguy · Apr 30, 2007, 04:12 PM

You've done your duty as a friend by telling him what you think. If he can't hear it, there's nothing more you can do. Continuing to smack him upside the head about it will just make him mad at you.

AKaeTrue · Apr 30, 2007, 04:18 PM

He's just going to have to learn the hard way...

talaniman · Apr 30, 2007, 04:43 PM

Sometimes we have to let our friends get burned so they know what fire is.

JoeCanada76 · Apr 30, 2007, 05:06 PM

I agree with all the posts so far.

You already told your friend several times what you think. How it is going to ruin him because of the way he has been treated by her already. I think you should just leave it. Let him find out himself. Some people find out the hard way.

Maybe he needs that.

Later on when he gets screwed he will wonder why you were not there to tell him but you were. He did not want to listen to it. When this happens to him, remind him if needed that you tried to let him know but he did not want to listen to any of it.

Wish him his best and let him know you always be there for him no matter what happens.

Joe

Fr_Chuck · Apr 30, 2007, 06:06 PM

I often ask this myself, I just can't understand why all these posters here will not just see how smart I am and just do what I tell them to do, but nope, they date that married man, or go back to that abusive husband,

In the end, be their friend, tell them once but then in the end, let it go but still be their friend, they will need you there for them when you can later way I told you so.

ceriphante · May 3, 2007, 10:42 AM

The only way to learn when you are wearing the love goggles is to be burnt.
By the way when and if things go awry for this guy, if you really care as a friend even though you could turn around and say 'told you so' you won't you'll help him pick up the pieces right?

Good luck to him though and you!

tiredandlonely · May 3, 2007, 11:36 AM

Friends have told me about my ex. I don't want to hear it. I am trying to get back with her and I still don't want to here it. Whatever makes him happy is the main thing. If he is going to be miserable it is because he chose to be, not because a friend said they didn't like her.