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Home > Family & People > Relationships   »   the ex dilemmas!

 
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Old Mar 10, 2008, 05:58 AM
mysteriousman
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the ex dilemmas!

ok.
im a 19yr old male from australia.

so ive been apart from my ex for just over 3months..and we havent taken the orthodox approach. we hang out heaps, and we enjoy each others company, the last few weeks, we started hooking up again..and i know it isnt good! but yeh..it is good

we have stopped talking for brief periods during the 3months, but then always, started talking again, which is, what has happened over the past 3yrs. She tells me "she feels so comfortable around me" and ive heard that she has told mutual friends, shes thought, maybe it was a bad idea we broke up.

we broke up, cos she had such a long relationship before us, but she needed time...ashe said if she wanted a bf, it would be me..im not sure if she said that, to let me down lightly or...but i dont think shes that kind of girl! hmm..

i personally think, deep deep down, she wants it too work, but then on the outside, shes convincing/telling herself, or reminding herself..she doesnt want a bf? make sense?

ugh my heard hurts from it, to be honest..ive been with a few girls since her, and i know when im with them, its not supose to be like, what it was wit her, but it doesnt feel right with the others?

someone help me?

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Old Mar 10, 2008, 08:34 AM   #2  
SJB1701E
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I would make yourself a little less available. I wouldn't say cut her off right now though some people will, just dont always be there. Get her to chase you a little. When she calls be "too busy" to talk. Flirt with other girls and make sure she knows about it though anything more than flirting will hurt you. If she has no risk of losing you, she has no reason to get back together. You want her to earn you, not the other way around. You have to take control and make her chase you. Play hard to get.
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Old Mar 10, 2008, 08:54 AM   #3  
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is she busy in something? i mean studies or job ? if not then there is no reason to think like this i mean if she sees u as her future bf then why not present... ask the reason
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Old Mar 10, 2008, 10:01 AM   #4  
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this really is a tight situation ...a girl always confused about their situation and dont no what to to ...and when they do ? it either too late for us men to wait or that she will be scare that you wont forgive her for broking up at the first place ....

you spending time with her now which is good ...but do you think that b.c of she still likes you or she think of you as a friend ? ..... try to make yourself a lil busy ^^ try to like just hang out with friends and be busy ...

if she likes you and desperated to hang out with you she will call and makes her move....

she should be the one chasing you ^^ >....i am not saying play hard to get b.c it a dangerous game but just be easy a lil ^^

best wish
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Old Mar 10, 2008, 11:48 AM   #5  
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you better let her knows that you won't be ther forever! Let her think you just moved on, dont be always there..dont call her, let she calls you! If she feels like she's the one for you, she will never make a real decision.
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Old Mar 10, 2008, 03:23 PM   #6  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drnidz
is she busy in something? i mean studies or job ? if not then there is no reason to think like this i mean if she sees u as her future bf then why not present... ask the reason

yeh she just studied new studies in podiatry, i know shes very busy, 5 days a week.
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Old Mar 10, 2008, 03:25 PM   #7  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simple Asian
this really is a tight situation ...a girl always confused about their situation and dont no what to to ...and when they do ? it either too late for us men to wait or that she will be scare that you wont forgive her for broking up at the first place ....

you spending time with her now which is good ...but do you think that b.c of she still likes you or she think of you as a friend ? ..... try to make yourself a lil busy ^^ try to like just hang out with friends and be busy ...

if she likes you and desperated to hang out with you she will call and makes her move....

she should be the one chasing you ^^ >....i am not saying play hard to get b.c it a dangerous game but just be easy a lil ^^

best wish

hey man, thanks for the answer..

i stopped talking to her for a few weeks, then she'd contact me "where u been? i thought u died" and stuff like that.

then last weekend i invited her out friday night, she came, and we hung out. then i had a quiet night on saturday, and invited her..she declined because what happened friday night, she then rang me, half an hour later, saying she was coming over. the same on sunday!

ugh
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Old Mar 10, 2008, 03:29 PM   #8  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SJB1701E
I would make yourself a little less available. I wouldn't say cut her off right now though some people will, just dont always be there. Get her to chase you a little. When she calls be "too busy" to talk. Flirt with other girls and make sure she knows about it though anything more than flirting will hurt you. If she has no risk of losing you, she has no reason to get back together. You want her to earn you, not the other way around. You have to take control and make her chase you. Play hard to get.

ahha thanks, yeh i must say, i have been with a few girls since her, not in pure spite, but i thought i was over her, and was time to move on..i think i was wrong.

because we use to work at the same place, she pretty much finds everything out, im not sure if its a good thing or bad, but then when i see her, she'll ask 100 questions about the other girl, and i can see theres jealousy there.
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Old Mar 12, 2008, 04:54 PM   #9  
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Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Simple Asian
this really is a tight situation ...a girl always confused about their situation and dont no what to to ...and when they do ? it either too late for us men to wait or that she will be scare that you wont forgive her for broking up at the first place ....

you spending time with her now which is good ...but do you think that b.c of she still likes you or she think of you as a friend ? ..... try to make yourself a lil busy ^^ try to like just hang out with friends and be busy ...

if she likes you and desperated to hang out with you she will call and makes her move....

she should be the one chasing you ^^ >....i am not saying play hard to get b.c it a dangerous game but just be easy a lil ^^

best wish


hey man, thanks for the answer..

i stopped talking to her for a few weeks, then she'd contact me "where u been? i thought u died" and stuff like that.

then last weekend i invited her out friday night, she came, and we hung out. then i had a quiet night on saturday, and invited her..she declined because what happened friday night, she then rang me, half an hour later, saying she was coming over. the same on sunday!

ugh

ahhhhh man easy it

dont call her b.c you bored ....call your friend up ....and hang out with them...

if she call you ...not that i say you should say no..but you no let her go sometime just like be busy ...you too easy to get .....
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Old Mar 16, 2008, 06:17 AM   #10  
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What part of hang out buddies, is it you don't understand? Comfortable, and available, and reliable. Disappear for a while, and she will be mad. Get another female, she will be mad. Send us a picture, so we can see what kind of collar and leash you have, as you are obviously very well trained. I know that was unfair, but she has total control, and you obey willingly. Fine for now, until she decides she wants something serious, and she takes you off the front porch, and locks you in the basement. You are way to attached to your friend, and need your own life, without her in it. You both are each others crutch.
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